Gift for young adult man with zero likes or interests

[hoarahloux]

My brother is 28 and doesn't seem to have any real interests as far as I can tell. We don't massively get on. No issues, but just nothing in common - I see him once or twice a year and have a fairly distant relationship generally. I asked him for any ideas and he said "don't know". He works but lives at home with our parents still.

I've crocheted everyone else in the family something (a hat for my sister, gloves for my dad, etc - things I know will be appreciated) but have no idea what he might like or want to wear! I bought him a scarf for Christmas last year, among other things. Obviously I should make him something but what? A hat as well? I'd never want him to feel left out. At the same time I know I'll get a box of chocolates as I have for the last 10 years.

So far I have a sock giftset and a brand of personal care products that I know he likes, but it doesn't feel like enough.

He doesn't sound interested, so I honestly wouldn't bother and would just get him something I've already got before. You can go for something like a gift card or a voucher, maybe a custom desk calendar with family photos or pictures of his pets if he has any, a box of posh chocolate, etc. Something you'd get a collegue, nice but not too much effort.

I know someone like this. I often wonder what went wrong with him. His Mother has kept him that way I think. He has very little confidence.

Google crochet reptile hammocks - he might like something like that?

Amazon voucher for the win

I'm significantly older than 28 but would love a cat eared beanie 🙂

Crochet gifts are pretty niche. If he's like most people, you'll be doing him a favour not giving him one.

It's not clear to me whether you feeling obliged to give him more is coming from things he says, or purely from you because you feel like you're giving everyone else more and should be closer to him because he's your brother. Either way it's fine to give him a gift of a similar ilk to that which he gives you i.e. you don't need to get him anything else

Reckon you need to accept he just doesn't want presents. He's telling you loud and clear. Probably wishes it would all stop so he could also stop the gift buying charade for people he basically has no relationship with.

If you feel you must buy something then get the fancy biscuits from M&S as someone suggested. I got a box last year that has a snow scene inside and outside, the biscuits were shortbread Christmas trees and the box lit up with lights in the houses and played Noel Noel whenever it was opened. Cost about £15. It's still way more effort than he's putting into you getting you a generic box of chocolates for £3.50 from ASDA.

Think you should look at why you feel the need to try to buy everyone's affection in this way, with multiple gifts and food treats for them. It's clearly a dysfunctional family and you don't enjoy spending time with them. I'd scale it right back. Citing the new budget and general cost of living meaning you have to tighten your belts. One small cheapish gift per person and that's it.

You aren't seeing it but your brother has cut loose. He may still show up to big events to keep the peace by not openly rejecting everyone, but he's essentially pretty much no contact with you all. That's why he tells you nothing about his life. You're still enmeshed in the toxicity (or you wouldn't be giving a damn about all these presents for people you have no real loving relationships with) and he doesn't want you in his life because of it.

That’s such a sweet idea!

My sister has a lizard, and he has his own little Santa hat and scarf for his annual festive photoshoot…

I don't really buy into the whole 'love languages' thing but for some people gift making/ buying /receiving is an act of love and they really put time and effort into getting it right and making it personal... but for some people the whole thing just feels like a massive chore and they wish they didn't have to partake.... it sounds as though you and your brother might be at opposite ends of the gift giving spectrum. Honestly, just save your effort, give him a token socks / sweets type gift and wish him Merry Christmas.

Crochet him a cactus in a pot, my gamer would like that