How is a “normal” Christmas Eve in the UK?

[Sillyquestion123]

for context I’ve been living in the UK for almost 17-18 years (have lost the count!) but I’ve never fully “assimilated” so many things are still somewhat foreign to me. I’m not even a Christian and where I come from the big day is the 24th and the 25th is a complete after thought of just eating left overs and watching TV.

We have a 6yo and a friend of ours invited us for drinks on Christmas Eve. It felt a bit awkward to me because:

a) she knows we celebrate on the 24th
b) we’d be getting our 6yo ready for Santa, etc..

however, she’s never been cultural aware and always points out how much she enjoys our food from a can/jar (no matter how many times I’ve told her it doesn’t resemble anything like I eat and would never even try it) and once made my birthday a celebration around football which I hate.

Anyway, I know I’m being precious, but considering she’s also not British I would have thought she’d be able to pick up these things a lot more easily.

Back to my question…. Would it be expected to go out for drinks on the 24th with a 6yo?

Lol you're obsessed with the Mexican food thing - a total non issue.

And you don't have to be 'puzzled', just say "No thanks Barbara, we've got plans".

Couldn't be simpler but you seem weirdly offended by this woman's lovely offer.

No normal at all. For people without children it can mean going to get drunk or going out to the theatre or for a meal- whatever floats their boat.

Anyone with children will have different traditions of their own. They sort of develop over the years. For us it’s always Santa and snowman pancakes for breakfast, going to the nativity service at York Minster, baking Santa’s cookies, constructing a gingerbread house, having a huge buffet for dinner then watching a Christmas film with hot chocolate before reading The Night Before Christmas and going to bed.

I usually go to an afternoon Christingle ( on my own) go back and wrap and sort presents ( no kids at home anymore) with Xmas music on - cook a very nice meal and have a drink and watch TV or have music in, occasionally a swift one early evening in the pub . Husband Fanny’s about stuffing cockerel and going for an hour or two with adult son to pub early evening

You’re already in the frame of mind that you’re annoyed by even being invited so there’s no chance you’ll allow yourself to have a nice time.
Decline, politely.

I don’t know I feel like after years of friendship they still don’t know me / get me

You sound like really hard work and like you are making this, and everything, all about you. Just say no if you have other plans, it’s not that deep. And neither is the salsa in a jar.

They were planning a Christmas Eve party. They’ve invited you. They may have even considered that you celebrate Christmas on that day but thought it better to invite you and you turn it down than to not invite you at all.

And, honestly, they probably couldn’t have won with you. It’s not about you. They are having a party. You’re invited. That’s it.

All families do it differently I think.

When my kids were young it was the Christingle service at Church in the afternoon and then home for dinner with grandparents joining us.

Then before bedtime we did a photo by the fire with a mince pie and glass of whisky for Father Christmas and a carrot for Rudolph.

These days it's just like any other day.

I think you're way overthinking this.

Lots of people have nibbles and drinks and a small gathering early evening xmas eve. We tend to go to family for a gathering and its just a chilled, excited quick drink and wishing each other merry xmas (we won't see them all on 25th). There's xmas songs, a couple of drinks, some festive small nibbles and we're out and home by 7:30pm ready to put the carrot and mince pie out for Santa. The kids enjoy seeing their cousins and getting excited about xmas.

Other people stay home and xmas eve is a cosy night in, calm and relaxing before the chaos of xmas day. It really is up to you!

Most people I know work Xmas eve (its a normal working day for most) so the little drinks and nibbles after work signal the start of xmas and its quite exciting!

You’re overthinking. Explain that it’s your Christmas Day tradition, so if she grew the day before, perhaps.

I think you're massively overthinking this.

We have gone to the pub on Xmas eve for years, we go around 3pm we walk there, take the kids for tea, walk home in the dark (around 6pm) looking at all the lights and feeling the excitement in the air, home for baths, pjs and bed. We always invite everyone we're around in the days/weeks before to join us, if they decline it's not an issue - it's our tradition, not theirs and that's fine.

Christmas eve can be pretty busy if you are celebrating on the 25th too, all sorts to organise if you are hosting or just cooking and presents to finish wrapping if you aren't that organised, then maybe a nice meal and an earlyish night to prepare for a long hopefully fun day on the 25th. I might or might not go depending on how organised I was and how late I was expected to stay. Just decline if it's not convenient.

Would it be expected to go out for drinks on the 24th with a 6yo?

There's no 'expected'. People who live in one country don't all do the same thing. We go out on Christmas Eve for dinner, the people next door don't.

Go out on Christmas Eve if you want, stay home if you don't. You decide 😂

Yeah I mean I come from somewhere where everybody did exactly the same on the 24th, complete standard no deviation. The 25th I think it varies.

That can't be true.
Some people must be working on Christmas Eve.

The norm is unless you work in retail, it’s half a day.

So by 2pm the latest you’re most certainly done.

the country doesn’t shutdown on the 25th either but by law, you get paid double, so I think that helps!

Yes we often did when mine were small, usually finishing by 9pm though. Typically it’s a buffet or canapé type food arrangement though when I host I’ve served non British food because we have enough of that on Christmas Day. Most people in Britain celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day so don’t blame her for forgetting your family tradition.

In some places it is bank holiday and retail etc can either close or open only till midday. Even 25th and26th large retailers can't open because it's bank holidays for example.

@Sillyquestion123. Half day isn’t the norm alas, a couple of hours early at most in my experience. Personally I’m pt these days so doesn’t affect me but dh has never got home before 3.30/4 and dsd worked until 4.30 (instead of 5.30) at her last job (now works shifts in essential services so irrelevant)

For me, it's a day off work so nothing in the morning apart from last minute present wrapping etc, nativity festival at church with DGC's at 4pm and then whole family around for a meal in the evening

I was talking about “my country” - we’re lucky that both my DH get the day off as our companies shut down for 2 weeks

Interesting that you say your friend isn’t culturally aware yet you’ve lived here for years and are still clueless about a Brit Christmas Eve

I would say the cultural norm in the Uk is to invite your friends for drinks if you’re having a get together but to completely understand if they can’t make it.

If I was having drinks I would definitely invite friends even if I knew they had other traditions just on the off chance they wanted to pop round for a bit.

Just say no if it doesn’t work for you!

Yes, and I made clear I haven’t “assimilated” I only have 2/3 close friends (including her!) and none of them are fully “British”.

my DH doesn’t care / didn’t have many traditions so it’s not like I’d know through him.

my “community” is my congregation and alas we obviously don’t celebrate Xmas!

When I’ve spent Christmas in another country, usually SE Asia, I’ve celebrated when they do - on Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day has been spent on the beach.

Cultural awareness is important when you’re living in a country with different cultural norms to where you’re from, after 17 years you really should be aware that we typically celebrate on Christmas Day. If you don’t want to go to your friends you can just say no.

FWIW, my Christmas Eve usually involves a lot of cleaning & wrapping, some food prep, a takeaway meal, some baileys and a Christmas film.