Will DD be heartbroken if Santa doesn’t bring requested gift?

[underthewestway]

My DD5 has asked for a huge plastic Disney princess dollhouse from Santa. She is not going to get one, partly because I had already got most of her presents and this is a reasonably last minute swerve, partly because I baulk at paying so much money for a huge pile of plastic that doesn’t do anything and experience suggests won’t get played with, but mostly because we just don’t have the space for it atm.

but I feel awful and am worried she is going to be upset at not getting what she wants. I can still remember being that age and wanting things grown ups viewed as rubbish! I have got her a load of Disney animator dolls and am hoping that will be enough distraction. But does anyone with more experience of this have any words of wisdom?

Awwww maybe I am a mega soft touch but she's 5 and its santa!!!!

If you can afford it I'd get a new or 2nd hand one and return some of the other stuff.

If it's really just space holding you back can you do a January clearout of old toys and either sell on or donate them????

@UpUpUpU

Oh gosh, I'd be fuming.
Not sure what it's like now but I spent 15 days straight constantly tracking a ps5 two years ago, up every hour gods sends, constantly refreshing the Game site. Not at all a toy for a 5 year old.
I would contact granny and ask when it's being delivered.

I got a PS5, but boy was it stressful, we go to extraordinary lengths to fulfil Christmas lists. It was the only item on the list for us and was half funded by child's savings. (saved in anticipation of the bloody thing being launched)

I know people who camped out for a Tracey island toy, they laugh about it now but really queing outside Debenhams at 2 am!!

I think wanting to fulfil a wish is a nice thing to do, and when you look back, it does give a warm and fuzzy feeling that you went the extra mile. In this instance the OP hasn't got room, but she could get a fudge, dolls are less fun when you haven't got something to play house in.

I bought my DS a very small Paw Patrol ramp toy instead of the mighty pups tower he really wanted. Only because I thought it was a giant lump of plastic.

It was a few years ago and he still mentions it now. I wish I could go back and get the tower.

They only believe in the magic for such a short time.

Has she only just mentioned it?
Is there a smaller/ fold down version available?
If there's no room in the house to store it then tell her now you've had a chat with Santa and it's too big for the sleigh, and he'll bring what fits on
Difficult one I know

Gosh I didn’t expect to provoke so many responses! Nor such strong opinions 🤣

To clear a few things up:

• it really isn’t about the money - other than that it does sit a bit uneasily with me to spend that kind of money on a big lump of plastic but equally I have been 5 myself so I do get the attraction
• it is much more about space - we don’t live in a shoebox by any stretch but good grief most people must live in mansions if they can find easy storage for all these things. My younger son got a paw patrol tower last Xmas and it takes up about a quarter of his room. Maybe I am scarred by that!
• I don’t know how she would react for the very reason that she is not entitled - but this is Santa so the expectations are different. I suspect she would say nothing and be happy with what she got but in her head she would wonder why and that’s what I want to avoid.
• I wanted plenty of things I didn’t get for Xmas and loads that I did. I don’t remember being particularly upset about it tbh. I have clearer memories of being disappointed when my parents didn’t get me specific things I asked for when I was older.

But the main thing I have learned from this is that I have messed up on the Santa letter front. She is only doing it this weekend because we are away at Center Parcs and I wanted them to do their letters here because they get a response posted back. So the things I have bought were things she has spoken about throughout the last few months. I now see my mistake and will know better next year! Early letter and not letting them watch anything other than CBeebies next year!

Anyway, I have worked out I can return some of the other stuff so I have gone ahead and got it for her (thanks to the poster flagging the Argos offer 😊) And I will just have to get rid of some other plastic tat this week to make space for it.

How easily could you influence her? At 5 mine were pretty malleable, less so at 6. Depends on the dc.

If she’s been influenced by tv ads, you might be able to find an unboxing video to tilt her in the other direction. Especially if you’re sitting beside her doing a running commentary (that’s how I saw off the paw patrol transporter than ds announced he wanted mid December)

I put dd off the Frozen Ice Castle on the grounds that she already had a dolls house and I didn’t think Santa would leave another one. But even though she asked for something else she was a bit wistful about the plastic monstrosity for a year or two. Not enough to ask for it again.

I don’t think she’s as traumatised as the Mr Frosty generation but we survived.

Did anyone ever actually get a Mr Frosty?!?

I am of the same vintage and when asking my boss what I should do about the bloody castle the other day, the first thing he said was his annual disappointment over not getting a Mr Frosty!

I'm not 100% convinced Mr Frostys actually existed.

I'm sure I had a Mr Frosty, or my brother did 🤔

It was crap. You weren't missing anything

that's a good update, you will be a hero! bask in that moment, you will remember it for a long time. x

Santa only did stocking here. how else do you explain the gross injustice of present giving? Subscribe to a toy donation or show box appeal. Explain why and the reality of poverty and that's the best way to teach imho. Mine always knew they would be a present down, because they had donated it to someone child less well off.

My husband got the Mr Frosty, he said it was awful. I'm quite glad my parents didn't get me one as I enjoy the nostalgia of being able to talk about wanting a Mr Frosty!

Glad you've ordered it (just hope her little face is worth it!). Did you see my suggestion about putting it outside, but inside a pop up tent? That would work well, she could still play with it inside the tent too.

Ah glad you’ve bought it! Top tip don’t leave it too late to build on Xmas eve or have too much wine beforehand 🤣

Aww I'm sure her face will light up on Christmas Day
FWIW I never got a Mr Frosty either!

This.

I didn't get everything I wanted from my list but was never upset about it 🤷🏻‍♀️ As a side note I seem to be the only person who DID get a Mr Frosty 😂 Thing was a bloody nightmare to use.

@underthewestway

That's great, I'm really glad you've worked out a plan. It sounds like it's going to be perfect for DD!

Yes. Don't ask if you won't buy.

I was about to say get it as shes 5. What she wants and you can afford it

Different if can't afford it

But seen this reply and you have. Yah

The magic is only there for a few more years and then knows no fc

Yes a child can't have everything but no reason why she can't have this

Dd mentions a few things she would like (I check prices and avaibiliy)

Then check she wants x and then we do a letter saying she wants x

Ans send it via one of the online things that are about £6 saying what she liked and is good at etx

and get a letter back in return

So dd got a letter back from fc saying I hear you want a fingerling (whoever names then this should be shot ) and you like reading and good at gymnastics

And mini blondes was omg mummy how does he know this

I did

I'm 50 and got him when I think I was 8:9

Was sooooooo thrilled and was at my nans and ran into my parents bedroom at 3am overjoyed !!!

None of my friends got him. They were so jealous

OP always make sure there are a few things on the list, and we phrase it that we are giving santa ideas but you won't get everything on the list

I never got one. Asked for one every year.

So did DH.

And thirty years on, look how many people still remember how they didn't get this silly plastic snowman. It's stuck with all of us. And it's not "sweet" how we all pined, and then felt that little pang of upset on Christmas morning
It was a £15 toy, which most parents could afford, and actually happily spent more on alternative gifts.

First Christmas, DH and I bought each other one. And yes, they are totally shit. But that's not the point. If they were £500, and our parents knew they were plastic crap, that's one thing. But they weren't. So why do that, when it's the one thing they've asked for? Its not about the toy, is £15 not worth the magic on Christmas morning? The magic that only lasts a few small years.

For this exact reason, my DC get their "thing" each year. And DTwins have both asked for shite. Girl twin is getting a purple curlimal. Boy twin is getting a remote controlled little green digger. Both under £30. It's the one thing they've asked Father Christmas for. It's the one thing he brings, with a small stocking of edible gifts and a wind up toy. Everything else comes from Mummy and Daddy.

Eldest DC at their age asked for a teacup and a worm. That's what he got. He was absolutely thrilled.

If you can afford it, buy it. It's for a handful of years. Don't decide whether you think it's what they should have. It's so personal to what the tiny mind of that child wishing to Father Christmas has asked for.

@ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe there's a massive difference between a Mr Frosty and a £180 massive doll house though. I imagine if it had been a £20 toy the OP wouldn't have thought twice.

I don't remember ever feeling upset that I didn't get the Mr Frosty. Probably because my parents would have prepared me for it so I wasn't actually expecting it. You don't have to get kids every little thing they want on a whim and they won't be scarred by it if you prepare them.

It's nice that the OP has gone and got the dollhouse, but it wouldn't be a terrible thing if she hadn't.

Ah, lovely to see the update. I really hope it won't take over your home OP!

My DS is 15 now so I just asked him if he could remember our little debacle. He was in Reception class at the time (and it was a brio wooden railway sized train of his favourite character from the TV series Chuggington, for anyone who might remember that!)

He remembers really wanting the train, but can't remember anything about speaking to Father Christmas about it and very little about the letter.

I guess we'll never know exactly what FC actually told him!

But it's not every little thing.

It's the one thing, personal to that child.

I don't think anyone was scarred either, that's a tad dramatic. It's about a few special years when they believe in the magic, and making it possible if you are in a position to do so.

If you are in a position to do so, and actively choose not too, I think it's a shame for the child.

Edited as did not see the reply that op got the dollhouse