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Original poster

5 course Christmas dinner out with a 2yo

138 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 17:59

We're going out for Christmas dinner this year with my parents, it's a 5 course meal and my DD is coming she is 2 (almost 3)

She is excellent for her age at sitting at a table however, the pub we're going to (which has a lovely friendly atmosphere) is notoriously slow and there are 5 courses. I was already a little concerned but I didn't imagine there would be so many courses.

They are doing two servings, one at 12 and one at 2

We said to my parents we would really rather the 12 as the pub might be a bit more efficient with the food as they'll know they have more people coming at 2pm but they insisted they want 2pm

Every time I raise my concern with my mum she just kind of ignores me or says it will be fine

I know if I said we weren't coming she would be really upset and yet I feel like she's not being realistic and I think there's a possibility we won't have a nice time because the expectation of my toddler is not realistic

What do you think? She's the only child there with 4 adults so my mum says we will all be able to try to keep her entertained

There's also the other factor that my parents are paying for the Christmas dinner, it's really expensive and I feel terrible about it but we have already spent a fortune on Christmas and I don't want us to spend even more. But I also don't feel like we can say no to going. I mean, I want to go, but I am feeling it's going to be hard work.

OP posts:
TheIsleOfTheLost · 26/11/2023 21:33

Can you parents come to yours if them cooking is an issue? It sounds like a truly terrible idea with most 2 year olds. I had 1 that was great at going out to cafes etc and even he would have been bored to destruction with a 5 course meal. There is only so much a 2 year old eats after all. My wild child would have been throwing things and disrupting the other diners before the bread arrived. Do you really want to spend your Christmas outside in the cold rain so she can run around while your parents eat inside without you? Even having domino's for dinner at home sounds better than that.

YourNameGoesHere · 26/11/2023 21:37

shsh6 · 26/11/2023 21:29

@YourNameGoesHere it was 5 course and we did start at 2. We had a late breakfast, as we would anyway - when we cook xmas dinner at home we typically don't start much sooner than 2 anyway.

The place op is going has stated 2 hours for the first sitting so I'd also expect 2 for the second sitting. The menus are obviously very slimmed down which helps them keep timings. Where we went we've often spent 2 hours on mains, puddings and coffee on a regular Sunday however they were much quicker on Xmas day (I can't remember the exact time it took).

Crikey you must have had amazingly tolerant children. 5 courses is genuinely bonkers to the most sensible child, even one who is often taken out for dinner.

I'm also really surprised it only lasted 2 hours. I think the OP would need to be 100% certain it wouldn't last any longer before agreeing.

Needmorelego · 26/11/2023 21:38

I mean I am constantly older than 2 but I would be bored after about 15 minutes 😂

fuckssaaaaake · 26/11/2023 21:40

SisterMichaelsHabit · 26/11/2023 18:47

God no this sounds like absolute hell on Earth. This is the worst plan ever.

What will actually happen is the adults will get completely absorbed talking to each other, you'll spend the whole time chasing around the pub after a bored two year old or trying to read "that's not my bee" for the fiftieth time in a row, you will get to eat three mouthfuls and your mum will say "this was so lovely let's do it again next year" (assuming no one comments on your parenting because even if you're a perfect parent someone will have something to say about how it's your fault a two year old couldn't sit still in a pub for hours over a 5 course meal).

And the food service will take hours.

She wants the 2pm slot so she's not in any hurry to leave and I suspect she wants to linger between courses chatting to people for ages too.

You would be much better off just having something at your own home and popping down to the pub to meet them all for a quick drink afterwards.

"Hell on earth, worst plan ever" 😂😂 how dramatic

SirChenjins · 26/11/2023 21:41

RedRobyn2021 · 26/11/2023 20:07

My mum and DD's dad will definitely help with her. There is a park nearby about a 5 minute drive.

I don't think we can get out of it without really upsetting my mum.

If I had my way, they would go for the meal and we would meet them at there house afterwards. I thought it would be 3 courses and I thought it would be a bit of work but we would manage but I don't think we can do 5 and the pub is slooooow. Last time we went we were waiting over an hour after ordering. It was a really unpleasant experience. I have been hoping that because it's all precooked the pub would be better at the timing.

Show quote history

Will they help - or will they do the bulk of it, leaving you free to enjoy your lunch? There’s a vast difference.

Needmorelego · 26/11/2023 21:42

@fuckssaaaaake have you met any 2 year olds?

andyourpointiswhat · 26/11/2023 21:45

Your mum might think choosing the later sitting will mean you have more time but as others have said it has been timed to serve 5 courses in 2 hours, I will bet the staff will be kicking you out at 4. They will want to go home too and the owners won’t want to pay Christmas Day rates longer than they have to. Our kids could have done 2 hours at that age with engagement from adults and some drawing stuff etc. I would lose your principles for one day (if you have them) and bring an iPad and headphones too. Try not to stress.

Lizzieregina · 26/11/2023 21:46

My kids would have been sound asleep at that age (afternoon nap!), so I wouldn’t have been going!

I’d bring all kinds of portable entertainment for her and maybe plan on you and DP taking turns to take her outside for a little walk if the weather permits.

SirChenjins · 26/11/2023 21:49

But seriously - who wants to spend 2 hours (or however long it turns out to be) constantly entertaining a young child with iPads and colouring books and books and opening small gifts while you’re trying to fork five courses into your mouth when there are other far more relaxing ways of spending Christmas Day?

LizHoney · 26/11/2023 21:50

I have a DC the same age. Treat it exactly like a flight.

1 Plan for a different toy/book/distraction/snack every 10mins. Take more than you think you could possibly need and then some.

2 Lots of pre chat about how she has to stay in her seat or the waitress will be unhappy. Save the walks til the last third of the meal because once you've gone there you can't go back.

3 If all else fails and you're desperate resort to iplayer on your phone with the sound off.

YourNameGoesHere · 26/11/2023 21:52

SirChenjins · 26/11/2023 21:49

But seriously - who wants to spend 2 hours (or however long it turns out to be) constantly entertaining a young child with iPads and colouring books and books and opening small gifts while you’re trying to fork five courses into your mouth when there are other far more relaxing ways of spending Christmas Day?

Well quite. I mean it sounds shit for the child, shit for the OP, shit for the other diners when the poor kid inevitably loses her shit and it's likely costing a small fortune. I'd just stay home personally, Christmas shouldn't be that stressful and shit. Grin

Daisies12 · 26/11/2023 21:53

Poor kid that’s so unfair. I don’t know Why anyone of you would want to do that. Christmas Day is for chilling out, not trying to make a toddler sit at a table.

Daisies12 · 26/11/2023 21:54

I’d be annoyed if I was another diner too, I’m sure it’s very expensive.

Daisies12 · 26/11/2023 21:55

Just get everything premade from Cook or similar and have a relaxed day at home

WonderLife · 26/11/2023 21:58

We went out for Christmas dinner when DC1 was almost 3 and it was one of our best Christmases!

We didn't buy him a meal, he just ate crisps and pigs in blankets.

Take an ipad and headphones and sticker books etc and just relax and enjoy!

Morred · 26/11/2023 21:59

OP you might want to game out with your DP how you’ll react if it doesn’t work out on the day. What’s the red line for giving up? Is there a secret signal that one of you needs to swap out from the child wrangling right now?

How will your parents react? DP’s Mum would be hurt but gracious and try to keep things light and then never mention it again (or not for years). My own Mum would not be able to help
herself from “remembering” that she definitely took me and my sister out at this age (to the Ritz, single handed, for a 10 course dinner) and make subtle comments on how parenting has changed and “but I suppose we never had screens to rely on” tinkly laugh. One of those is obviously easier to deal with than the other!

If you think about potential issues beforehand there’s less chance that you’ll say something in the what of the moment that you’ll regret later. It is quite high risk for it to become “the time you RUINED CHRISTMAS”.

megletthesecond · 26/11/2023 22:00

Nope. Not 2yr old friendly at all. She'll get cranky and you and her dad will spend all the meal tag-teaming with her.

PenguinLove1 · 26/11/2023 22:02

I think it will be fine, if the first sitting is two hours then the second one is likely to be too - their staff will want to go home after it so will want to be efficient.

Remember out of the 5 courses, one will be sorbet or soup, and one will be the teas/coffees at the end, so someone could take her a quick wander before the main, and you could always leave at dessert rather than have the tea/coffee if she was struggling.

But 4 of you there to help her, bring lots of small things to keep her amused and enjoy it!

SunsetApple · 26/11/2023 22:05

I have a hard enough time sitting through 5 courses of slow service, as Christmas lunch always is. I think you are being very optimistic that a two year old will manage and you will be spending lunch trying to entertain the poor child.

YorkshireIndie · 26/11/2023 22:18

Take the iPad. The best thing we did was train my child to watch programmes with out the sound on 😬

Cocothepoodle · 26/11/2023 22:24

Sounds like a crap Christmas day for your child, it'll be such hahard

YourNameGoesHere · 26/11/2023 22:25

YorkshireIndie · 26/11/2023 22:18

Take the iPad. The best thing we did was train my child to watch programmes with out the sound on 😬

Doesn't sound very exciting for a 2 year old to be ignored and left with an iPad for entertainment for several hours on Christmas day.

DontLeanOnTheKeyboard · 26/11/2023 22:27

Phone/ipad and favourite movie. It’s one day.

Pieceofpurplesky · 26/11/2023 22:33

I've been out for a few Christmas lunches and they are all really quick as the menu is limited and staff want to get home.
I reckon 2.5 hours max. Ring them and ask them you can stop worrying.

DS never had an iPad when out but I would make it a special Christmas treat and stick something Christmassy on if they get too bored.

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/11/2023 22:36

In years gone by I used to work in a pub / restaurant that served Christmas lunch and the second sitting was just as fast as the first, because we had homes to go to. I think we opened at 11, closed at 5. Sittings at 12 & 2.

The pub was empty and doors locked by 5 on the dot.