Don't want my brother's dog at Christmas

[Keepoffmyartichokes]

Every year we host Christmas for both families, it's always a lovely day but a bit chaotic. This year my brother who has to travel about 40 minutes but due to sharing custody of his children only stays about 3 hours wants to bring his cockapoo. We don't want the dog in our house, we don't have pets, we have nice flooring we don't want scratching, nice furniture that we don't want to dog jumping on. It's a spoiled dog and not very well trained. My DS who is 13 said he doesn't want it there as it's jumpy and he's not keen. My MIL has had a knee replacement this year and is a bit unsteady still and I think it will cause stress for her as a trip hazard. But how do I tell my brother kindly without coming across as a dog hater.

Except it isn't how he feels at all. Some dog owners are reasonable and understand that not everyone feels the same way about dogs as they might do, especially when it comes to their own homes.

He was fine and agreed to leaving the dog at home, he will just leave a bit earlier so the dog isn't home alone for too long. Everyone is happy.

Exactly this. It’s not the same. There is no point imagining if you had been told your child couldn’t come because it’s not a child, it’s a dog with absolutely zero concept of Christmas or family. People equating dogs to children is 90% of the problem and as demonstrated, the brother was fine about it because most people realise it’s not the same thing

Your absolutely correct! Many of us prefer dogs to children....

Then one would ask really what you are doing on a parenting forum!

I didn't realise it was a binary choice. One can like children and also dogs, you know?

But it’s a bit weird to then go onto say you prefer them to children!

@azu

why clean up shit if I don’t have to?? For a parent who has brought me up? Sure. For a pet. No. It’s not compulsory. So I don’t.

@Toker

except dogs are NOT children. Not an equivalent comparison. If you love you dog as you say you do then you should be happy to make social sacrifices and stay home, snuggle up on the sofa for dog cuddles.

A child is a person a human being there is absolutely no comparison with a dog.
A dog is a pet and however much a dog owner wants to pretend that their dog is their child it isn't. And just because you consider it to be your family it isn't. My brothers child is my niece his dog is not related to me in any way.

I meant to say
Just because someone may consider the dog to be family it isn't my family

Agree - BIL has trying to push “dog grandad” with FIL and it just makes me cringe to high heaven

Are you actually comparing my son to a dog!! 🤣 My brother has 2 children and I can assure you be doesn't consider the dog a 3rd child. That would be bat shit

Erm, no one is trying to make you clean up the shit of your non-existent pet....💩

Good to hear cleaning pet shit isn’t compulsory. That’ll save on the poo bags!

Well, yeah, nooone is gonna do it thier bare hands! When I’ve had to do it, I used disposable gloves and poo bags

Absolutely not, you're hosting the whole thing at your house! Tell him to keep his poorly trained dog at home. The cheek of him to even ask. It's a dog it can stay home. I'm tired of this crap from dog owners. Not everyone thinks of animals like you do nor wants them near them. You've made that clear by having no pets. Just tell him he's invited but not the dog and if he doesn't understand that well don't come. These arsehole dog owners are getting far too cheeky demanding their nasty animals be allowed everywhere and anywhere. Time to tell them no.

Children grow up to do things in society and pay their way etc. A shitty arse animal just dies having scrounged as much as it can from whoever owns it. These absolute wallopers think the bloody thing loves them. It will love whoever gives it nice things. Animals are completely selfish (and that's ok that's how they're made to be because all they have is instinct to survive) They will eat your food and piss in your bed and think nothing of it. They don't even have the prefrontal cortex required to process complex emotions let alone love. What people think is love is simply resource guarding or comfort seeking for their own gain. I'm so tired of people being so devoid of true loving relationships that they think a dog or cat loves them unconditionally. It would be really sad if they didn't foist the things upon us and I'm just too sick of seeing babies killed by some breeds to care anymore. The general public are too stupid to own animals responsibly.

There is a woman I went to uni with who spends an extortionate amount of time preparing a Christmas dinner for her dog. She is single, no children. I think a lot of the time people are treating them like babies because they are devoid of proper human connection and this gives them a feeling of being needed and allows them to feel as though they can join in conversations around familial responsibilities when otherwise they would have nothing to contribute. It’s the same with my neighbour who has 4 dogs in a tiny terraced house - it gives him the illusion of a real family in the absence of a partner or children. It’s very sad really.

Children grow up to do things in society and pay their way etc. A shitty arse animal just dies having scrounged as much as it can from whoever owns it

Well I think people exploit pets for their own emotional wellbeing, I am not sure the pets do the scrounging!

But I think it's offensive to equate pets with children. Pets are pets and children are children.

I like other people’s dogs in their own homes or out and about. We are not dog people.

however I love my cat so much. But I have to beg for attention as I am well aware this is a hotel for her and she sits on my lap because it is warm and suits her not because she loves me. In fact sometimes she would quite like it if I just left her alone to sit.

if I died, she would probably eat my face to survive!

people are now going too crazy as pet owners Losing a pet is hard but it no way compares to the pain I felt losing my baby. Yet I’ve had some num nut say they know how I feel because their budgie died young.

now dogs are being allowed everywhere and they are not trained which is my issue. I’ve seen impeccably behaved dogs lay quietly in noisy pubs and then others just bark all the way through the quiz everytime someone walked past it.
At this point my friend and I started barking too and the idiots kept giving us dirty looks 😂

So sorry for the loss of your baby 🌷

OP made it quite clear that the dog is poorly trained.

Even if it wasn't, they are well within their rights to just not want a dog, ANY dog, in their home.

As for name calling kids for their fears, well, bit of a cunt move, hun.

It is not cruelty to animals to not own a dog and don't want them in thelr house. It is cruelty to take a puppy from their mother and bring them up as a slave on a leash that needs to obey you though. It is dog owners who are cruel to animals, dog owners who mistreat them, abuse them, buy and discard them because it was too hard etc. So the psychopaths would be dog owners. All psychopaths I've met has had dogs. They love to have a dog as their extended arm, an eternal Yes-man puppet and someone to totally control.

The OP said that her brother agreed not to bring the dog, it's all sorted pages ago.......

Since when did an OP update stop MNers cancelling the cheque until the thread was full?😂

There was a moment when I thought we would see this less with the introduction of https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5439034-dont-want-my-brothers-dog-at-christmas?postsby=Keepoffmyartichokes

However obviously the desire to project a completely different story onto an OP is too much to resist.