5 course Christmas dinner out with a 2yo

[RedRobyn2021]

We're going out for Christmas dinner this year with my parents, it's a 5 course meal and my DD is coming she is 2 (almost 3)

She is excellent for her age at sitting at a table however, the pub we're going to (which has a lovely friendly atmosphere) is notoriously slow and there are 5 courses. I was already a little concerned but I didn't imagine there would be so many courses.

They are doing two servings, one at 12 and one at 2

We said to my parents we would really rather the 12 as the pub might be a bit more efficient with the food as they'll know they have more people coming at 2pm but they insisted they want 2pm

Every time I raise my concern with my mum she just kind of ignores me or says it will be fine

I know if I said we weren't coming she would be really upset and yet I feel like she's not being realistic and I think there's a possibility we won't have a nice time because the expectation of my toddler is not realistic

What do you think? She's the only child there with 4 adults so my mum says we will all be able to try to keep her entertained

There's also the other factor that my parents are paying for the Christmas dinner, it's really expensive and I feel terrible about it but we have already spent a fortune on Christmas and I don't want us to spend even more. But I also don't feel like we can say no to going. I mean, I want to go, but I am feeling it's going to be hard work.

It sounds lovely and I recommend you relax and just go with the flow. If your parents are hands on grandparents and will chat to her and take turns to have little walks with her to look at the restaurant's decorations, do a bit of colouring with her, look at a book together, play with some little figures with her etc then I'm sure it will all go well. Don't expect perfect behaviour from her but she may surprise you with how long she will happily sit and interact with you all.

Back in a similar situation we always took books and colouring...for Christmas I am sure there is a Christmas sticker book etc which will fill time and be seasonal. Dh and I used to also take ds for a little walk at one or two points.
Also the food should break time up...just double check they are not one of those silly restaurants who serve kids before adults as it means you all eat then have a little break. Even Christmas Crackers and jokes are a distraction

I had this situation a few years back and vowed never to repeat it again. Whilst going out for dinner was lovely, it took 4 hours and the children understandably became restless and just wanted to be at home playing with their toys.

If you do end up going take lots of games, colourings etc.

It's Christmas day, the staff will want to get finished so I imagine they will get the service out a lot quicker than normal.

I do feel it's unfair to drag kids out to a restaurant on Christmas day though when they would have so much more fun at home playing with all their new toys.

@AmyandPhilipfan this is so reassuring thank you

"one of those silly restaurants who serve kids before adults"

Most parents I know prefer this as it gives them chance to help their kids without their own food going cold plus kids take forever to eat too.

@Attictroll yes I have a Christmas stick book and a colouring book all ready for the big day!

@Dartmoorcheffy

Yes I was just thinking something similar, but my parents have hosted Christmas for years and cooked, I think it is good for them not to be cooking this year, I always feel like they miss out and DD is only 2 so I don't think there are so many expectations from her. I'm actually considering holding back some gifts for Boxing Day as that should be more relaxed and will give her a chance to play more

Yeah I wouldn't take my two olds to a 5 course dinner - all well and good saying lots of adults there to entertain them but 2 year olds don't want entertaining by adults for several hours in a restaurant- at some point they are going to want to get down and walk around etc do anything but sit at a table ....

God no this sounds like absolute hell on Earth. This is the worst plan ever.

What will actually happen is the adults will get completely absorbed talking to each other, you'll spend the whole time chasing around the pub after a bored two year old or trying to read "that's not my bee" for the fiftieth time in a row, you will get to eat three mouthfuls and your mum will say "this was so lovely let's do it again next year" (assuming no one comments on your parenting because even if you're a perfect parent someone will have something to say about how it's your fault a two year old couldn't sit still in a pub for hours over a 5 course meal).

And the food service will take hours.

She wants the 2pm slot so she's not in any hurry to leave and I suspect she wants to linger between courses chatting to people for ages too.

You would be much better off just having something at your own home and popping down to the pub to meet them all for a quick drink afterwards.

I’d say depends on the child and the setting. Some kids simply wouldn’t sit for three courses at that age, others would. Only you can judge that and how much work she’ll be and if you’ll be the one entertaining or others will help.

There’s nothing worse than being out at a place with a child and having daggers from other guests for simply being there (whether your child is behaving or not).

A place serving five courses on Xmas day would make me double check if is it going to be filled with other adults wanting a quiet Xmas day dinner, not necessarily a place that’s going to attract lots of families to cover the fact that your toddler is restless/ a normal noisy child/ playing at the table.

If you feel like she’ll cope and that the atmosphere will be jovial then go for it! If you know deep down she’ll never sit and you’ll be run ragged and it will spoil others meal out too then maybe you really do just need a bit of a frank chat with mum and dad.

I think it does sound like it will be hard work. No matter how good your DD is, that is a lot of sitting down for a child who presumably will be excited and wanting to play with her new toys!

I actually think it's very selfish of your parents. Your dd won't want to sit for hours and hours when she's got lots of new toys to play with.

If you have to go then find a local park to take her to during courses, pack sticker books and an iPad.

Not fair on the two year old.

That really sounds like hard work.
Been out with my 2 yo for a quick pub lunch today and waiting half an hour for one course was bad enough.

He is really good and patient, but obviously needs entertaining. It wouldn’t be a relaxing Christmas dinner for me at all personally!

Take as many toys as you can (quiet ones for the sake of other diners) and maybe some books to read too.

The other thing is, your DD will get full really quickly, there might be entire courses she doesn't like, at which point you are going to be trying to keep her busy while everyone faffs over how lovely the asparagus is that your DD has spat out or dropped on the floor and you've now not got food to distract her with, so you won't get to eat yours for that course.

With the best will in the world, we've taken our kids out to so many places (we eat out weekly), they're very well-behaved and have very hands-on grandparents on one side, and this is still a very tall order.

Bring a bag with lots of toys and snacks and don't let her see what you have packed so everytime she whinges you can bring something new that she wasn't expecting out. Make sure you are assertive with your family by saying OK grandpa it's your turn now.
Maybe you could prep them all a bit to make it clear that you are expecting them to do their fair share of keeping your little one entertained.

Tag team with your husband/parents by taking her for walks outside to break the utter monotony of a five course meal???

Wtf is your mother thinking?!

I also feel sorry for the other patrons who will have paid a fortune for a fancy Christmas meal, to be next to a toddler

It just isn't the time or place

No way in hell would I put my 2yr old through that...sorry! And I say that as a parent whose children do sit pretty well for 2 courses 3 at a push. Your parents will have a lovely meal whilst you are out of your seat a million times after she's sat nicely for an hour and a half.

I agree it sounds like hell. Sorry

It's a lot to ask of even the best behaved 2 year old. It's just boring for them, uncomfortable, and I suspect will be hard work for you. I hope for your sake I am wrong though and if you have involved family who are able to take turns and help then it may be much more manageable.

We have done a 3 hour sitting with my son at a similar age.. best thing I can suggest given it's Christmas is to give the items you will give to her wrapped, slowly and not at the beginning. Start with your worst and build up to whatever is the best item..

One of those nesting dolls kept my son going for over an hour at a restaurant before! Especially if it's themed like something she likes (they do animal ones, Christmas ones etc). We still take them out for every meal and he's 5 now, he doesn't have them any other time but opening each one, putting them together and playing with them as characters, putting them all back into each other, seems to work really well and they're also not large!

I also just want to add that at the very least change the time if you really have to go.

The afternoon overwhelm for a child at that age on Christmas day is REAL! She’ll be excited/ exhausted and mid afternoon I imagine the slump will rear it’s head right in the middle of your meal.

With the best will in the world (and we have taken my DS aged 4 out last xmas day for a four course pub meal) - we went for 12 too because trying to get him out the house post 2 after an early wake up and presents was not going to be ideal!

Why not give dd her lunch before you get there? Your dm doesn't get to decide your dd will be eating lunch around 3pm if it isn't appropriate for your toddler... If she wastes her food surely that's dm to blame not your dd?