How is a “normal” Christmas Eve in the UK?

[Sillyquestion123]

for context I’ve been living in the UK for almost 17-18 years (have lost the count!) but I’ve never fully “assimilated” so many things are still somewhat foreign to me. I’m not even a Christian and where I come from the big day is the 24th and the 25th is a complete after thought of just eating left overs and watching TV.

We have a 6yo and a friend of ours invited us for drinks on Christmas Eve. It felt a bit awkward to me because:

a) she knows we celebrate on the 24th
b) we’d be getting our 6yo ready for Santa, etc..

however, she’s never been cultural aware and always points out how much she enjoys our food from a can/jar (no matter how many times I’ve told her it doesn’t resemble anything like I eat and would never even try it) and once made my birthday a celebration around football which I hate.

Anyway, I know I’m being precious, but considering she’s also not British I would have thought she’d be able to pick up these things a lot more easily.

Back to my question…. Would it be expected to go out for drinks on the 24th with a 6yo?

Is she inviting other people too? In which case ai would assume she is just inviting you so as not to appear rude, but does already assume you will have plans. We often have people over on Xmas eve, my brother very rarely attends as is usually busy but I always invite on the off chance. No one holds a grudge either way. Merely manners.

I wouldn't take offense at all, she will be busy and inviting a group of people most likely and not considering every families individual plans? We love socialising so dropping into a friends christmas eve for an hour would be lovely but if we had plans we would just decline and wish them a merry christmas!

Everyone is different on Christmas eve from my experience. Some have drinks and mince pies with friends, some have family dinners, some go to mass, some have parties, some do nothing.

We have a nice dinner (usually rack of lamb or steak). Then do a Christmas movie with the kids. But we wouldn't say no to going to a friends house for drinks and nibbles. Our DC are 8 and 4.

Pre children we would go out Christmas Eve for drinks with friends. Since having children it’s all about preparing, tracking Santa on the TV, watching films and getting ready for the big man’s visit. Everyone has their own traditions and you are entitled to your own, don’t feel bad for declining!

Yes I would.
As long as we were back early evening to do santa prep, I don't see why not.

We always go to church in the morning. Usually a walk after. Sometime we have friends around after and have a few drinks whist kings nine lessons is on in the background but they would be gone by 7pm. Or sometimes I meet up with friends at the pub after the you ger ones have gone to bed.

But you don't celebrate Christmas on the 24th, you observe Hanukkah which I thought this year was from the 14-22nd? So it would be unusual to have the party on the 24th. But it's not a religious event that she's hosting- it's just drinks. You can pop in for 30 mins and leave and do your family stuff. You may not be the only guests?

Well some people might choose to have drinks on Christmas eve and include you to be nice. But you can say thank you and decline!

Most people I know are at work on Christmas Eve so I've never thought of it as a day to do anything special.
I don't think there's a "typical" British Christmas Eve.
If you don't want to go for the drinks then don't.

So the 24th is the day we have the nice meal and family time. That is new for us. The 25th is my birthday lol so I don't want to cook and plan for left overs / cheese board and sandwiches and birthday cake.

I feel nice doing that after learning that different countries celebrate on different days anyway/ Its really not a big deal. Christmas eve was always more exciting for me.

As a non denominational Christian that doesn't believe Jesus was actually born on 25th dec... It doesn't really matter to me to be honest. Kids get gifts and family time all the same. Its just family time with time off work that makes it so good.

We like to shut ourselves away . Draw the curtains , light the fire , put on our pjs , and shut out the world . Play a boardgame , or watch t.v. whilst cracking open our Christmas food goodies . Much the same as your Christmas Day I should imagine .
Remember it's your Christmas , spend it how you like and if you don't want to do something then don't .

Can you explain the food in a jar thing a bit more, I don’t get it!

I really think you’re overthinking, it’s nice of her to invite you, bht if you don’t want to go and just chill at home, just tell her that.

I dont understand the big problem. You dont go, thats it.

Everyone has different traditions and things they enjoy.

When my kids were younger I would host a gingerbread making party and then we would go to the children’s mass at local church. Now they are older we go to London and go to the theatre and wander round looking at the lights after.

She’s trying to accommodate you. The thought is a nice one, even if the food isn’t!

Just politely decline and explain that the 24th is your Christmas Day.

Why is this year an exception? Why does her inviting you to Christmas Eve mean that you cannot get together otherwise? If you don't want to go, just say so. If I'm doing something, I'll sometimes invite people so that they feel included, even if I know it isn't how they'd normally celebrate - no expectations of hard feelings.

What you do on Christmas eve is totally dependent on your own family traditions and whether or not you have children etc.

In our house we spend most of the day baking mince pies, sausage rolls and dessert for Christmas day, then we might head out for a drink in the local pub and a meal and later it will be getting ready for bed so snuggly PJs on, a Christmas story and leaving mince pies and a sherry for Santa before trying to get DD to sleep early. Then we will wrap last minute gifts and leave the presents out for morning, fill DD's stocking and relax in front of the TV for a little before bed.

You sound a bit resentful of your friend who just sounds like she's trying to be kind and include you.

If you're going to someone else's on Christmas Eve, I would say that the main element of the experience for guests is that they'll be totally confused at some point!
There was a great Victoria Wood stand-up story where she has the quote (as if from the hostess when the guests don't know what's coming) of "Oh, we always sing Little Donkey out in the garden at midnight, it's tradition!"
For me, the highlight is having a big takeaway with house guests, this cemented in since my childhood. The British cookfest came the day after (and then however many days it took to eat through it up to the 29th). But many would find that not a feature of the 24th at all.

OP you’re massively over thinking this. DH is a nationality that celebrates Christmas on the 24th, so we have our main family meal on the 24th. Our friends all know this, but it doesn’t stop us being invited if they’re having Christmas Eve drinks or going to an event or whatever, because it’s nice to let people know you’d like them to be there, even if you know they’re unlikely to make it.

I don’t think they’ve forgotten that we celebrate on the 24th, nor that they’re trying to convert us in anyway way. Given you celebrate Hanukkah AND do Santa/Turkey then it’s possibly quite confusing for people you know, too.

We celebrate “Santa Day” if you want to call it that. As much as we get 8 presents it’s not the same experience, which is why I’m grateful my parents created a Santa only version of it so I didn’t feel like we missed out.

which is the tradition we now have with our 6yo…. As someone said we track Santa, watch a film, have hot chocolate, get the carrots / milk / cookies. And yes we have a big dinner (the only purpose is to have left overs for the next following days TBH).

if our son was smaller or older I wouldn’t mind as much but I think he’s the right age for some Santa magic

I'm intrigued by what the horrible food in a jar is OP? Please share!

It’s a normal working day.
I’m on call until 5:30pm, and utterly relying on my parents to look after my 4yr old until I get home and panic wrap the stocking,

She keeps saying how del paso enchiladas / guacamole in a jar are delicious etc… that’s been going on for years.

i finally snapped at some point when she asked what was in them for like the millionth time, as i said “I wouldn’t know as never had one, never will, and don’t know a fellow co-national who would ever eat them”.

Well that just sounds rude and patronising towards her, I’m surprised she’s invited you anywhere.

If a friend says ‘I like this Guacamole, what’s in it?’ then a polite and friendly answer would be something along the lines of ‘avocado, onion, tomato, garlic etc etc. It’s even better homemade though, would you like a traditional recipe?’.

(The above is basically DH’s stock response to being told how good the IKEA meatball sauce is…)

That’s because I’ve told her what’s in fresh guacamole millions of times (I always make) and have always explained that nothing beats fresh salsa and that it’s super easy to make.

i also explained , many, many times that the jar food is tex Mex at best and it has nothing to do with real Mexican food.

like I’ve said, it’s been a conversation that spans years and I always politely explain that, I wouldn’t know, but she always end up asking the same and even send photos of Tex Mex slop and tells me how amazing it is.

After years of explaining, politely declining eating it, etc…. I had enough that day