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Original poster

Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:
Tigger7654 · 10/12/2022 20:14

That's too mean for a 9 year old. It'll ruin her Christmas and she'll remember it for the rest of her life. I guarantee they'll be little joy when she finally gets it in the evening after spending all day thinking Santa forgot it. I mean I don't mollycoddle my kids but this is very harsh.

Wayk · 10/12/2022 20:14

Absolutely horrendous, even if she bought a tablet and said Santa did not make enough iPads. That poor child will remember this for the rest of their life. Cruel is an understatement.

viques · 10/12/2022 20:15

Mean, a nine year old who still believes in Father Christmas is not going to learn a lesson about being humble by getting really upset on Christmas morning.

choose better ways to teach life lessons.

Bunnie007 · 10/12/2022 20:15

Please don’t do this. They are not being greedy, they are young and believe a magical man is bringing whatever they want! If you were not getting the iPad fine we could all help you to prepare them for this so they could avoid feeling really upset on Christmas Day. However you are so why would you want your child to feel upset. I think this is a really unhelpful thought pattern to want to ‘punish’ them for essentially behaving like a child 😳

Kennykenkencat · 10/12/2022 20:16

Why would your friend think this is going to make her Ds humble.

Disappointed, angry and taking it out on his siblings. Ridiculous parenting.

Does your friend often think things will go the way she thinks and doesn’t consider other peoples feelings or what they might do.

Weefreetiffany · 10/12/2022 20:16

Such unnecessary manipulation on what sounds like a sweet and sensitive child

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 10/12/2022 20:16

It's not just mean it's fucking stupid.

She's punishing her kid for being innocent and a child and believing in the magic of Santa (which I'm sure she has a lot to do with) . It's not teaching him to be humble, it's humiliating him for believing.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 10/12/2022 20:16

God you have overdone it!

PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd · 10/12/2022 20:16

I agree it's mean - in this house Father Christmas does not bring electronics like phones or iPads so not an issue, but the parents in this situation should have been managing expectations.

Crankley · 10/12/2022 20:17

Cruel, why would a parent do this to a child when this is likely their last year of believing,

Muddywaters1 · 10/12/2022 20:17

Just show her this thread and we will all tell her she's a fucking mean cow to even think about doing it

FermisLeftFoot · 10/12/2022 20:17

Please intervene!!! It’s a horrible horrible idea.

ZoeCM · 10/12/2022 20:18

You can't teach children that Santa exists and then blame them for believing it! If they believe Santa is magic, of course they believe he can get them an iPad. Very mean on the part of the parents.

LightHousePanda · 10/12/2022 20:18

I think it's stupid and won't teach them anything. I don't even get how it'll make them more humble as they're not in control of what's happening. They'll just get in a bad mood and it might not necessarily be changed when the ipad is later presented. Or they'll be in such a bad mood your friend will panic and then present it and it'll just be awkward.

I'd mention to her that it might make the child in a bad mood all day and it's not the child's fault as it's reasonable that they'll be uncomfortable seeing other children getting what they asked for. You can only say so much though.

Flapjackquack · 10/12/2022 20:18

I really wish people would read the OP’s posts before posting. Just click the button under the opening post and they all come up.

It’s not the OP, it’s her friend who wants to do this.

Nagado · 10/12/2022 20:18

Your friend has taught her child that Father Christmas will deliver anything he asks for and is now deciding, because he has believed her, that he needs bringing down a peg or two? Your friend is an arsehole.

IsItThough · 10/12/2022 20:19

unbelievably horrible and likely to have the opposite of the desired affect

dcut · 10/12/2022 20:20

Awful
I don't understand why your "friend" has allowed this situation to develop. If they could afford the ipad I don't know why they told the child they couldn't which then led to the "Well, Santa will get it for me" situation. If they couldn't afford the ipad then they should have been managing expectations long ago.
They also shouldn't have let the child tell everyone they are getting an ipad - a gentle reminder not to do this would have dealt with that, and if she needed several reminders, so be it.

The whole thing is awful and has been badly managed and to go through with the scenario described above is beyond mean.
It will cause a mega drama on Christmas day for everyone and spoil the atmosphere.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 10/12/2022 20:21

And then, when they find out that you are Santa they will realise you were a mean bitch that year about the iPad.
IRL this is exactly why my DC have a small stocking from Santa and everything else is under the tree so appropriate thank you’s can be made.

userlotsanumbers · 10/12/2022 20:22

What a knob. They don't like their kids much, do they? I'd go so far as to say that it's cruel, certainly its unnecessary.

Fuckitydoodah · 10/12/2022 20:23

Absolutely pointless and cruel. It's not like the siblings are receiving particularly 'humble' presents.

This is why santa brings the stockings and we give the main presents. Easier to manage their expectations.

ReneBumsWombats · 10/12/2022 20:23

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:15

I'm not the parent. Btw.
My friend is going to do this.
I'm trying to guage if my reaction/thoughts are "right". I'm thinking it's a fucking pointless and mean thing to do and the kid will be miserable and confused the entire day and will (quite rightly) be upset by it all and end up angry/crying etc
And probably never forgive or forget the "lesson".

I'm inclined to agree. I read it twice and I still don't understand what the entire rigmarole is supposed to achieve. Santa exists but won't get you this, you don't get this, then you get it to learn a moral lesson about not getting it? What?

I'm not convinced the 9 year old really believes, most likely just sees it as a way to manipulate parents into getting certain gifts. I know Santa is fun for young ones but when it gets to the point of deliberately trying to stunt their critical thinking to keep the "magic" alive, for your own desires, it's got to stop.

Milesty1 · 10/12/2022 20:24

Don’t see the point?! Mean mean mean

Bumpsadaisie · 10/12/2022 20:25

Mean!!!!

Why would you do that? It's our job to teach children but not in a mean vindictive way.

Tessabelle74 · 10/12/2022 20:25

Extremely mean!