Gift for young adult man with zero likes or interests

[hoarahloux]

My brother is 28 and doesn't seem to have any real interests as far as I can tell. We don't massively get on. No issues, but just nothing in common - I see him once or twice a year and have a fairly distant relationship generally. I asked him for any ideas and he said "don't know". He works but lives at home with our parents still.

I've crocheted everyone else in the family something (a hat for my sister, gloves for my dad, etc - things I know will be appreciated) but have no idea what he might like or want to wear! I bought him a scarf for Christmas last year, among other things. Obviously I should make him something but what? A hat as well? I'd never want him to feel left out. At the same time I know I'll get a box of chocolates as I have for the last 10 years.

So far I have a sock giftset and a brand of personal care products that I know he likes, but it doesn't feel like enough.

If he only ever gets you a box of chocolates I'd say socks and personal care products is more than enough!

Just give him what you've already got.
If he isn't interested in anything then don't waste anymore money.

Fair point, I know. It'll be a hellish "family Christmas" with us all together opening each other's gifts - I just feel, as always, I should give more. It's like he never grew out of being the "little brother" only expected to spend his pocket money on presents.

If he says anything like "is that it?" say loudly and clearly "I asked you what you would like. I would have been happy to buy it. But you said you didn't know so no point complaining now".

Could you get him chocolates/biscuits too? Maybe he gets them for you as it's something he likes himself. M&S do nice food gifts.
He probably has some sort of interest such as gaming or reading/watching films, unless he just stares at a blank wall in his free time.

He'll be getting chocolates from my husband, and I generally do a bulk buy of sweet treats close to Christmas so everyone gets something like that.

He definitely has interests such as gaming, he just doesn't care to share them with me. He keeps reptiles but when I've tried to gift him items for his reptiles years ago they weren't suitable - which is fine, I'm fussy about toys and food for my pets too.

He won't tell me what is suitable though. I offered to return the unsuitable items to get something better and was refused. I didn't just buy random shit, I researched what his pets might like and bought from a reputable reptile supplier, not a pet shop. Would have had no issue returning them and giving him even a gift card, but he refused. This was 5 years ago or more. Just giving you an idea of how challenging buying anything for this man is.

Don't stress about making him a hand crocheted item! I too crochet, but there is no way my brother would understand the time, cost, effort etc of making a personalised item.

What you have already is more than enough OP!

IF you want something else:
-If he travels then leather luggage label tags
-Biltong or flavoured pork scratching snacks
-Jelly bellies or aldi's version which are very good (little jelly beans and each bean is a specific flavour- watermelon, toasted marshmallow, cinnamon, green apple etc)
-If he has a beard, beard oil
-If he drinks, a bottle of baileys or whatever his tipple is

It's only because I've casually made a handmade gift for every other member of my family. He's the only one currently not getting a crocheted item, so I feel bad. Maybe I'll do a cat-ear beanie, he might like that, and if he doesn't oh well.

Thanks for the suggestions. A beer giftset is probably a good idea. He doesn't travel and can't grow a beard! I didn't know about the aldi jelly beans - the cinnamon flavour is my favourite, thanks!

You could crochet him a lizard 😂

Why feel bad? He doesn't seem bothered about what you get him, or bothered about what to gift you. So stop being a martyr and just get him a tin of biscuits.

I really wouldn't go to the effort of crocheting him a cat eared beanie, genuinely I think it's a pretty niche bunch of 28 year old young men that would appreciate that, honestly that is giving crazy crochet lady vibes. Take him at his words and if you want to get him something more get him some tasty to eat of drink.

Or crochet the lizard a little coat 🦎 😃

These are the jelly beans I mentioned £1.59 a bag. I'd go with those rather than hours of crocheting him a hat!

www.aldi.co.uk/product/dominion-original-jelly-beans-000000000400448001

Crochet him a lizard or whatever he has if he's into reptiles.

I’d crochet him a reptile! I think that would be really thoughtful, he could keep it if nothing else.

If he's into gaming, would he like a voucher for an escape room? You could go with him and have lunch out and make a day of it? I've done this with my adult sons, also indoor climbing, doughnutting on a dry ski slope and segway at an outdoor activity place - would any of these appeal to him?

Not sure how I'm being a martyr, but it's a fair point - thank you!

Could you get him something reptile themed - a mug or t-shirt or keyring with his favourite reptile on it? It would be a personalised gift, at least.

Or a gift card to use in in game purchases in his favourite game, if there is this option? Or merchandise (t-shirt or similar) related to that game). Surely you can just ask him which games he is currently playing most - it's not an intrusive question. I am no gamer myself, but a few people in my life (including my daughter and the guy I am casually seeing) are. I find that while most gamers won't bore on about their gaming to people they suspect won't be interested, they usually seem delighted to be actually asked a little bit about it.

I mean, it doesn't sound to me like you should feel obliged to buy him more stuff than you already have, given he only gets you chocs. But haven't said that, only you know your relatuve financial situations etc. It's not always appropriate to match cost. My brother is way wealthier than me (like, by a significant factor) so naturally spends more. Conversely, I have friends who have a lot less than me, so I tend to spend quite a bit more on them than vice versa. We all love each other so there is no embarrassment or resentment about this.

This is such a lovely idea and I would love it, but no, these activities are not to his tastes. Nor is a day out with his sister.

If he enjoyed any kind of activities like this I'd have leapt at this suggestion. Thank you though.

Thanks for understanding. I've exhausted the reptile-themed items over previous years, lol.

Usually asking "what game are you playing right now" would not be an intrusive question, but for my brother it's different. I wouldn't be asking here if I hadn't tried to figure out his specific likes. I'm a gamer too, he knows that, but he's so intensely private that we aren't friends on Steam or other social media and any questions are met with stonewalling. I am interested in the same things as him! But we're 10 years apart in age and he clearly doesn't feel he can connect with me. I've tried, it's fine, I've accepted it. I'm not even certain what platform he games on, whether he uses Steam, Playstation, Xbox...

My brother is also into reptiles and has several as pets. One Christmas, I bought a gecko themed gift, but he pointed out that is wasn't an actual gecko because it had the wrong number of toes 😕

The socks are personal care products are fine. There's no need to buy or make anything else.
And pleae don't make a cat ear beanie. Why on earth would a 28 year old want that?

You don't know my brother. Thanks for your opinion!

Ah, you sound like a thoughtful sister who is trying her best! I would crochet him a Terrys Chocolate Orange holder or a simple bag to put some sweets into.

hahaha the Terry's Chocolate Orange Holder is the best idea yet, that's adorable. Thank you