Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Will DD be heartbroken if Santa doesn’t bring requested gift?

171 replies

underthewestway · 17/12/2023 09:15

My DD5 has asked for a huge plastic Disney princess dollhouse from Santa. She is not going to get one, partly because I had already got most of her presents and this is a reasonably last minute swerve, partly because I baulk at paying so much money for a huge pile of plastic that doesn’t do anything and experience suggests won’t get played with, but mostly because we just don’t have the space for it atm.

but I feel awful and am worried she is going to be upset at not getting what she wants. I can still remember being that age and wanting things grown ups viewed as rubbish! I have got her a load of Disney animator dolls and am hoping that will be enough distraction. But does anyone with more experience of this have any words of wisdom?

OP posts:
AwkwardPaws27 · 17/12/2023 10:29

It's too big to fit on the sleigh.

youveturnedupwelldone · 17/12/2023 10:31

I'd not have wanted something that big in my house either. Expectation management is needed here! FC does not bring that sort of gift for whatever reason, choose something else, don't put just one thing on your list give Santa a choice, that sort of thing.

If you don't get it she will be sad in the moment but she will get over it. I'd be so pissed off having an enormous plastic pile of tat hanging around for years not being played with until she decides it's time to let it go - most likely not until she is 11!

faithtrustandpixiedust · 17/12/2023 10:33

I could have written this post op, DD is 4 and has asked for the gabbys dollshouse, only after I finished my Christmas shopping of course!
Maybe it makes me a horrible mum but I'm not getting it, she already has a dollshouse and is getting loads of other things for Christmas that she will love. Santa is bringing her two smaller gabbys dollshouse related toys instead.
If she's still asking after Christmas then she can use the money she will receive from her grandparents for Christmas to get it but I don't think she will.

WandaWonder · 17/12/2023 10:34

Op is there anything you remember from your childhood you wanted but never got?

JellyBeanFactory · 17/12/2023 10:35

If money isn't an issue, I think I'd have to buy it for her. Disappointment at 5 is memorable!

Have you got any outside space? Once she has played with it over Christmas, can it go outside somewhere?

When we had renovations done, we bought some of those small cheap pop up tents, put them on the patio and put toys etc inside them. They stayed dry and protect for a good six months. Could this be an option?

Tryingtohelp12 · 17/12/2023 10:35

My son is 5 and has asked for a blue bike with red stripes and rocket blasters - this doesn’t exist. He has got a really good blue bike. My husband has brought some bike stickers as flames and some red tape to customise it. We’ve explained santa will do his best. After a visit to a bike store we realised that honestly he would be happy with any new bike. Maybe take her to a toy shop and get her to take a picture of all the different doll houses she likes to send the picture to Father Christmas. She will almost certainly pick more than one she likes!

Ariela · 17/12/2023 10:38

It's a useful lesson to learn that you cannot always be given what you would like, and that it could be for various reasons, be it size, cost, impracticality or the fact it doesn't actually exist.

When I was a child, in every household I knew Santa only brought small stocking stuff. Big stuff came from parents. So it wasn't unusual to be told that things were too big, not affordable, or won't get played with. I think now might be a good time to tell her that Santa can't do large or last minute requests, and you would have to save up to buy her one, so not this Christmas, but it's up to you how you present it!

She'll have countless other disappointing Christmases by the time she is 60, so it's good to learn that you don't get everything you ask for (I wanted a Tiny Tears when I was 6 but my parents knew I'd only cut it up to find out how the mechanism worked.)

If you must satisfy her every whim then look on Marketplace, you might find a pink doll's house you can tart up with Disney stickers, but be prepared for even more outlandish won't be played with requests in the future.
However IMHO it's good for her to know that you cannot always afford things and while you'll strive to get her what she wants it's not always possible, and if it's a last minute request you'll have to save.

EarringsandLipstick · 17/12/2023 10:39

faithtrustandpixiedust · 17/12/2023 10:33

I could have written this post op, DD is 4 and has asked for the gabbys dollshouse, only after I finished my Christmas shopping of course!
Maybe it makes me a horrible mum but I'm not getting it, she already has a dollshouse and is getting loads of other things for Christmas that she will love. Santa is bringing her two smaller gabbys dollshouse related toys instead.
If she's still asking after Christmas then she can use the money she will receive from her grandparents for Christmas to get it but I don't think she will.

Does she know she's not getting it?

lemmein · 17/12/2023 10:40

I've just googled it, it looks amazing - oh to be 5 again ☺️

If money isn't an issue I'd get her it!

OMGitsnotgood · 17/12/2023 10:42

I'd be careful saying ** 'FC does not bring that sort of gift for whatever reason,' or 'it won't fit on the sleigh' as it's not impossible that one of her friends will get one. Simply it was too late but there will be plenty of others. Tell her now, get the upset out of the way (if indeed there is any, sometimes young children just shrug these things off).

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 17/12/2023 10:46

Im sure i read this exact same thread a couple of weeks ago

in my experience of buying highly coveted plastic tat, not getting it will be disappointing. I didnt want my young children to have to deal with the feeling of disappointment so young. I wanted then to feel excitement. There are other times to introduce managing disappointment.

my dn has asked for a couple of things that are too expensive. His parents have not told him or suggested to him in any way he wont be getting them. He has been talking about these items for months. Theyve got him some cheap presents he hasn't asked for. I known now how he is going to be feeling and it isn't nice. They could have managed his expectations. Instead they said they are just going to blame santa.

AndThatWasNY · 17/12/2023 10:47

It's all about managing expectations. I would definitely tell her now that FC has sent a message to say he can't get one but he can tell she has been so good he will get her something else. That get her excited about what that might be.
I have 4 kids and quite often the longed for toy was then barely used.

Knittedfairies2 · 17/12/2023 10:49

Years ago my daughter asked for a wishing well. She was mildly disappointed that Father Christmas didn't bring it (and I could have gone to a garden centre and bought one) but it would have crushed her to find it didn't grant her wishes. I mentioned it to her a week or so ago and she has no recollection of it at all. You can manage your daughter's expectations OP.

AppleKatie · 17/12/2023 10:50

grass67 · 17/12/2023 10:26

@AppleKatie

But you were mean and nasty, calling the 5 year old a dictator and OP has bigger problems...

Honestly, she's 5, she's dreaming of the house, yes OP could manage her expectations, or find a compromise.

You are still mean though, maybe that sylvannian house did scar you!

Chill out I didn’t pop round her house a scream in the kids face 😂

For the record I was talking about the way we are treating the 5 year old as opposed to how she actually behaves. I’d be quite surprised if the DD in question even notices the lack of Barbie house in amongst the excitement of Christmas and the actual presents she will receive.

we are applying adult logic here. My central point is OP, give yourself permission to be human, she’s got some lovely presents, that really is enough!

pinklemonata · 17/12/2023 10:51

Sorry OP but I think I she would be really disappointed , yes. Can you get it on Klarna and pay back in instalments?
My eldest DC wanted a huge (and I mean HUGE!) car garage thingy one year, I really didn't to want to buy it because of its size and excessive tacky plastic. But we did, and he was ecstatic - it sat in our living room for years and now DC2 has claimed it. I always think the toys won't be around forever, as the DCs get older the toys will reduce and I'll probably miss the days when they cluttered the living room Grin

GettingStuffed · 17/12/2023 10:52

We used to tell our kids that a list to Santa was a suggestion and that they wouldn't get everything on it.

Flamesatmytoes · 17/12/2023 10:54

I am clearly a miserable bastard. I’m not going to comment.

grass67 · 17/12/2023 10:55

@Tryingtohelp12
that's so sweet, you could really run with that, tassels for the handlebars, a home made jet pack.

Wish mine were 5!

LaylaLayla1 · 17/12/2023 10:59

My niece wanted a toy bin lorry when she was younger, it was quite a large toy and my sister didn’t get it for her, she was gutted, it’s 10 years on and although she has forgotten how upset she was my sister hasn’t and has regretted it ever since.

Your right she probably won’t play with it, but be prepared for her to be upset, I think society now places too much of the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus now, that many little ones just think they will get what they ask for.

thefallen · 17/12/2023 11:02

Not getting what she wants is not going to scar her FFS. It's a good life lesson. Why are parents so scared of not pandering to their children?

TinselAngel · 17/12/2023 11:04

I've just googled it and I think I want one now.

endlessdarkness · 17/12/2023 11:04

You can't always get what you want and it doesn't hurt kids to learn this. Just be careful how you present it with the Santa story about him bringing presents to good children. My DH interpreted it as he hadn't been a good enough boy that year to get what he wanted. Especially when a friend or cousin got what he wanted but didn't get.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 17/12/2023 11:07

thefallen · 17/12/2023 11:02

Not getting what she wants is not going to scar her FFS. It's a good life lesson. Why are parents so scared of not pandering to their children?

There is a différence between not pandering to children, and letting them think they are getting something then letting them think that they were not good enough.

People arent saying pander to a child. They are saying you need to manage expectations

Bouncyball23 · 17/12/2023 11:12

This is the 3rd year my dd has asked for the same expensive tat I refused to buy the last 2 years but have given in an bought it this year so be warned your dd will probably ask again next year for it.

EarringsandLipstick · 17/12/2023 11:22

thefallen · 17/12/2023 11:02

Not getting what she wants is not going to scar her FFS. It's a good life lesson. Why are parents so scared of not pandering to their children?

🙄