Am I being stingy with kids presents?

[MunsterMumm]

Got three DC - DS6, DD4 and DD who is 2 months old.

We have bought DS a toy he really wanted and books and DD a bike. These are the "Santa" presents. And from us a board game each. In stockings they'll get a bath bomb and chocolate coins. Baby is getting some socks just to have something under the tree.

They will get presents from both grandparents after Christmas, and grandparents usually shower them with gifts so I didn't want to get them too much because the get overwhelmed and I cannot cope with too much stuff. DS is also a bit more difficult to buy for as he has things like a bike already a wants a tablet which we have already said no to. They have thibgs like magnetic tiles and Lego so I'm at a loss as to what else to get. Grandparents are getting Lego, remote control car and toys etc

I've just seen on a different thread someone worried that three presents each for the kids won't be enough and now I'm worried we've not got them enough! I don't want to buy little cheap bits like slime, small toys etc because they'll get opened and tossed to one side after 5 mins never to be played with again. I also really want the kids to learn early on it's not about quantity. But I also want them to be happy at Christmas.

Is what we have enough or should I get some more? If so, any suggestions on meaningful presents for a 6 and 4 year old that aren't clothes?

thank you

Growing up we always had a stocking from Santa and the one Santa gift we asked for sitting beside the stocking (unless we asked for a surprise then it would be a surprise)
plus one from our parents.
anything else was relatives, siblings as the y got older etc.
christmas was still magical - had no idea that others had piles until I was a grown up!
we do the same now and the gifts we get we do go for quality and I’m really obsessive with reading reviews and safest brands etc lol
we have the siblings pick something smaller out for each other or help them with ideas - we try to get them to focus on something their sibling would really enjoy having etc, as they get older and start working they buy gifts themselves so that’s one less for us to buy.
the main gift is from us.
they do get from others too which are usually given to us before the day and under the tree.
one of us or the kids hands out gifts one by one which we all enjoy so it’s not over quickly and it’s not too chaotic (a couple in the family really struggle with chaos and noise)
We sit with hot chocolate or fun adult drink lol and just enjoy the moment with music and fire on - everyone interested in seeing what the others get.
anyway that’s what works for us so just do what works for you, the kids will be used to whatever you do
(oh btw in stockings we add a mixture of fun/useful/treats - and always toothbrush and toothpaste lol - youngest is getting bluey toothbrush and toothpaste and will go bananas for it lol)

Oh also I don’t think it is stingy.
I’ve never had the list thing so when I did find out about it it seemed strange to me, not in a bad way, just different. It still feels strange and I’m really not into lists but for some reason I really enjoy reading lists on here, maybe because it’s so different from what i know, but also I get lots of ideas!

I also think this age is just tremendous fun to buy for too. There’s so much good stuff (not tat, tut or any variation thereof): books, craft kits, dressing up clothes, small world play stuff, Lego kits, games, etc that will get used throughout the whole year. I am embracing it all until we get to the tech, designer labels and skincare era!

The only thing that occurs to me OP is that these are peak Christmas years for your children, where the number of items they'd like at the sort of price that you can pay is at its maximum. All too soon they're at secondary and the number of things they really want are far fewer and those things cost far more! I'd say enjoy the years where there's loads of things that they would love at a reasonable cost while you can.

I don't mean go mad and pile up stuff in your trolley/basket, but a few more things wouldn't go amiss, if you don't do stockings. The crafting things, kits and jigsaws, colouring books and role play/dressing up things, an easel with a magnetic whiteboard side and a chalkboard side... these are things children usually enjoy and will help them develop through play enormously.

I miss those Christmases when it was easy to think of ideas for things dc hadn't asked for but would like. And stockings are a great way of extending the exciting time when there are presents that haven't been opened and revealed their surprise. It doesn't matter to kids if the items are low value, at that age they don't notice or care. They just enjoy opening them and seeing what it is...

Well you've said what I was thinking but managed it in a much more sensible number of words...

Every family do things differently but for me 2-3 gifts wouldn't feel like enough, especially since they're all 'worthy' gifts, not decadent wants.

Mine get bikes as they need as a form of transport, and books and board games are also generally bought as needed for their educational value. I might give that kind of stuff alongside their wish list stuff but I would want to get at least one thing each that I wouldn't buy if it wasn't Christmas.

A bike plus board game, stocking fillers and gifts from wider family isn't much?

Yes OP, that’s stingy. Sounds like they don’t have much to start with. Wouldn’t your children like new fun PJs, slippers etc? Always nice to have new for special times.

So do you plan on buying only this number of presents for the children as they get older?

OP did your parents only buy you that number of gifts when you were 6?

Each to their own but I personally think that’s not enough!

A bike cant be used on Christmas Day. A board game is lovely, but it’s family fun. It isn’t a lot for a four year old.

Are they really getting two things in their stockings? Are the stockings actually just a sock?

why can't a bike be used on christmas day?

I think you want to believe it’s tat
but consumables aren’t tat
older children’s hand me downs aren’t tat, and they’re reusing things which is better for the environment and teaching the children about passing things on, gift giving, thinking of others etc.
the only one that remotely makes your point is a hypothetical statement that said ‘if’ the gift was tossed aside after 5 mins, opening the gift had been joy enough and the item has served a purpose at that point. But that doesn’t mean the gift has to be tat. You can get nice gifts that provide joy in opening them too.

wow I didn't expect to get so many replies! Thank you all for the different perspectives.

Growing up I only got one present at Christmas and thought that was normal until I was at secondary school and realised others had very different Christmases. I had a single mum in low paying job and she couldn't afford much (certainly not everything I circled in the Argos catalogue 😂) so she would pick one thing and that was it and I remember being quite chuffed with whatever I got and I still look back fondly on my childhood Christmases. My biggest wish was to wake up finding blankets of thick fluffy snow outside so I could make a proper snowman who would fly me to the North Pole but that had not yet happened (I live in hope!). Christmas for me was about being cosy at home, watching films on tv (no Netflix then) and going for a nice walk after a big lunch.

I guess to some extent I have refrained from buying lots of things because (a) I didn't have lots and was perfectly happy and (b) the grandparents love buying the kids a lot and we don't want to end up with too much as we can't store it all. It doesn't help that the grandparents tend to buy them toys throughout the year too (even though we constantly tell them not to). We tell them every year to buy one thing for Christmas but they don't listen as they enjoy it so much. We are very grateful the kids have such loving grandparents who want to spoil them but I do wish they would rein it in a bit as we find it very hard to store all this stuff.

I think I will be adding some craft bits, tooth brush and PJs (they do need new pjs) and maybe one extra present each. Tablet for DS is a no as he's got an expensive present (just not as big size wise as the bike but still expensive!).

Thank you all again and merry Christmas!

I like the idea of getting the kids to hand down/help wrap one of their pre existing toys to baby! That's a sweet idea!

Nah. If the only reason you’re giving something is to make the pile of presents look bigger (as in the examples I gave where people literally talk about wrapping stuff they already own, “padding” presents with extra side presents etc- none of those examples were about giving thoughtful presents) that’s a load of tut which normalises overconsumption and the idea that gift-giving is about excess. It’s really gross and creates a rod for your own back. I’m not against generous gifts at all, but I am against this weird idea that the main aim
is to have a great big pile of gifts. Maybe it’s a SM thing.

30ish years ago JK Rowling satirised this approach by showing Dudley Dursley kicking off because he has 25 presents not 26 (or whatever it was). Now it seems to be the norm 🤷‍♀️

Surely you can work this out? It’s freezing, dark, and no one is going to spend spend the day taking a child out on her bike. Maybe ten minutes to test it out but she won’t get the pleasure from using it much on Christmas Day. That will come later.

He kicked off because he had one less than the previous year. I don’t think anyone is advocating children counting their presents.

Is there any particular characters they like? Maybe buy them a plush or something

But they are advocating doing things for no reason other than to increase the number of presents.

As I’ve said, I have no issue with generous gifts, if they are actual gifts. Deliberately padding them with extras for the sole purpose of having more to unwrap is pretty much the definition of tut to me, but clearly others don’t agree 😂

Oh no, I’m sorry to say I think that sounds really stingy. Your stockings must be tiny socks to only fit a bath bomb and some chocolate coins. They’re only little, you sound like you’re relying on parents to give some excitement for to your children.

To be fair to JK, those were all main gifts, so 20/30 odd would be a lot.

I actually put quite a bit of time, thought and effort into dd's stocking and I do put a fair few small gifts in there. The mains are usually just from her ideas letter to FC- either one big main (bike or Barbie house), or 5 ish much smaller ones. I don't consider any of it to be 'tat' or 'padding'.

I wouldn't worry OP, I asked DS (5) to name what he had for Christmas last year and he could only name 1 thing and actually it was a gift from the year before. He couldn't remember anything else and he had alot.

This year is leaner but he does a have a very big stocking and this is filled with a mixture of fun stuff and practical stuff. As a kid I loved all of the silly stuff- pranks like snake in a can, snapping gum, Whoopee cushion. But on the practical side you can get bath bombs, colour changing bubble bath, bath slime, squirty foam soap, bath sprinkles for making potions - b&m and home bargains have them. Their favourite sweets/choc. Charity shops for kids books. Craft sets - again home bargains or b&m.

DS only has 3 presents under the tree from us but has gifts from other family members so maybe o presents in total. But there are about 25 things in his stocking some small some more expensive. To be honest where we live (abroad) they don't have adverts on the tv so it's not as if he's seen things to want. It's not since we came to the UK for a visit and all the adverts are on that he's been pointing out (lots of crap) stuff. But we don't have the space for more things so I've kept it small.

Christmas should be magical for children. What I noticed from the OP wasn't so much the lack of presents but the lack of magic.
The focus being on not wanting to store things or buy 'tat' and the refusal to buy the one thing DS has asked for, it just comes across as a bit clinical and not how I'd want my Christmas to be!
I do think there's a chance you may have disappointed children on Christmas morning. I think if you're only going to buy limited presents then maybe try and get the one they asked for? one that makes their eyes sparkle and their hearts sing.
And yes, as others have suggested put more in their stockings. They're only little once and you haven't got many more years of capturing that 'he's been' moment.
This is all assuming there isn't a financial issue behind your choices as it's not something you mentioned.