Don't want my brother's dog at Christmas

[Keepoffmyartichokes]

Every year we host Christmas for both families, it's always a lovely day but a bit chaotic. This year my brother who has to travel about 40 minutes but due to sharing custody of his children only stays about 3 hours wants to bring his cockapoo. We don't want the dog in our house, we don't have pets, we have nice flooring we don't want scratching, nice furniture that we don't want to dog jumping on. It's a spoiled dog and not very well trained. My DS who is 13 said he doesn't want it there as it's jumpy and he's not keen. My MIL has had a knee replacement this year and is a bit unsteady still and I think it will cause stress for her as a trip hazard. But how do I tell my brother kindly without coming across as a dog hater.

It isn't spoilt to be afraid of dogs (or spiders or the dark etc). It's a fear, it's perfectly normal for some children to be afraid of dogs.

My child is afraid of dogs too after a particularly bad experience with one who hurt him.

There's no way I'd put a dog before my own child's comfort. Especially on Christmas day.

I’ve got a cockapoo and I absolutely adore him, but, when people tell me they don’t want a dog in their house, I don’t take him & I visit for a very short time and get home to him without leaving it too long. It’s one of the compromises of having a dog.

Again, oP never said her son had a fear of dogs. She said he "wasn't keen." Let's ban everything teenagers aren't keen on lmao.

Could he borrow a crate and keep it in there in the kitchen or hallway? Come earlier and walk it at yours then put it in the crate with a chew toy. Or leave it at home for the time with a good walk and toys and soothing music.

Why should everyone's Christmas be based around a dog?! Why can't dogs be left for 3 hours or so? What do you do when you go to work? It won't work having it in the house, you've listed some valid reasons and that's that. It's his responsibility to teach his dog...maybe he should start leaving it for gradually longer periods of time so it won't be such a shock and with a good long walk and lots of love and cuddles before and after, it will be fine. You focus on having a lovely Christmas and all the hard work and expense you go to every year hosting, without any guilt about the dog!

I would just say,

‘Hi Bro, looking forward to seeing you on Xmas day. We’ve been chatting, and, all things considered, please leave (cockapoo) at home. He’s lovely but it’s going to be chaotic enough as it is. See you soon.’

We have a Cavapoo and she is left for a few hours some days. DH works from home mostly but sometimes not. She’s fine and she just sleeps. Not all dog owners are home all of the time.

Don't feel bad about not wanting the dog there. Especially if it is not well behaved. What I would suggest though, dont say the dog can stay in the garden. It won't, it will cry and bark until it gets back in the house with all of you. And the dog is not your problem really after all. It is for your brother to find a solution. Just something in the lines. I am sorry but the day will be too hectic and stressful for everyone including the dog , so he needs to stay at home - is enough. And stick to your guns. Your house your rules!

No one says ban the dog. I asked him what his preference was as he's not keen on dogs. It's his house and his Christmas too. Why should the needs of a dog be put before him in his house. He's not spoilt he's a great kid and was honest with what he wanted. Like I said earlier, I have no issues with getting grief on here but anyone blaming a child or calling them names needs to have a long look at themselves.

The dog is his family though, so also part of yours.

I imagine this will cause the same problem as if Rover is on a lead; constant badgering "when can be be let out".

If he's not well trained, he's probably not crate trained either, and would bark his silly head off the whole time he's crated.

Just tell him straight, you're sorry but no. You don't want your MIL possibly falling over the dog for a start. Plus the dog would probably get excited with all the people there and be bouncing off the walls! And trust me on this, the dog would be trying to steal food! My dog is well behaved normally and I used to host Christmas. Every year without fail (no matter how hard we tried) he'd be away with slices of roast beef or turkey!! It's stressful enough cooking and hosting without watching what a four legged bizzum is trying to get up to! 🤣

It's his house and Christmas day. OP is going to put him first over a dog.

Sounds like her brother is absolutely fine with the dog staying at home anyway, he'll just leave slightly earlier which is perfectly reasonable.

COVID made this so much worse.

And yet nobody dies from it. Amazing.

I'd rather have a Rottweiler than a cockawhatever in my house tbh 😂 The former is probably going to be trained, at least 😂

That said, I'm not a fan of other people's dogs in my home, generally. Their house rules are likely to be different to mine, and I don't often take my dog to other houses, either - same reason. DB sounds a bit entitled tbh. It'll do him good to be told no. Might even inspire him to train the bloody dog.

I love tigers but I don't want one in my house.

I love horses and dolphins, as well. Also don't want them in my house.

Would you like me to list some other animals I love that I don't want in my house?

@Emma6cat

some of us spend a lot of money on our homes to make them look nice 🤷‍♀️ and don’t want some smelly, hair shedding dog that we didn’t choose to have in our home.
nothing wrong with being house proud!

No. Family are people. Animals are pets.

If someone wants to treat a pet as a member of their immediate family then that’s up to them. But they don’t get to impose that “family” relationship on others.

This gives me hope! We don’t like dogs in our house and despair of the lack of understanding of this by some family members. (Eg they got another relative to ask if they could stay at ours with their dogs whilst we are away).

No it’s just irritating and smelly.

These comments about your kid are disgraceful. My son is AuDHD and terrified of dogs. Even if he wasn't AuDHD, like you say, that's his house. Are these dog lovers or people haters?

My cousin brings her massive dog to my house now and then but the difference is it is incredibly well trained, no jumping, does as she's told, doesn't chase my cats, goes and lies down when told. Training is everything. Most dogs now aren't trained and run amok. No dog should be jumping up on people.

@AmanWi

na, she doesn’t want to so she isn’t. OP has free will and she doesn’t want dog
all dogs smell for a start - she doesn’t want that in her lovely home

A good dog owner would train his dog.

I'm a dog person. I wouldn't have this guy's dog in my house at Christmas 🤷‍♀️ Additional stress not needed.

So are some people 🤷‍♀️

You have to tolerate some things you don't like, so other people can be happy, and I'm sure other people tolerate some stuff so you can be happy. What a nice world we live in.