How is a “normal” Christmas Eve in the UK?

[Sillyquestion123]

for context I’ve been living in the UK for almost 17-18 years (have lost the count!) but I’ve never fully “assimilated” so many things are still somewhat foreign to me. I’m not even a Christian and where I come from the big day is the 24th and the 25th is a complete after thought of just eating left overs and watching TV.

We have a 6yo and a friend of ours invited us for drinks on Christmas Eve. It felt a bit awkward to me because:

a) she knows we celebrate on the 24th
b) we’d be getting our 6yo ready for Santa, etc..

however, she’s never been cultural aware and always points out how much she enjoys our food from a can/jar (no matter how many times I’ve told her it doesn’t resemble anything like I eat and would never even try it) and once made my birthday a celebration around football which I hate.

Anyway, I know I’m being precious, but considering she’s also not British I would have thought she’d be able to pick up these things a lot more easily.

Back to my question…. Would it be expected to go out for drinks on the 24th with a 6yo?

I’m very much aware of Christmas Day the question was Christmas Eve

What about the emergency services?
Those involved with TV broadcasts?
Those working in power stations keeping the electric on?
There's a 1001+ jobs that involve people having to work over the Christmas period so there is literally no way an entire country all does the same thing on Christmas Eve.

23rd - Christmas Eve Eve (yes some people celebrate this)

24th - Christmas Eve
25th - Christmas Day
26th - Boxing Day

Would it be expected to go out for drinks on the 24th with a 6yo?

You're overthinking this. Everyone does different things on Christmas Eve in the UK. It's not a bank holiday, so it can vary a lot.

Some people have drinks/parties for friends at home, some people go to the pub, some might go to the pantomime or the cinema or something, some might have a family night at home watching Christmas films in their pyjamas, some might go to a carol service, some might stay up late to go to Midnight Mass, some might be frantically preparing food for the Christmas dinner the next day, some might be travelling to relatives to stay over and get up with them on Christmas Day.

Your friend has done nothing wrong by inviting you. You would also be doing nothing wrong by politely declining and saying you can't make it. It's as simple as that.

Do you take everything literally?

I think it's pretty obvious that when the OP said 'everyone' she didn't mean literally every single person in the nation. You don't need to quibble.

A British person might casually say 'Everything's closed on Christmas Day in England', but only someone very, very literal-minded (or pig-headed) would accuse them of lying because hospitals are open.

@BauhausOfEliott to be honest I was being a bit sarcastic 🙂

If I was having a lot of friends over for drinks I would just invite people and they could come, or not. You’re giving this way too much thought - maybe she forgot what you do - does it matter?

I’ve heard/read that Christmas Christmas Eve is common in the Nordic countries.

I think my annoyance is that she tends to forget my preferences for years. For example, I’ve always said I’d never go back to Spain as I’ve experienced racism multiple times. Said it many, many times. I know she enjoys going there in holidays, and again after years I said I’d never go back even if someone paid me and only then she stopped mentioning.

There are so many different traditions and norms between Christian countries and most people form their own traditions and norms which i suggest you do rather than looking for a common norm. It doesn't exist! Merry Christmas 🎄

You don’t know any other people at all?! Sorry not the point but I am British and know people from all over in my circle - my closest non-British friends are from Lithuania, Pakistan and Zimbabwe. We all
mix in together and embrace each other’s traditions.

Anyway, sorry not the point.

Nope, not really! I’ve only ever worked at American companies so have always either socialised with Americans or with other expats. I work from home (and always have). So no, I don’t know any “proper” British people.

Sorry I was being being a nosy bugger - I am aware other people have different experiences 😂.

I am British and don’t consider myself ‘proper’ to be fair.

It doesn’t sound like this friendship adds much to your life if you’re upset she forgets your traditions and plans. If this is how she is generally then maybe have a word so she knows. I am really laidback so let lots slide as it doesn’t bother me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Christ alive you sound hard work. I think you're lucky you're getting any invitations at all!

Just say a polite thanks but no thanks.

Just don't go! You have your own Christmas Eve traditions. Do you even like this woman? You sound annoyed at her all the time. In Britain Christmas Eve is just another day. Some people stay at home, lots of people work, lots of people drink and get drunk. Have you noticed the pubs are heaving. As for your Christmas being secular. Yes most British people's Christmas is secular as well. Most don't give Jesus a second thought on Christmas. It's all about Father Christmas and nice food. You must have noticed in 17 years how non religious we are. Just turn the invitation down. Don't ruin your own Christmas to take your kids to a booze up because you were too awkward to say no.

Well, normal for me and my family was to spend the day finalising decorations, wrapping presents (with a couple of glasses of something), eating roast pheasant for dinner with roast potatoes and all the trimmings, then relaxing with a Christmassy show on TV (not a bloody film) amid the twinkling lights and a beautiful open fire. But each to their own.

And you've lived in the uk for 17 years but don't know any British people????

Get togethers on C Eve with kids was a staple part of our celebrations, ending about midnight, nowadays it’s a meal out and the pantomime …with grandkids too.

How is it the exception?

Then DON'T GO. It's not difficult not to attend something.

We take younger children to a Christingle service at about 3pm. They decorate an orange and the church nativity scene is completed with the baby Jesus. We then go home for tea and Christmas cake. Last minute Christmas preparations. Little ones to bed. We might have friends over for a drink before midnight mass. It’s very much a day when you can include friends as well as family.

Correct! My only close relationship (and real connection) to British society is my DH and MN!

hard to believe but it’s actually true!

Certainly not normal for me or mine, in all my living experience (44, native English, married to an immigrant and have 2 kids). DH is Portuguese and would celebrate 24th like you. I am practising Christian but wasn't brought up that way, still wasn't usual for us to go to a friend's on 24th eve but church or family would be fairly normal. Do what you feel comfortable and what you want for your 6 year old. Real friends will certainly understand, whatever your/their nationality.

None of us do. It's just an invitation for heaven's sake; just say thank you, can't make it.

Also Google mountain and molehill….