Will DD be heartbroken if Santa doesn’t bring requested gift?

[underthewestway]

My DD5 has asked for a huge plastic Disney princess dollhouse from Santa. She is not going to get one, partly because I had already got most of her presents and this is a reasonably last minute swerve, partly because I baulk at paying so much money for a huge pile of plastic that doesn’t do anything and experience suggests won’t get played with, but mostly because we just don’t have the space for it atm.

but I feel awful and am worried she is going to be upset at not getting what she wants. I can still remember being that age and wanting things grown ups viewed as rubbish! I have got her a load of Disney animator dolls and am hoping that will be enough distraction. But does anyone with more experience of this have any words of wisdom?

I used to say that Santa would only bring things your parents allowed you to have and that if they wrote and asked for something thru were not allowed I would write too and say we had no space or whatever.

When did she ask for it? I’d have immediately being saying it was too late to change her mind.
I really wouldn’t be taking things back, swapping gifts or trying to buy second hand. We have experienced asking for things that we don’t get. It’s actually really important things to have to learn to deal with. Expectations around Father Christmas should be managed in line with what you as parents are prepared to provide.

Santa came round when she was at school, looked at the chimney, sucked his teeth and went 'Nah, luv, you won't get a house through there.' And promised her xyz items off her list instead.

Like so many of my generation I asked for a Mr Frosty every year and never got one.

Lmao we all had this experience didn't we 😂

OP had she already written her list and then decided she wanted this? We used to do the list nice and early and then if any additions were added would say sorry its been sent to santa now ask for your birthday for x. If he wrote a long list then we'd say when he was writing it santa would just bring a selection and not all or something. He asked for some horrific things we did buy, but if you've done the shopping and have no room for it I'd just maybe reiterate that santa can't bring everything. We always had our present from santa- just 1 from out lists and it was always magical. I know people do it differently but our present was off santa as parents could only afford 1- I wouldn't switch stuff up at this point and say he only delivers some unless you want millions of questions!

When did she ask for it? Did she write it in her letter? If she is 5, she needed help with this - so how did this not get sorted at that point?

I'm in Ireland so Santa does things slightly differently - less of a stocking tradition & he does bring the big gift.

So the letters need to be managed - that's the point where you explain with a suitable reason what's possible. I've never had a problem saying that a certain present is too expensive for the elves to make etc

If you've allowed it get through the early rounds, and she genuinely believes this is what Santa is bringing, you need to explain it now, and clearly. It would be awful otherwise. You can be creative with this if you like, various ways you could have Santa and his elves tell her now (eg a letter or visiting a local Santa) or just directly say.

As she's 5, the magic won't be diminished but you do need to make sure she's clear about what's happening.

This isn’t helpful right now but going forward just drop the letter to Santa

Fr Christmas brings the stockings and the little presents - the magic of it being dropped on your bed is more than enough.

Your relatives buy the big ones

We used to do the list nice and early and then if any additions were added would say sorry it's been sent to santa now ask for your birthday for x

Exactly the same here.

Santa brings all the presents here, but we have to agree before they go on the list. So big ones that we dont want in the house, simply cant go on the list and we tell him why. So its not that Santa won't bring it, its that we wont let him have it.

Oh yes and once the list is sent there are no add ons

I know this is how it's mostly done in the UK - I can't get my (Irish) head around it at all!

For us, the magic is that Santa brings one special present you really want, maybe a surprise too. Stockings aren't such a thing.

Writing the letter is such a big part of it - and in practical terms, is excellent at making sure situations like this don't arise. You vet the letter - and only what's on the letter that get posted can arrive. No last minute changes!

Love this!😂

My kids were always aware that a Santa list was very much a wish list with no guarantees….although we did buy dd a tub of yellow play doh as an adult as she had never got over that one disappointment 😂

I think the suggestion of a camper van is the best, she can play house, and actually it's a lot more fun than a house that doesn't move. She can really extend its play value, build camping scenes, set up an outside pool, take it skiing and build a snow scene. It's very versatile, much more than a house.

We had this one year when Father Christmas - aka one of the teacher's husbands and not an experienced FC - made a surprise visit to DS's class on the last day of term. DS said he'd like a specific small and inexpensive character toy that had been out of stock since about October and Father Christmas apparently told him it was already wrapped and ready. I'll never know whether that's what the jolly bastard actually said, but DS was so excited that Mummy had been wrong all along and FC must have used his magic to make one just like DS had been saying he could...

Anyway, I knew he'd be upset Christmas Day so the next morning he came downstairs to find a big mess near the fireplace, two sooty footprints and a letter from FC saying how sorry he was but he'd made a mistake and was thinking of all the other lovely toys he'd chosen for DS instead.

DS was disappointed for the rest of the day, then got over it and we had a lovely Christmas.

TLDR: Get the big man to write to your DS ASAP!

Agree... we've always done this!

Why do you feel awful? - because you cannot give her everything she wants? But that is life and a lesson all children learn early on - or we hope they do!

Just say "Oh dear! Santa has already sorted your presents for this year so he will not be bringing this now. I am sure he has some other really good things ready to bring. Maybe you could ask for it next year?" - by which time she will have forgotten it with any luck.

In our house the presents from Santa were little nonsense bits that they loved opening. We gave them a big present and relatives also gave but they knew who they were from.

That's why you write the list 1st December and take the list to the postbox.

When you have kids believe Santa is psychic you run into all sorts of problems nearer the time - with changing minds on gifts.

Santa brings one present here and leaves a stocking. The stocking are 'little surprises'.
The one present is the list gift. DC get to put down 3 things and Santa's elves check their warehouse and they get 1 of the presents.

Change your mind and tough - Lapland has a deadline for their admin office. During the second week we might be able to submit a change request but we don't know if Amazon, cough, I mean 'the Elves' can process it in time.

I would just tell her now she's not getting it.

If you really need to play along, type a letter up, put it in an envelope, address it to her, get an elf stamp, put some glitter in it, and drop it on the doormat before you go to bed. Or give it to your own elf on the shelf. Have that letter say 'unfortunately, Santa is unable to bring a Disney castle blah blah'. Have the tears now not Christmas day.

Same

Fc brings small gift and stocking

Dd is 6 and wanted something hugely costly ans I said fc brings a small
Gift and mummy and daddy the cost of stuff

As selfishly I want the credit eve. She gets an iphone or bike etx

This yr dd6 is desperate for a fingerling from fc

They are about £15/20
So I said sure she will get it and write on her letter

I've always said once she had chosen something and fc hears that she can't change her mind

But she really wants a fingerling bless her x

@Mammillaria

I'll never know whether that's what the jolly bastard actually said, but DS was so excited that Mummy had been wrong all along and FC must have used his magic to make one just like DS had been saying he could...

😂😂😂

This is brilliant!

(And well resolved by you - a nightmare situation to be faced with!)

Love this - exactly how I've done it, down to options for the elves to choose & a 01 December cut-off!

Op you need to find a way to talk her into something else or tell her it's not happening.
Tears on Christmas Day is not good.

I have also employed the Santa's sledge is packed maybe for birthday line before for DC1 (DC2 is Christmas Eve Baby and dropped a Switch on me the weekend before Christmas last year - I caved)

My DS is almost 5. The more expensive things like a batbot and bat cave we got from Facebook market place 75% cheaper!

I understand it more about the space though, but could you get a smaller one?

This is why Santa doesn’t bring the big stuff. He brings the stocking and 1 small gift up to about £20 value.
That way when they want some huge or expensive thing that’s never going to happen I can tell them straight up it’s never going to happen

I’m another one that asked for a Mr Frosty every year and never got one, so whilst it didn’t ruin Christmas or break my heart I’ve never forgotten.

If it was about the money I’d say that you shouldn’t break the bank to get it, there are more important things in life but if you can afford it and it’s really what she wants then I’d probably get it.

I say this as someone who once ran around several shops on Christmas Eve after my daughter announced she had asked Santa for something that she hadn’t told me about but had set her heart on it!

Is it the Disney princess castle with the fireworks? DD4 got it last year, it is huge and a bloody nightmare to build but does have good play potential.

He probably will want to be a politician.