I wasn’t going to come back to the thread as I felt quite upset and shocked by it earlier. However, the morning has gone well on the whole, so to address a few points, (it may be a bit jumbled as I’ve just written points to respond to things as I’ve seen them, and I’m tired so forgive me),
As I said earlier, the oldest child saw a sign in our local shop yesterday about December 1st breakfast and asked if we could do it so it was instigated by the child not us.
The children are used to staying in our house, they visit for a weekend every couple of months with their parents and we spend some holidays together. They love my children, who have made them feel very at home, and as the oldest asked if we could do the special breakfast when they saw it on a sign at the shop, and I’d checked if the younger two would like to, I felt sure that it wouldn’t feel overwhelming for them and not a ‘circus’ to come down to this morning.
They eat healthy foods for the majority of the time, so no, I’m not going to stress about one ‘bad’ breakfast, where there were pancakes, fruit and milk included. Their mum was aware of what I was planning last night and was very happy with it. The children usually have a special breakfast on December 1st, which I only found out last night from their mum. She didn’t want to ask me to do it as she didn’t want to cause me any more work, and so hadn’t mentioned it until I told her the kids had asked if we could do it. She doesn’t post on social media so this just wasn’t something I knew they usually did and had been planning this year. See, not everyone does it to boast! Their mum does it quietly every year, and even I, as her best friend, didn’t know about it.
My friend is a lovely mum, a much better cook and host than I am, so she will definitely not struggle to ‘reproduce’ next year as someone so unkindly said. My friend is very kind and wouldn’t see this as some kind of threat to her motherhood as some seem to be saying. God, the lives and relationships some of you must lead to think the way you do! 🤯
No I am not American, but maybe I should move there because if this thread is what UK people are like, I don’t want to be here.
No, my kids won’t ‘see right through it’… whatever that is supposed to mean. We are a close family and our children are very secure. Maybe that is why they were so keen to help do this for others. No resentment, no jealousy, just nice kids. They fully threw themselves into it this morning, washing and cutting fruit, making pancakes, making it all look special and being generally lovely with the children.
Anyway, breakfast was lovely. My friend was able to FaceTime first thing and the children were excited to show mummy their breakfast. They ate well, pancakes, crumpets, fruit, milk and a bit of chocolate. Hardly terrible. We put some Xmas music on so thanks to whoever suggested that! They opened their advent calendars, found the elves in the Christmas tree and then happily played for a while. We have lots of animals and the older two love to help out so they helped clean and had some cuddles with them. Then we all went for a short walk with the dogs before my kids will head off to college shortly. The middle child has had a little cry, but my son has promised to play Lego with them later so that stopped the tears. We had a little chat about what is going on, had a cuddle which the dogs joined in with which lightened the mood and all is ok. We’re now relaxing watching a film with a hot chocolate. My partner is tidying up the remains of breakfast, before I attempt a bit of schoolwork with the oldest two. Phew!
For those who are ‘concerned’ about my ability to feed children a good diet, lunch will be a cheese sandwich and homemade soup, and dinner will be stew with mashed potatoes (their favourite). Yesterday they arrived to a Sunday roast at lunchtime, had boiled egg and soldiers for dinner, as well as apple and a glass of milk. Breakfasts will normally be a choice of porridge, Weetabix, eggs, toast, fruit, nuts and yogurt because they are foods we usually have and also what they have at home. One breakfast is not the full picture.
Also, last night and this morning after breakfast, as I’m a responsible person, all the children had their teeth brushed too, as they will each morning and night that they’re with us, I thought I’d add that for those that think I’m going to send them home with unbrushed and rotten teeth because they had one sugary breakfast.
As for social media, we don’t post photos of our family online, never have. I have TikTok, but never post, I just watch others, I don’t even have instagram. Even if I did, I obviously wouldn’t post photos of other people’s children on it so the comments about instagram are way off. I have taken photos for their mum of course, which the oldest requested I take, and I will share these with my friend at an appropriate time. She doesn’t post photos on social media either.
God this place has gone to shit. I haven’t even read the whole thread but the comments I have read are bad enough. I thought I’d be chatting about snowman shaped pancakes and advent calendars, with the ‘experts’ who have done this before, during the night when I couldn’t sleep. Not a brag in the slightest. I would never have imagined I’d be having to post this to justify my ability to look after a close friends children, my own children’s childhoods and my nationality amongst other things.
Anyway, thanks so much for the kind comments and to those who defended me. I have really appreciated it. It’s nice to know there are decent and kind people out there, although it’s absolutely crazy that the thread has turned into this, instead of an innocuous thread about a Christmas themed breakfast, on the Christmas board.
I’m not sure if mumsnet is for me anymore.
Apologies for such a long post.