ideas for friend (50) for Christmas

[myoldcauliflower]

previous gifts have included:

1 her fav branded face products. This was met with ''I've already got loads of that''
2 A v small bottle of some branded and expensive beauty product she had always wanted to try (along with other gifts too). I couldn't afford a full size bottle. This part of the gift was never thanked or commented on. I thought she might have bene a bit 'wow, have always wanted to try this''. But nope,
3 A bag to which she replied ''I already have that''

Budget is up to £100. No beauty or cosmetics, she has already declared that for Christmas. She has lots of jewellery. She has no hobbies so no books/cooking stuff/foody gifts/ booze gifts/gift experiences.

I'm totally stuck

She sounds ungrateful. I wouldn't be going to £100 worth of effort. If you must do a gift I'd do a token one and spend the rest on a nice treat for yourself

She sounds like my sister, who I thankfully no longer need to buy for. I wouldn't bother as it sounds like nothing will ever be good enough.

The best gift for her would probably to not exchange gifts at all. She's doing you a favour by not pretending to be happy and grateful when she's not.

Why don't you just go for a meal or drinks instead? Or exchange little tokens instead of spending such a large amount of money.

Yep I’d say let’s not do gifts this year let’s go out for a nice evening, get some fizz and put the gift money towards a taxi home so you can both enjoy a drink.

I don't actually want to spend this much on her. It's her expectations. I know for a fact she looks up all the prices of gifts that friends have got her. Lets just say that that, in my mind, she changed the flavour every so slightly for gifting this year through she probably doesn't even realise her actions/decisions have done this. I really feel like the cost of the gift and how much thought has gone into it, is a huge factor for her.

Does she gift you £100 worth?

Just because she expects that doesn't mean you have to do it.

I'd definitely put a stop to it.

Nothing or a generic voucher

Just text her and say that you’re cutting down on gifts this year in order to have a greener Christmas. She sounds like she will be unhappy whatever you get and £100 is a lot of money.

She's not really a friend if you can't talk to her about this is she?

What about lunch and a shopping day where you each buy your own present?

The only thing missing is the 'surprise' element which doesn't seem to be working anyway.

Sounds a complete pain. What does she get you? Does she spend £100? Agree with PPs, suggest going out instead or stopping gifting

I'd donate £100 worth of gifts on her name to something like the Tesco Angel Tree, or similar.

You'd feel good, and a few kids would feel the benefit of gifts at Christmas.
She's too impossible and , this way, you'd be doing something worthwhile.

Personally I think £100 on a friend is ridiculous; my friends and I spend £20 on each other and receive the gifts gratefully.

Just tell her you are cutting back on gifts this year to save the environment and not to buy you anything.
As a matter of interest what does she buy you?

That is a lot of money to spend.

For my friend, I know her interests and hobbies. I've bought her some (practical) memorabilia from a film she likes. I went to Etsy for those. Yeah, cost quite a bit, £30 odd.

Pot plant(s).
nice mugs (hand made)/ vases etc - get from a Christmas fair/market & she cannot check prices

Please do yourself, and your purse, a favour and stop buying for this ungrateful mare. She really doesn't deserve it, and you don't need the stress

This is entirely pointless! It doesn’t sound as if the woman even likes you. She certainly doesn’t feel any warmth towards you with regard to gifts.

You need to stop. Doesn’t matter what reason you give. Just find your backbone and stop.

I would tell her that you're reigning in Christmas spending on account of the cost of living crisis and won't be doing gifts outside of the family this year.

£100 is an outrageous amount of money to spend on a friend, sorry. Unless you're all very wealthy?

This was my thought on reading the OP too!

Ok, you sound like the place I used to be in with a close 'friend'. Basically, I one day woke up to the fact that she was effectively controlling me by her emotional reactions so that I always met her friendship 'standards' . I then realised that I did not have this sense of anxiety with other other friends that I may get something wrong, like I did around her.

It was such a relief to finally exit this 'friendship'. Coercive control happens in friendships too OP. Break Free!

I'm sorry, but in what way is she your friend?

I wouldn't give her anything!

What does she get you?

Charity gift donation to pay for a village to have running water installed or similar via Oxfam

This person isn't your friend OP. I'd give her a card with sweet FA money in it!
Does she give you £100 worth of gifts too???

If you insist on something:

• Stuff a rat. https://afieldguide.org/workshops.html
• Bird feeder with seed/suet balls
• Voucher to a restaurant/afternoon tea

She sounds like someone I'd get an amazon voucher or nothing