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Original poster

5 course Christmas dinner out with a 2yo

138 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 17:59

We're going out for Christmas dinner this year with my parents, it's a 5 course meal and my DD is coming she is 2 (almost 3)

She is excellent for her age at sitting at a table however, the pub we're going to (which has a lovely friendly atmosphere) is notoriously slow and there are 5 courses. I was already a little concerned but I didn't imagine there would be so many courses.

They are doing two servings, one at 12 and one at 2

We said to my parents we would really rather the 12 as the pub might be a bit more efficient with the food as they'll know they have more people coming at 2pm but they insisted they want 2pm

Every time I raise my concern with my mum she just kind of ignores me or says it will be fine

I know if I said we weren't coming she would be really upset and yet I feel like she's not being realistic and I think there's a possibility we won't have a nice time because the expectation of my toddler is not realistic

What do you think? She's the only child there with 4 adults so my mum says we will all be able to try to keep her entertained

There's also the other factor that my parents are paying for the Christmas dinner, it's really expensive and I feel terrible about it but we have already spent a fortune on Christmas and I don't want us to spend even more. But I also don't feel like we can say no to going. I mean, I want to go, but I am feeling it's going to be hard work.

OP posts:
slipperypenguin · 26/11/2023 19:24

iPad is your friend

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 26/11/2023 19:26

Lots of entertainment- books, colouring and at 5 courses I'd take a tablet and head phones.

Normally I don't like tablets in restaurants but 5 courses is a hellavu long time for a 2 year old.

Whinge · 26/11/2023 19:34

coxesorangepippin · 26/11/2023 18:56

I also feel sorry for the other patrons who will have paid a fortune for a fancy Christmas meal, to be next to a toddler

It just isn't the time or place

I agree. I'm usually the one advocating for taking young children out to restaurants but this is a very different situation. People are going to have paid a small fortune for a 5 course meal on Christmas day, and it really isn't a suitable environment for a young child.

Op you're going to be stressed trying to entertain you DD, keep her from running around (completely normal for young children) and also spend time talking to your parents. If there's any way you can cancel I would, as I genuinely think hosting will be less stressful than the meal out.

MotorwayDiva · 26/11/2023 19:36

I used to take a bag of small toys at that age, dinosaurs, doll, books and small knick knacks. I think a slinky kept her occupied for almost half the meal once, it was the first time she'd seen one

RabbitsRock · 26/11/2023 19:36

My teenager would struggle with that, let alone a 2 year old! Plus having to wait until 2pm before you even start! No way OP.

wutheringkites · 26/11/2023 19:41

RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 18:43

@Dartmoorcheffy

Yes I was just thinking something similar, but my parents have hosted Christmas for years and cooked, I think it is good for them not to be cooking this year, I always feel like they miss out and DD is only 2 so I don't think there are so many expectations from her. I'm actually considering holding back some gifts for Boxing Day as that should be more relaxed and will give her a chance to play more

This is an odd stage of family life to be giving up Christmas at home and switching to a restaurant. I always thought people did this when there aren't young kids around.

My son probably would have gotten through this at that age but I wouldn't have found it relaxing and he wouldn't have enjoyed it very much.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 26/11/2023 19:42

If you go then sit dc next to mil.... You sit as far away as you can.. She can jolly dc along.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 26/11/2023 19:43

Sorry realised it's your own dm. Even more batshit idea.

AutumnNamechange · 26/11/2023 19:45

That sounds like such a rubbish Christmas Day for your child, two is way too young to sit through a meal that long. It won’t be fun for you and it won’t be fun for her either. Your mum is being totally unreasonable. There is a happy medium between not wanting to cook Christmas dinner and going out for 5 courses!

WashItTomorrow · 26/11/2023 19:45

Sounds horrendous and stressful. I think it’s pretty selfish of your parents.

HollowEgg · 26/11/2023 19:47

Take colouring, toys, etc (gift wrap them for an extra 5 mins) and if in doubt have a device with headphones and bbc iPlayer!

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/11/2023 19:47

coxesorangepippin · 26/11/2023 18:56

I also feel sorry for the other patrons who will have paid a fortune for a fancy Christmas meal, to be next to a toddler

It just isn't the time or place

Surely it's always a possibility if they have a children's menu available for Christmas Day?

HollowEgg · 26/11/2023 19:47

One child with two parents is easy as you can take turns to eat/entertain

safetyfreak · 26/11/2023 19:48

My 2 year old is a menace and certainly would not sit nicely for a 5 course meal. I agree with you, 12 would be more bearable than 2pm.

Its your christmas too, maybe decline the invite or your be stressed out the whole dinner?

NuffSaidSam · 26/11/2023 19:53

I'd have lunch at home and then pop over to your parents in the evening.

Won't she be starving by the time the food actually comes out? Or full of snacks that you've had to give her because she was too hungry to wait!

PennyPinkPineapple · 26/11/2023 19:54

Five courses, that's at least 2.5 to 3 hours sitting at a dinner table!

I definitely wouldn't want to do this, even with a suitcase full of books and toys, my 2 year old would last about 45 mins max and then I'd be up walking her about. It would be no fun for her and stressful for me because I wouldn't get to enjoy my food and I'd be stressed about what the other diners were thinking.

cleaninglady123 · 26/11/2023 19:56

I'd totally bring out the tablet (and ear phones) in this situation. And toys/books/colouring. Could do have a mystery bag with some small gifts for her to open while you are there?

I reckon you could do it if you take enough entertainment.

SirChenjins · 26/11/2023 19:57

Are your parents going to do all the hard work involved in looking after a 2 year old, leaving you to enjoy your Christmas lunch - or is the bulk of it going to fall to you? If the former then why not - if the latter, there’s no way I would put my child, my self and the other customers through that. Christmas should be a relaxing, fun time - not several hours of being on edge.

glitterbugsparkles · 26/11/2023 19:57

My kid would totally struggle. I'd have fed him before hand. And told them not to order food for him. And I'd have a tablet all ready to go with headphones. It's one meal and it sounds like it's more adult orientated.

Fed & tablet.

And hopefully you can enjoy Xmas with the family too

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 26/11/2023 19:59

Surely 1 dc with 2 dps to take turns should be 1 dc sat with the host? Op didn't ask for this stress.

Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 20:07

SirChenjins · 26/11/2023 19:57

Are your parents going to do all the hard work involved in looking after a 2 year old, leaving you to enjoy your Christmas lunch - or is the bulk of it going to fall to you? If the former then why not - if the latter, there’s no way I would put my child, my self and the other customers through that. Christmas should be a relaxing, fun time - not several hours of being on edge.

My mum and DD's dad will definitely help with her. There is a park nearby about a 5 minute drive.

I don't think we can get out of it without really upsetting my mum.

If I had my way, they would go for the meal and we would meet them at there house afterwards. I thought it would be 3 courses and I thought it would be a bit of work but we would manage but I don't think we can do 5 and the pub is slooooow. Last time we went we were waiting over an hour after ordering. It was a really unpleasant experience. I have been hoping that because it's all precooked the pub would be better at the timing.

OP posts:
supersonicginandtonic · 26/11/2023 20:08

Does you mum not realise that there are lots and lots of child friendly pubs and restaurants open on Christmas Day that do just 3 courses and are much better for. 2 year old? 5 courses for any child is just ridiculous.

Morred · 26/11/2023 20:08

Has DC dropped their nap yet? Or will they just be coming round / need waking to be there at 2pm.

when your DM next mentions all pitching in, make it clear that means once course each that an adult largely misses to entertain DC. Ask her which ones she and DF want to take on.

WhatNoRaisins · 26/11/2023 20:09

I wouldn't want to do this. If it was the 12pm sitting I'd maybe consider it with lots of suitable distractions for the 2 year old but mine at that age couldn't cope with late lunches.

How helpful are the other adults likely to be. You know them, they be tag teaming with the toddler or just chatting to each other and leaving you to manage alone?

Leeds2 · 26/11/2023 20:11

Given that the 12 o'clock sitting has to be over by 2 so as to accommodate the second lot of diners, I bet yours will only take two hours too. Not that long, really. I would wrap up things like the sticker book to try and make it more exciting for DD if she has something to unwrap.