Don't want my brother's dog at Christmas

[Keepoffmyartichokes]

Every year we host Christmas for both families, it's always a lovely day but a bit chaotic. This year my brother who has to travel about 40 minutes but due to sharing custody of his children only stays about 3 hours wants to bring his cockapoo. We don't want the dog in our house, we don't have pets, we have nice flooring we don't want scratching, nice furniture that we don't want to dog jumping on. It's a spoiled dog and not very well trained. My DS who is 13 said he doesn't want it there as it's jumpy and he's not keen. My MIL has had a knee replacement this year and is a bit unsteady still and I think it will cause stress for her as a trip hazard. But how do I tell my brother kindly without coming across as a dog hater.

Not in your own home on Christmas day you don't.

You sound lovely....

True. I was responding to a person who was whining dogs are smelly and irritating and allowed everywhere these days. Of course you can draw the line at your own home, but complaining that dogs are allowed in some shops or cafes, just because you don't like them, or because you believe they're not hygienic enough to be allowed, is daft imo. They're a part of life. Dog haters will just have to deal with it.

I complain about that because my son is terrified of dogs which means those places are now limited for us. He can't get away from dogs, they are everywhere and it is awful for him.

When we had a dog we would take him everywhere but if we thought about his welfare. and sometimes he was better off at home watching christmas movies and in his bed. we would leave earlier if we wanted. it wasnt liked by other family members but
it was a compromise. Any food leftover was a treat for him.

I had the whole top of my head ripped off by a dog when I was 5 years old. I had extensive surgery to reattach it and I still have the scars. He was “daft as a brush”, “wouldn’t hurt a fly” until it nearly killed me. I am terrified of dogs, despite loads of therapy. I don’t hate them. I’m sure most are lovely but I’m not prepared to put myself in the line of fire by being around one again. I wouldn’t want one in my house. It’s cheeky as hell to presume that people would welcome your ANIMAL into their homes. It’s not your child. Your children don’t lick their arses and then slobber everywhere.

My DS is allergic to dogs. Work know this, but one of his colleagues regularly brings her dog in, and tells him to take an antihistamine. It’s disgraceful that her weird need not to be parted from her pet for a few hours trumps my son’s right to a working environment that isn’t harmful to his health. The world has gone mad.

I’m so sorry for your son - has he lodged a complaint? People don’t seem to realise that after a certain level of exposure taking an antihistamine doesn’t really touch the sides. I can tolerate being around dogs for an hour or two with antihistamine but once it gets to longer than that I start to feel genuinely unwell. It’s not just itchy eyes, it’s a tummy ache, scratchy throat, tight face, headache and it can last for a day or two afterwards. I’ve taken 4 “one a days” before and still felt utterly dreadful after prolonged exposure so it’s not like I haven’t tested the theory. To an allergic person, the atmosphere feels “doggy”.

No - dogs don’t become other people’s families!! It’s a pet!

You don’t. Life is too short.

Would you be that rude to her face or are you just another troll? Her, her husband and son don't want a dog, that they know to be quite badly behaved, running around getting on their nerves on Christmas day, but are so thoughtful that they've really discussed it before just saying no. Her son doesn't sound like a wet wipe - the only thing we know about him is that he doesn't want the dog there!
Dogs are gorgeous and fun, I love them. But they can also be annoying, noisy, take food, cause damage and get underfoot. I find it absurd that it's even a consideration to take your dog to someone else's house on christmas day!
I think some dog owners are actually the wet wipes - worrying about leaving them alone for a few hours?! I think if I were a dog, I'd much prefer to be left free to roam in my own home and play with my toys for a few hours, than left in a strange garden in December or locked in a crate in another room. That sounds worse!
The poor boy has done nothing but reply to a question and strangers are calling him names on the internet. Shame on you!

I was bit whilst out of the house minding my own business by a cockapoo style dog. Huge painful bruise and I called police as out of control dog. I never used to be nervous of unknown dogs but now I don’t trust any so called friendly dog that comes bounding over.

you don’t know what a dog will do in an unfamiliar environment with lots of people about.

dog owners need to train their dogs properly to be left alone for a few hours. Pre Covid there wasn’t as much WFH like now and dogs coped.

saying the kid is a wet blanket is disgusting. You are allowed to be comfortable in your own home.

plus there have been other posts on MN over the years where people have allowed dogs into their pet free home and something’s been trashed and the owner refused to pay to fix it.

You often see dogs with tiny specks of dried shit on the fur around their arseholes. Gross. Don’t want that in my house.

Seriously? People have literally died from being mauled by dogs?!

You do that. I don’t think your family will be grieving.

Yes she does. Some of the nicest people I know don’t want dogs in their house. And some of the worst psychopaths have dogs. Hitler loved dogs.

Yeah, this site is called Mumsnet and still nasty people who hate children and replace them with pets register and spread their shit around. I grew up with a dog and I loved her, because I was a child, but my God, the FREEDOM to not have dogs and have to get sitters everytime you want to go somwhere, the walking in rain, early mornings, late evenings, the barking, the smell, the constant shedding etc.

You seem very informed 😂but have missed mentioning that cruelty to animals - including dogs - is an indicator of psychopathy, and how many serial killers started off....ownership of dogs is not indicative of loving dogs. The capacity to love another living being shows empathy and compassion, not sociopathy/psychopathy.
I'd love to see your evidence on 'some of the worst psychopaths have dogs', and how many of the 'worst psychopaths didn't have dogs'.
Is this along the lines of 'Hitler was a vegetarian therefore all vegetarians are fascists'? Great logic there, love it. You are both lovely AND bright!

New study proves pets increase human life satisfaction and wellbeing - News Centre - University of Kent

The dog lovers on here sound a LOT happier than you do! :)

@azu

if I had to pick dog shit up daily then my mental health would be worse, not better.

@Keepoffmyartichokes glad you have sorted this- I agree with you 100%.

We moved into a new house and had scraped and saved for new furniture/ floors and visiting friends (arranged 2 weeks before) messaged on the afternoon asking if they can bring little Billy along, he won’t be any trouble… little Billy isn’t any trouble as he gets what he wants which is to lay all over sofas or beds and run around as he pleases. It was so awkward but I was adamant the dog wasn’t welcome and said politely I’d rather not (I’m not a dog person at all) and they cancelled !

Glad I was honest though and it sounds like your DB is decent enough to understand and work with you which is great.

FWIW I agree with your son!

However if it were a cat……… bring 10!

Yes, it's a massive sacrifice! All those awful jobs we have to do when we share our lives with others - definitely not worth it 😂I assume you have a cleaner/nanny/someone to look after elderly relatives/to take out the rubbish etc. etc. etc. Terrible toll on the mental health otherwise.

I have a dog. All my friends have dogs. When we hosted Xmas with them we asked them to leave their dogs at home as it would be chaos. Everyone was very happy to. No big deal.

My stepdaughter has a similar dilemma she goes to her in laws and they don’t care for dogs so we take him. He just settles fine we actually take him overnight, there might be a friend who won’t mind looking after the dog for a few hours?

Why couldn't they stay in their own house. Also no is the answer you give to them and anyone else asking.

Imagine how you would feel if you were told that he didn't want your children in his house. This is how he will feel. That dog is part of his family. Love me love my dog. I have family who don't like dogs. I haven't visited them for 20 years. It's a no brainer for us.
Interestingly it was ok for my Mum to turn up with her three dogs but that courtesy doesn't extend to nephews!