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Original poster

5 course Christmas dinner out with a 2yo

138 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 17:59

We're going out for Christmas dinner this year with my parents, it's a 5 course meal and my DD is coming she is 2 (almost 3)

She is excellent for her age at sitting at a table however, the pub we're going to (which has a lovely friendly atmosphere) is notoriously slow and there are 5 courses. I was already a little concerned but I didn't imagine there would be so many courses.

They are doing two servings, one at 12 and one at 2

We said to my parents we would really rather the 12 as the pub might be a bit more efficient with the food as they'll know they have more people coming at 2pm but they insisted they want 2pm

Every time I raise my concern with my mum she just kind of ignores me or says it will be fine

I know if I said we weren't coming she would be really upset and yet I feel like she's not being realistic and I think there's a possibility we won't have a nice time because the expectation of my toddler is not realistic

What do you think? She's the only child there with 4 adults so my mum says we will all be able to try to keep her entertained

There's also the other factor that my parents are paying for the Christmas dinner, it's really expensive and I feel terrible about it but we have already spent a fortune on Christmas and I don't want us to spend even more. But I also don't feel like we can say no to going. I mean, I want to go, but I am feeling it's going to be hard work.

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 26/11/2023 20:13

DS is nearly 4 and even now I wouldn't put him through this on Christmas day. It's so inherently selfish of your mum.

Your daughter will want to be at home playing with her toys, not stuck at a table for much of the day disrupting others because she's clearly bored out of her mind. I wouldn't care about upsetting your mum this sounds like literally the worst plan possible for everyone.

Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 20:19

Leeds2 · 26/11/2023 20:11

Given that the 12 o'clock sitting has to be over by 2 so as to accommodate the second lot of diners, I bet yours will only take two hours too. Not that long, really. I would wrap up things like the sticker book to try and make it more exciting for DD if she has something to unwrap.

This is what I was hoping. Have you been out for a Christmas dinner similar? I am quite worried about it, especially after reading these comments

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 26/11/2023 20:26

RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 20:19

This is what I was hoping. Have you been out for a Christmas dinner similar? I am quite worried about it, especially after reading these comments

Show quote history

I haven't, and DD is now 25, but I did do lots of long dinners when she was small and they were usually ok. I really don't think two hours is a reasonable time, if she has things to unwrap, is able to look at the decorations, go out for a walk etc. There may even be a Father Christmas there, or music, to help keep her entertained.

Sherrystrull · 26/11/2023 20:27

Is it a pub designed for young children with a children menu and high chairs?

Doveyouknow · 26/11/2023 20:29

Sounds like a nightmare and not much fun for a 2 year old on Christmas day. My in laws insist on taking small children to long formal lunches and I dread it. They are very hands on but keeping toddlers entertained still mainly falls to me. It's stressful and the meal is generally wasted on me. I am happy to do it for their special occasions but I would absolutely refuse to spend my Christmas day doing it.

GettingOldWithoutStyle · 26/11/2023 20:31

I have three kids and absolutely none of them would have been able to cope with this, not that I would I have out them through it on Christmas day. It sounds pretty mean to me. Sorry OP.

IWasFunBeforeMum · 26/11/2023 20:31

Go armed with colouring stuff and when that runs out whip out the phone to watch some rubbish (on low/no volume before anyone jumps on me)

Codlingmoths · 26/11/2023 20:33

Not just a sticker book, we bring toy animals and drawing and snacks and a ball (for outside). If you’ve been there for an hour and it’s a shit time and no one is helping you can head home! But after one course finishes I’d just take her for a 15 minute walk, saying text me if the meal comes.

cheddercherry · 26/11/2023 20:33

You can always ring the pub to check how the sessions run. I wouldn’t automatically assume that they seat people for just two hours - when we went last year we were part way in when the next lot of diners arrived at 2:30.

IfYouDontAsk · 26/11/2023 20:36

I don’t think Christmas is just for kids, but if kids are around then I think their enjoyment should come first and no two year old is going to enjoy a five course meal in a restaurant when they could be at home playing with their new toys. Sorry, but I wouldn’t do it.

Whereinharrogate · 26/11/2023 20:36

Why don't you ring the pub and ask them how long it will take realistically? As pp have said they might be planning only a 2-hr sitting. So that would be okay, and you'd be able to stop worrying in the run up. If you have an honest conversation with them and it sounds like it's going to be hours...maybe time to speak to your mum.

ChicoryDip · 26/11/2023 20:44

It wouldn't be my choice when DC were that age but it sounds as if you feel that you need to go so I'd be looking for ways to make it work.

Break the time into 15-20 minute chunks and agree with DH that you might both miss bits of the meal but you'll make it up on Boxing Day when, presumably, you're on your own again.

My plan would be to feed DD something beforehand so that anything she eats is a bonus and you're not relying on her eating all of her Christmas meal.

Have 20mins of colouring or stickers (maybe with Grandma), then DH take her out for 20mins for a walk and some fresh air, come back, open a small gift with her and play with it, and maybe have some iPad or phone time and repeat...

If she'll nap in a pushchair could you take her out, push her around and then bring her back asleep?

It sounds a bit rubbish missing out on the meal and conversation but it's doable with a bit of planning.

yellowlane · 26/11/2023 20:45

I'd have taken my dd that age no problem, but she has been used to eating out since she was a baby (at least weekly) so was very well behaved. Bring lots of bits she got for Xmas that she can play quietly with- colouring, stickers, small world toys. As it's only 4 adults who will no doubt dote on her I think you'll be fine. Take it in turns to have little walks in between courses.

Notajogger · 26/11/2023 20:46

No way would I do this. Christmas is for the kids really, and this plan sounds very unfair on your DD.

A park a 5 minute drive away is all well and good but which of the adults is going to be willing to miss half of the meal, and probably 3 of the courses (which you'll still be paying for) to take her...? It won't happen.

Meet them afterwards. If your mum is upset, that's her problem, and she needs to think of a plan which works for everyone next time if she wants everyone to take part! She basically hasn't catered at all for the needs of the person whose needs should be highest on the priority list. And she's not thinking much of you and your stress levels, either.

TucSandwich · 26/11/2023 20:47

It's quite likely the first sitting will overrun and you'll be waiting around before you even get seated.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 26/11/2023 20:50

Unless your child is regularly taken out for these sort of things I think it's just too much for a 2 year old.

DS1 used to go weekly on a Sunday to a cafe for lunch. We packed books etc for him and he had his own meal (not bits and pieces coming over 2 hours) and even then there were times it was too much for him.

When DS2 came along we had stopped doing this regularly and he was a nightmare to take along occasionally to a cafe as he just hadn't learned to sit still for that long.

It was only when they were old enough to be able to watch things on an iPad (with sound limited children's headphones so no one else was disturbed) that we were able to do leisurely meals.

Your DM might be upset, but YOU have every right to have an enjoyable Christmas day with your DC.

MarleyandMarleyWoo · 26/11/2023 20:51

Gosh, five courses, that sounds lovely… without children. With a two year old, it sounds bloody awful and there’s no way on earth I would be going. You say it would really upset your mum but honestly, what a silly selfish idea from her and she won’t even listen to your concerns or make adjustments to better suit you and your family! Who cares if it upsets her, frankly, if she’s being so narrow minded. I love going for meals out with my two year old, je does so well, but this is just too much imo and kind of unfair given I’m sure any two year old would rather be at home with all their fun new toys!

readingmakesmehappy · 26/11/2023 20:52

Will she not be napping at 2? This would never work for us. We just wouldn't do it

isthewashingdryyet · 26/11/2023 20:54

Please don’t sit on the table next to me and my adult kids. I have saved so hard to be able to afford a lovely, grown up Christmas lunch, as it will be the last one before they fly off to be fully fledged adults.

an over excited two year old who had to leave her new toys at home is a recipe for a meltdown.

please don’t sit near me and mine.

Lunde · 26/11/2023 21:06

This brings back terrible memories of an Easter lunch out with an almost 2 year old - I still shudder over 20 years later.

My mum was similar and ignored me by booking the 2pm sitting rather than the 12 - and it was total hell.

Although dd was used to eating out we had never done a 3 course. It might have worked OKish at 12 - but 2pm made it so much worse. DD was tired after the excitement of the morning, she was grumpy, didn't want to sit in a high chair for hours in a packed, loud, boozy pub, and really needed a nap. So while everyone enjoyed a leisurely lunch - I spent most of the time out in the pub garden in freezing winds (March in the Peak District). I ended up exhausted and eating a cold dinner in 10 minutes flat.

Never did it again

shsh6 · 26/11/2023 21:16

I'v been out for Xmas dinner with a 4 and 2 year old. Honestly it was fine, lovely actually. At the time they were really into the toys where you unwrap layers and little bags etc so we took a few of those (that were xmas presents). Also colouring if it's not provided by the pub. Where we went tend to be quite slow but on the day they were actually really prompt. I think you'll probably end up being done in 2 hours.

YourNameGoesHere · 26/11/2023 21:18

shsh6 · 26/11/2023 21:16

I'v been out for Xmas dinner with a 4 and 2 year old. Honestly it was fine, lovely actually. At the time they were really into the toys where you unwrap layers and little bags etc so we took a few of those (that were xmas presents). Also colouring if it's not provided by the pub. Where we went tend to be quite slow but on the day they were actually really prompt. I think you'll probably end up being done in 2 hours.

Was it a 5 course meal starting at 2pm though?

I genuinely wouldn't expect a 5 course meal to be over in just 2 hours.

whynotwhatknot · 26/11/2023 21:21

seems a bit much for a two year old-is it usually a family friendly place

shsh6 · 26/11/2023 21:29

@YourNameGoesHere it was 5 course and we did start at 2. We had a late breakfast, as we would anyway - when we cook xmas dinner at home we typically don't start much sooner than 2 anyway.

The place op is going has stated 2 hours for the first sitting so I'd also expect 2 for the second sitting. The menus are obviously very slimmed down which helps them keep timings. Where we went we've often spent 2 hours on mains, puddings and coffee on a regular Sunday however they were much quicker on Xmas day (I can't remember the exact time it took).

Needmorelego · 26/11/2023 21:32

Sounds hideous.
The idea that you (or someone else) can pop outside with her for a break/go to a nearby park....what if it's absolutely pissing it down on Christmas Day? Plus it will be starting to get dark around half 3.
Seriously.....you are possibly going to be trapped inside a (probably) loud and stuffy pub. Why would anyone want to put a 2 year old into that environment?
Say no. If your parents don't like it then tough luck to them.