Page 5 | 5 course Christmas dinner out with a 2yo

RedRobyn2021 · 2023-11-26T17:59:59+00:00

We're going out for Christmas dinner this year with my parents, it's a 5 course meal and my DD is coming she is 2 (almost 3) She is excellent for her age at sitting at a table however, the pub we're going to (which has a lovely friendly atmosphere) is notoriously slow and there are 5 courses. I was already a little concerned but I didn't imagine there would be so many courses. They are doing two servings, one at 12 and one at 2 We said to my parents we would really rather the 12 as the pub might be a bit more efficient with the food as they'll know they have more people coming at 2pm but they insisted they want 2pm Every time I raise my concern with my mum she just kind of ignores me or says it will be fine I know if I said we weren't coming she would be really upset and yet I feel like she's not being realistic and I think there's a possibility we won't have a nice time because the expectation of my toddler is not realistic What do you think? She's the only child there with 4 adults so my mum says we will all be able to try to keep her entertained There's also the other factor that my parents are paying for the Christmas dinner, it's really expensive and I feel terrible about it but we have already spent a fortune on Christmas and I don't want us to spend even more. But I also don't feel like we can say no to going. I mean, I want to go, but I am feeling it's going to be hard work.

SunsetApple · 26/11/2023 22:39

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/11/2023 22:36

In years gone by I used to work in a pub / restaurant that served Christmas lunch and the second sitting was just as fast as the first, because we had homes to go to. I think we opened at 11, closed at 5. Sittings at 12 & 2.

The pub was empty and doors locked by 5 on the dot.

Not my experience though. Long waits between courses because the kitchen has to get a lot of dishes out at roughly the same time.

Nomorecoconutboosts · 26/11/2023 22:49

We did this almost exact scenario but Boxing Day not Christmas Day, mil not dm.
pils seemed to tailor the day to the opposite of what might include my (just) 3 year old and dh’s younger niece. Including starting an hour earlier than lunch for a relaxing drink in the (small, freezing, cramped) bar.
and afterwards back to pils to watch an adult family member open their birthday presents. The service was slow and the meal basically reheated Xmas dinner. (At least yours will be fresh!)
2 hours in dd ‘escaped’ from her seat. Dh went after her, fil tipped back on his chair in a leisurely manner to sarcastically point out that she was out of her seat.

She and niece has some bread and butter and the melon starter and that was them done, that was like the equivalent of their normal sandwich lunch and then they neede their naps…

(Tbf this was one of the nicer days we had with them. Totally self absorbed people always on their terms no leeway)

BlairWaldorfOG · 26/11/2023 22:51

Granted this might not be the dream Christmas lunch for you guys but I doubt it will be hell on earth if your 2 year old is relatively good at being at the dinner table, so if it's important to your mum I'd probably go with it this year. Stickers, colouring book and emergency iPad👍🏼worst case scenario your child can't handle the length of the meal and you go after your mains, tell your mum ahead of time that you'll be leaving if your daughter gets overwhelmed.

You then tell your mum January you want to do lunch in your own house or whatever is better for you guys.

For what it's worth we went out last year, our daughter had just turned 2 and my son was 3, older daughters 6 and 7 and whilst we weren't having 5 courses it was a really nice restaurant and the service when we were out was so slow we sat for dinner at 2 and were there until almost 6pm (we didn't realise at the time that this restaurant was having major financial issues and shut a week later hence the very slow food prep🙃). We're staying home this year but the 3, 6 and 7 year olds asked to go again this year so it couldn't have been that bad.

Bloobloo · 26/11/2023 22:57

5 courses does sound like a lot for a two year old. Take lots of toys, a tablet/colouring etc. Could you wrap up 5 small presents for her to open with each course? Just small, fun things and she has to wait until the next course to have the next present? Could even be wrapped up pass the parcel style with a tiny gift under each layer? Definitely tag team and take it in turns ti walk her around the restaurant/look at decorations/get fresh air outside etc. Enjoy and take it as it comes.

OnceUponATimeInChristmasTime · 26/11/2023 23:01

Can totally understand you wanting to go out for lunch this year. But 5 courses on Christmas Day would be too much for me! I'd not even contemplate taking such a young child. So much of the day will be lost.
I would insist on the earlier sitting or offer to meet them there for a drink instead.

Snugglemonkey · 26/11/2023 23:04

thelonemommabear · 26/11/2023 18:44

Yeah I wouldn't take my two olds to a 5 course dinner - all well and good saying lots of adults there to entertain them but 2 year olds don't want entertaining by adults for several hours in a restaurant- at some point they are going to want to get down and walk around etc do anything but sit at a table ....

Totally agree. It will take hours and it just will not be fun for a 2 year old.

Snugglemonkey · 26/11/2023 23:13

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 26/11/2023 19:19

Why not give dd her lunch before you get there? Your dm doesn't get to decide your dd will be eating lunch around 3pm if it isn't appropriate for your toddler... If she wastes her food surely that's dm to blame not your dd?

It is not about food waste though. At least the eating part would entertain the toddler for those bits.

BritneyBookClubPresident · 27/11/2023 00:27

SisterMichaelsHabit · 26/11/2023 18:47

God no this sounds like absolute hell on Earth. This is the worst plan ever.

What will actually happen is the adults will get completely absorbed talking to each other, you'll spend the whole time chasing around the pub after a bored two year old or trying to read "that's not my bee" for the fiftieth time in a row, you will get to eat three mouthfuls and your mum will say "this was so lovely let's do it again next year" (assuming no one comments on your parenting because even if you're a perfect parent someone will have something to say about how it's your fault a two year old couldn't sit still in a pub for hours over a 5 course meal).

And the food service will take hours.

She wants the 2pm slot so she's not in any hurry to leave and I suspect she wants to linger between courses chatting to people for ages too.

You would be much better off just having something at your own home and popping down to the pub to meet them all for a quick drink afterwards.

This

comfyshoes2022 · 27/11/2023 01:42

I think your DM is being inconsiderate in terms of the time. The parents of the youngest child should be able to say what would be best for the child’s schedule. This is the best option for everyone to enjoy themselves. Do you not need to worry about the nap schedule too?

RoseGoldEagle · 27/11/2023 02:46

I have a just turned 3 year old who is great at sitting patiently throughout meals (unlike her older siblings who found it a lot harder, she just is naturally a bit more chilled)- and I’d still not want to do this. Your Mum isn’t thinking about your DD at all here- a meal out sounds lovely for the adults, but 5 courses and at 2pm when you have a 2 year old? I’d not be keen at all, but agree that 12pm would be the only way I’d do it. By 2pm she’ll either be starving or more likely not hungry at all as you’ll have to have given her something beforehand- which makes it worse because she then won’t be particularly occupied even when the courses come out. Plus she’ll be tired by that time too, post lunch slump and all that. It’s something I’d ‘get through’ if I had to, but not something I’d choose!

mugofstew · 27/11/2023 03:42

I happily took my pair to restaurants but I just don't see how a two pm timing works.
It is far too late for dc's lunch and too early for dinner so they aren't going to be hungry.
So you are going to have to entertain a bored and probably tired child who will already have had to eat their lunch.
Does your dc still nap?

safetyfreak · 27/11/2023 07:16

BritneyBookClubPresident · 27/11/2023 00:27

This

Show quote history

I agree with this post.

Why are you putting yourself through this? tell your mum NO as your child is too young.

Westfacing · 27/11/2023 07:36

Very odd of your mother to book a place that you know to be notoriously slow.

And having two lunch sittings, with five courses, on Christmas Day is a recipe for a kitchen meltdown!

CactusPat · 27/11/2023 08:03

What time does your toddler nap?
Will they actually eat any of the menu?
Do you want Christmas day to be focused on what your Mum wants or how you would like to spend it with your child? (assuming by you worrying about meal that that may not be your number one choice with a little one in tow.)

I personally wouldn’t entertain this with my kids who are 4 and 2. A recipe for kids to bored and fussy, everyone to get stressed and you not to get any dinner. Grandparents have a great knack for forgetting eg that 3 hours at a dining table isn’t suitable for tinies and it’s your job to speak to/remind your Mum. A drink at the pub after dinner as suggested by PP seems the best idea imo.

NoCloudsAllowed · 27/11/2023 08:12

WhoNeedsFriends · 26/11/2023 18:54

Bring a bag with lots of toys and snacks and don't let her see what you have packed so everytime she whinges you can bring something new that she wasn't expecting out. Make sure you are assertive with your family by saying OK grandpa it's your turn now.
Maybe you could prep them all a bit to make it clear that you are expecting them to do their fair share of keeping your little one entertained.

This. You can probably do it but it will cost you a fair amount of patience and about £20 in distractions.

NoCloudsAllowed · 27/11/2023 08:14

isthewashingdryyet · 26/11/2023 20:54

Please don’t sit on the table next to me and my adult kids. I have saved so hard to be able to afford a lovely, grown up Christmas lunch, as it will be the last one before they fly off to be fully fledged adults.

an over excited two year old who had to leave her new toys at home is a recipe for a meltdown.

please don’t sit near me and mine.

@isthewashingdryyet what lovely Christmas spirit!

Sparkletastic · 27/11/2023 08:23

There are plenty of times in your life when having a relaxed 5 course lunch on Christmas Day will be enjoyable. The time when you have a toddler is not one of them. Your parents seem rather clueless to think this is a good plan.

Original poster

RedRobyn2021 · 27/11/2023 08:25

@isthewashingdryyet if that's your attitude you probably shouldn't be eating out at Christmas. Good luck.

OP posts:

Original poster

RedRobyn2021 · 27/11/2023 08:30

BlairWaldorfOG · 26/11/2023 22:51

Granted this might not be the dream Christmas lunch for you guys but I doubt it will be hell on earth if your 2 year old is relatively good at being at the dinner table, so if it's important to your mum I'd probably go with it this year. Stickers, colouring book and emergency iPad👍🏼worst case scenario your child can't handle the length of the meal and you go after your mains, tell your mum ahead of time that you'll be leaving if your daughter gets overwhelmed.

You then tell your mum January you want to do lunch in your own house or whatever is better for you guys.

For what it's worth we went out last year, our daughter had just turned 2 and my son was 3, older daughters 6 and 7 and whilst we weren't having 5 courses it was a really nice restaurant and the service when we were out was so slow we sat for dinner at 2 and were there until almost 6pm (we didn't realise at the time that this restaurant was having major financial issues and shut a week later hence the very slow food prep🙃). We're staying home this year but the 3, 6 and 7 year olds asked to go again this year so it couldn't have been that bad.

Thank

She is a relaxed and patient child, she likes going out for food actually. I wasn't that worried about 3 courses, it's the fact it's 5 it just seems like way too much

OP posts:

OdeToBarney · 27/11/2023 08:31

Granted my DC is only 19 months, not closer to three, but the idea of this is bringing me out in a cold sweat. Absolutely no way.

Whinge · 27/11/2023 08:33

RedRobyn2021 · 27/11/2023 08:25

@isthewashingdryyet if that's your attitude you probably shouldn't be eating out at Christmas. Good luck.

They're not alone in thinking a 2 year old will spoil the meal for other diners. It's really not a suitable time for them to eat, and no 2 year old wants to spend several hours sat at a table on Christmas day. It's not going to be an enjoyable experience for your child, the other diners and your family.

JussathoB · 27/11/2023 08:44

Change plan. Suggest your parents come to your house at a suitable time in the morning to see you and DC, share a coffee or Buck’s Fizz etc and play with their grandchild.
They then go off for their meal at restaurant and you enjoy the rest of your day.

AllWeWantToDo · 27/11/2023 08:45

Sounds like hell to me, my pre teens wouldn't really enjoy sitting for 5 courses never mind my dgc who range from 6 down to 1 . The 2 and 4 year olds don't eat much either so would probably get through 2 courses if we were lucky

If you are OK to try it then give it a go, your mum seems to think it will be OK and everyone well help out. Take her up on the offer. She may not want to do it again after she's had to eat cold food after taking her turn with dd

sashh · 27/11/2023 08:51

If she is not fully into santa then I'd not give her many presents in the morning. Take a couple to open at lunch.

Does she still have a pushchair? If so take it so she can have a nap (I think pubs are usually far too warm and make me sleepy).

Sunnydays41 · 27/11/2023 10:20

SisterMichaelsHabit · 26/11/2023 18:47

God no this sounds like absolute hell on Earth. This is the worst plan ever.

What will actually happen is the adults will get completely absorbed talking to each other, you'll spend the whole time chasing around the pub after a bored two year old or trying to read "that's not my bee" for the fiftieth time in a row, you will get to eat three mouthfuls and your mum will say "this was so lovely let's do it again next year" (assuming no one comments on your parenting because even if you're a perfect parent someone will have something to say about how it's your fault a two year old couldn't sit still in a pub for hours over a 5 course meal).

And the food service will take hours.

She wants the 2pm slot so she's not in any hurry to leave and I suspect she wants to linger between courses chatting to people for ages too.

You would be much better off just having something at your own home and popping down to the pub to meet them all for a quick drink afterwards.

This... sorry.

I appreciate that your mum doesn't want to host, but this only sounds like a solution for her.

What is wrong with the 12pm sitting? Surely that would be a good compromise. Your DD is going to be starving by, realistically by the time they've brought out the food, 2.30? I guess you could feed her something beforehand, but then she's not going to be hungry and even less likely to want to sit for hours at a table.