Why am I responsible for everyone’s happiness at Christmas?

[mioz]

I am the middle of 3 siblings (late 20s). Eldest sibling lives abroad, youngest still lives with one of our parents. Parents divorced around 10 years ago, amicable but still awkward when they are around eachother. Anyway I am always always always responsible for hosting Christmas every year! I don’t usually feel I can say no as no one else is in the position to be able to host (no space) which means we (DH and I) usually end up buying all food and drinks, cooking all day (missing out on spending time with our young kids), serving everyone and being left with all the cleaning and tidying post xmas and I’m so sick of it. People come over and don’t lift a fucking finger/offer to make a drink/get their own drinks etc. DM is extremely hard work and will sulk if things don’t go her way, she expects to be waited on basically. Tonight we’ve booked a cottage for next Christmas, just us and the kids but I dread telling my mum as I feel so responsible for her happiness. Why do I feel like this and how can I best break the news that we won’t be hosting her or anyone next Christmas?! I know she’ll be annoyed and will probably have a miserable time but I just don’t feel I should be responsible for everyone’s Christmas every year.

If Flo was my saboteur in 'bring the turkey'-gate, there would still be a way to fuck up: the turkey would be brought, but probably on the late side for being able to cook it for consumption (unless changing intended plans to evening meal from lunch - 'oh, but Sylvia has to go at 4? Oh, that's a shame....'). Reason given, something like having to drop presents in on the way to Uncle Martin, and we had a lovely coffee with him, couldn't say no, he's on his own till the 30th, sends his love, etc.

Seriously, there's unintentional, and there's absolutely textbook intentional, time after time, to get out of doing anything that would work best for the hosts.

Go and feel no guilt. Dont tell them yet, wait until about june or july or even august lol.
I just spend xmas day like the cook in Downtown Abbey. And to make matters worse dont even think Jesus was born in the dead of winter, i think he was born in sept/oct time.

🤣@Catgirl76 "Cook in Downton Abbey "!