Don't want my brother's dog at Christmas

[Keepoffmyartichokes]

Every year we host Christmas for both families, it's always a lovely day but a bit chaotic. This year my brother who has to travel about 40 minutes but due to sharing custody of his children only stays about 3 hours wants to bring his cockapoo. We don't want the dog in our house, we don't have pets, we have nice flooring we don't want scratching, nice furniture that we don't want to dog jumping on. It's a spoiled dog and not very well trained. My DS who is 13 said he doesn't want it there as it's jumpy and he's not keen. My MIL has had a knee replacement this year and is a bit unsteady still and I think it will cause stress for her as a trip hazard. But how do I tell my brother kindly without coming across as a dog hater.

Keep the dog on his/her lead. What possible harm can be done in a few hours?

You are massively exaggerating the impact of having a dog in the house for a few hours. Your kid sounds like a wet wipe, not able to cope with a small dog for a few hours just because it might jump. A less spoilt kid that age would be delighted to take the dog out for a walk

Bloody hell dog lovers are rude.

You tell him straight he is more than welcome but no dogs, stick to your guns let him make the choice, you don't want a dirty animal making your nice home smell, dogs are dirty and smell.

Seems a good compromise, because surely it would be cruel to leave the dog outside (it's often freezing on Christmas day, and yes some dogs live outside, but every summer socials go mad about dogs being too hot because they're not used to it in the UK, yet some people seem to think it's fine to leave a dog that's used to being warm either outside or in a freezing car). When we looked into fostering a dog, the charity said they shouldn't be left alone for hours either, and from the info it sounds like the brother would have to leave him alone for a long time if he's not brought in.
Another option could be a crate/carrier, OP? Then the dog is safe and comfortable, but MIL etc will not have to worry about him jumping.

When did people start taking their dogs everywhere? The dog will be fine at home if exercised and toileted before he goes. A forty minute drive is nothing, he could easily go home and let it out if he feels he must.

You don’t have to be kind about it OP. Just say, sorry, it’s not a dog friendly occasion, too much chaos, dog is not invited.

Everywhere = your sister’s house?
How come you’re all so uptight?

Reading these reactions, I am horrified! Since when have dogs been considered almost vermin! I am a dog-lover and to me they are absolutely part of the family. There doesn’t seem to be any give or take here. Give the brother & his dog a break, you’ll all be surprised!

Clearly in the minority here but - Its Christmas - Chill out. The dogs a small breed and the damage excuse is thin - A good dog owner wouldn’t let that unlikely scenario happen- it’s just a few hrs - he can be in a safer room -? or hall surely there can be a better compromise during the season of goodwill. It about friendship / family etc.

Would you accept the dog in a crate and being let out into your garden?
Alternatively, get a cat and then say no, as Fido would scare it etc.

Who’s uptight? Not everyone wants a dog around and it’s the OP’s house so she gets to say no. She doesn’t need to tiptoe around his feelings, there must be many places where he can’t take his dog, this is another one.

There is some strangely entitled thinking involved here.

There is a frail relative and child scared of the dog in the party. That should be the end of discussion about the dog coming. And still, I believe there really are people who would push on this, but would accept the cat argument. Strange, isn't it?

And it is weird, how many posters are trying to get the dog in the door (in a crate, garden, ..). It is a dog-free home and dog-free garden. That's a rather binary status.
If the OP gives up, it would be an invitation to push the dog further.

Maybe the OP doesn’t consider her brother’s pet part of the family. I know DH and I don’t consider BILs dog part of “our family”. They are welcome to if they wish but we don’t consider it part of our family any more than we do FILs chickens

But why?
It is a dog-free home and they don't want animals in their house.

Me barmy ?! I never suggested having a horse in the house! My point about dogs and wars was about them being nicer than humans and having a reason to exist as part of useful society! I think your logic just disappeared up your own trouser leg love!

I had a much loved dog for years. My attitude was if you don’t want to be around my dog, don’t come to my house, because that’s where she lives. It would not have crossed my mind to be so rude as to take her to someone else’s house.

Wow calling my kid spoilt and a wet wipe! You don't know him, he doesn't like dogs and he doesn't have to. Name calling kids is not on!

I adore my dogs and they have free run of our house. But I never take them to anyone else's house apart from my sister's who lives on the other side of the country, who we stay with, has dogs, masses of space, huge garden and a downstairs room we can stay in with our dogs (hers sleep downstairs, ours sleep with us). I will take them on dog walks with friends with dogs, but even then I don't expect them to 'host' my dogs in their houses. Whilst they are not 'banned' from my parent's or my ILs, they don't have dogs and are both 'shoes off' households, so we just don't take them. It's never been raised, we've never asked to bring them - and they've never asked us not to. If someone is hosting, people know we will only leave the dogs for x amount of time, again, never been an issue. Surely you would ask if it was OK to bring the dog and accept it if the answer was no, and work round that? If you really can't leave the dog for the minimum length of time you would need to be there, then you don't go! That is what you take on when you take on a dog! We tailor holidays, our jobs, our hobbies - everything, around us having dogs, just as we did with children. For us, it is worth it for the joy that our dogs bring us.

This is ridiculous. I don't take my cats to my mothers everytime I see my family for a few days. None of them have or want animals. I put them in a cattery or get a cat sitter in. He can put the dog into kennels for a day. He can book for Christmas if he books early.
I put my old girl into a cattery with the kitten (they get on) because she needs supervision all day at her age and is calm if her friend is with her.
A dog will get frantic if its left for hours and I'd panic if I thought my animals could get into trouble if I wasnt at home.

Tell him no and that's that.
Dog people can be unbearable, and fail to understand not everyone wants to deal with their animals.

I've spoken to my brother who understood and will come round for dinner but leave a little earlier that planned, it's all good. His dog scratches at furniture so he understands. Thank you for the feedback, good and bad. I have no issues with people judging me and my decisions, but all those calling my child names need to have a long hard think about themselves.

Absolutely a mature dog can be left for 8 hours

What an awful thing to say about a child. Maybe you should be on dogsnet not mumsnet.

Only read the title OP and have already decided YANBU. Uninvite If its a dealbreaker.

My daughter has a cockapoo. She works for 5 hours a day, travel time half hour each way......she manages just fine with dog staying home alone. He sleeps lol. Tell your brother sorry but no.