Will DD be heartbroken if Santa doesn’t bring requested gift?

[underthewestway]

My DD5 has asked for a huge plastic Disney princess dollhouse from Santa. She is not going to get one, partly because I had already got most of her presents and this is a reasonably last minute swerve, partly because I baulk at paying so much money for a huge pile of plastic that doesn’t do anything and experience suggests won’t get played with, but mostly because we just don’t have the space for it atm.

but I feel awful and am worried she is going to be upset at not getting what she wants. I can still remember being that age and wanting things grown ups viewed as rubbish! I have got her a load of Disney animator dolls and am hoping that will be enough distraction. But does anyone with more experience of this have any words of wisdom?

Santa might not bring you everything you ask for, and only brings small presents anyway. The Christmas list is a list of ideas, not demands! That's what we've told our not-quite-4-year-old anyway.

@ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe

Dd got a curlimal from someone last year and loves it

I actually think this is a good time to start to manage expectations. There's a bunch of reasons to not get a present, can be space, money, appropriateness... and frankly the knowledge that they won't use it enough to validate the expense!

My son (7) wrote to Santa and asked for a pet spider and and a pet snake. We have snakes so that's an easy out. Spider I'd get but I don't think he really understands the care behind them etc. Anyway, that's a big ol' no!

I asked my son right now and said "she only just decided but it's too late, how can her mum help her feel better?", and he said "ask her to write a note to Santa, and that Santa probably had to feed the elves and reindeer, and if you don't get it, ask Santa if you can get it next year instead."

Personally I'd go the route of "you don't get everything on your list, lets look at your list together so you can be reminded of other things you like too". I did something similar b/c I wanted to make sure I hadn't forget anything and I HAD! It just arrived on Friday (thank goodness for Amazon!) so that's a catastrophe avoided.

I think it is a good opportunity to reinforce that we don't get everything we want while she is young enough that Christmas expectations are not set in stone.

Also does Father Christmas bring all her presents ? He just brings the stocking here which avoids all these awkward scenarios and the stocking doesn't have any "requested" presents - they come from us which means we covered the "you won't get everything" pretty much as soon as she understood the whole gift concept.

Fc doesn't bring pets or animals ever

Agreed, far too cold 🥶 on the sleigh and they'd poop 💩 on the other gifts 🎁

Or try and jump off 🥲😂

Last year my five year old announced on Christmas Day that she'd been secretly hoping for a purple unicorn onesie and was terribly disappointed Santa didn't get her one.

She'd literally never mentioned it before so poor Santa had no chance.

Which is to say, that however hard you try you can never meet all your children's hopes!

(I bought her one a few months later for her birthday and she seemed completely unbothered).

Yay, so pleased you bought the house. Hope she adores it on Christmas morning 🥰

I got a Mr Frosty when I was 5, it didn’t work but I adored it

I'm sorry but I would get her it. I know the one you mean and I've got it for my child some years ago. She's 5 and it's not that you can't afford it or that it's unavailable. I'm sorry but I would. You got her some dolls and she's imagining them living in it. Who would want to disappoint their child at Xmas if no money worries.

Your son sounds ace 😆

Well done op I'm glad you're getting it her, she will be so happy.

Yes note for next year, do list before December!
We do that in our house- I get mine to go through the toy catalogue and mark what they like and when there's something similar marked I point out this and say Santa will only bring 1. When lots of expense is ticked I remind Santa can only spend so much on each child.

Happy ending here though!

This reminds me of the Christmas my Dd (now an adult) very late in the day started hankering for a Tweenies play set - basically the size of a small suitcase that folded open. I was similarly about this toy.

The internet was not what it is now & it was touch and go if we could get one & get it delivered on time - we were also travelling by plane to visit family so not the easiest thing to conceal!

We told her that it was a very popular toy that year & Santa might not have enough for everyone that wanted one.

We did get one just in time & it turned out to be something that got played with a lot & handed down to siblings, so I hope your Dd gets as much enjoyment from her gift.

And yes, letters written early are the way to go in future!

"It's too late now, he's had your list and the elves will have already started work on it".
I've said this a few times to my DC about last minute additions. I've also let them know straight away when they definitely won't be getting something (that's too big to fit on the sleigh/the elves can't make tech/live animals etc) so they aren't disappointed on Christmas morning.
They've always been really happy on Christmas Day despite not always having everything they've asked for.

I do get my two to write a Santa 'list' but we have always been very very clear that
a) it's ideas not demands - I encourage them to put as many things as possible so he has plenty of choice to choose something
b) he might decide to get them a surprise instead
c) he might send a message to relatives to ask them to get something instead of getting it himself
d) they can ask for absolutely anything they like (because little kids have no idea what things cost and what is reasonable to ask for) but as above it's just ideas not things they will definitely get

One year one of mine could only think of one specific large plastic item he'd seen on an ad and we did get it. He played with it on Xmas Day and then didn't touch it afterwards... It wasn't too expensive luckily but it's quite big and now cluttering up our living room gathering dust.

It's completely fine not to get the specific item but as others have said I would manage expectations before the day so she knows she's not getting it.

In our house, Santa had a deadline (usually quite an early one as I shop early!!!) all requests made after X date could not be fulfilled. Expectations managed.

I think she will understand if you tell her Santa only brings small presents, he has a lot of kids to think of, after all! You can make a Christmas collage or a card "from Santa" that will explain this, and your DD will be fine.

Did you say to her you did f write that on your Christmas list

I am pleased you got the house at a good price. Hope she loves it.
Ps I did get a Mr Frosty and it was rubbish and ground plastic into the snow cone.

If you must do the whole Santa thing - can you not say Santa does not give the presents he simply transports them? That way your kid understands that -

Presents = buying power of parents/humans
Presents NOT 🟰 Being naughty/nice/asking for the moon

Otherwise how else will you ever explain why John in her year got a satsuma and baked beans but Emily also in her year got a PS5? John was naughty and Emily nice?

As the parent of a 4 and 8 year old in a home very Christmassy and excited but where Santa is a piece of fiction - I will never understand these situations. If you must do this, and link this fiction with “magic” surely you need to say Santa is transporter-only not the actual buyer?