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Original poster

Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:
airey · 10/12/2022 20:26

Mean, manipulative - and parents wonder when kids start turning round and manipulating them back!!!

The person that thinks this is a good idea badly needs to read ‘The Book You’ll Wish Your Parents Had Read’ by Philippa Perry

Ericaequites · 10/12/2022 20:26

Each child should receive their large present at the same time.

VeggieSalsa · 10/12/2022 20:26

At 9, the child may well be testing if Santa does exist and in their mind (which is starting to disbelieve) this is a great test to see if Santa can bring a present parents can’t afford.

If they don’t get the present, they might announce that Santa doesn’t exist in front of siblings.

If they do get it, it might be truly magical for the last year of them believing.

in any event - an awful idea.

DailyMailReporterTellMeAllYourSecrets · 10/12/2022 20:27

Mean. They could end up being sad all day for no reason.

FictionalCharacter · 10/12/2022 20:27

Not just mean, but really spiteful and the kind of thing the child would remember for the rest of his life.

Trinity65 · 10/12/2022 20:28

I think that is Mean especially as the siblings are getting expensive gifts to unwrap Chrismas morning.
I would remember that Christmas as the Year Mum was mean to Me.

Silvers11 · 10/12/2022 20:29

I hope you can convince your friend that this is a truly horrible and very mean thing to do. What on earth does 'make her more humble mean?' It will just spoil not only her day but the rest of the families too. Absolutely appalling that anyone thinks that is a way to teach her 'a lesson'. What lesson exactly for FFS?

DemelzaandRoss · 10/12/2022 20:30

It would appear that nearly all of us think you would be/are mean.
I question your mental state as I can’t believe any parent would engineer such a horrible thing towards their child on Christmas Day. Extremely worrying.

Flapjackquack · 10/12/2022 20:32

DemelzaandRoss · 10/12/2022 20:30

It would appear that nearly all of us think you would be/are mean.
I question your mental state as I can’t believe any parent would engineer such a horrible thing towards their child on Christmas Day. Extremely worrying.

@DemelzaandRoss - Read the OP’s posts, she is not the parent!

Schoolchoicesucks · 10/12/2022 20:33

I don't understand the "lesson" the parent is trying to teach. I do understand how frustrating it can be for 'Santa' to take the credit for expensive, hard-earned gifts. But parents should be able to take pleasure and joy from the child's reaction rather than needing to feel the gratitude directed at them. How will the child feel to see their siblings receive their much-desired gifts while thinking that neither Santa nor their parent came through for them? What is the parent planning to say when the gift does turn up? That Santa brought it? So why bother delaying and having the child being disappointed all day? That the parent brought it? So why didn't they look harder for it in the morning if they knew it should be there? To "hint" that Santa doesn't exist? Why not wait until a time after Christmas? No need to extinguish the story on Christmas Day is there?

Readaboutyourself · 10/12/2022 20:34

Horribly mean

TortolaParadise · 10/12/2022 20:34

Perhaps there are other on-going ways to teach a (life long needed) lesson in humility and gratitude.

littlepeas · 10/12/2022 20:36

What the hell did I just read? Don't be a dick.

XingMing · 10/12/2022 20:36

Santa only brings little thing, decreasing in value with age, so if there's an iPad waiting, it comes clearly labelled with love from Mum and Dad.

Inastatus · 10/12/2022 20:38

Terrible idea!

Livinginanotherworld · 10/12/2022 20:39

Awful 😳 what a horrid thing to do.

PMAmostofthetime · 10/12/2022 20:41

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

We regular hide an expensive gift on ad how's years not until the afternoon boy sometimes it appears in their bedroom, other times under the tree or in the kitchen.

I think it's a great idea.
All my family also tell the children that we as
The parents send the money for gifts to Santa and Santa decides if your on the naughty or nice list of your on the nice list he brings presents out of the money and a all gift off him and if your naughty you get coal and your parents lose the money.

Makes they have realistic expectations.

ThatshallotBaby · 10/12/2022 20:42

@AFewScrewsLucy
What are you going to say to your mate?

Ihaveamagicwand · 10/12/2022 20:43

HRFT but much too high an expectation for a Santa present in my opinion. My children were always reminded that Santa had lots of children all over the world to provide presents for and they shouldn’t ask for too expensive a present.

We also used the increasing number of babies needing stockings as the reason Santa had to ask Mums & Dads to take over providing older children’s stockings at around 8 or 9. Both strategies worked for ours.

Beelezebub · 10/12/2022 20:43

Awful, awful, awful

Beach11 · 10/12/2022 20:44

Awful

Cakeandcardio · 10/12/2022 20:44

How are they not being humble? Aren't they just believing in something so magical that disappointment doesn't exist? How lovely. Why any parent would be a dick about that I don't know. Weird.

OldWivesTale · 10/12/2022 20:45

Horrible

Flapjackquack · 10/12/2022 20:45

PMAmostofthetime · 10/12/2022 20:41

We regular hide an expensive gift on ad how's years not until the afternoon boy sometimes it appears in their bedroom, other times under the tree or in the kitchen.

I think it's a great idea.
All my family also tell the children that we as
The parents send the money for gifts to Santa and Santa decides if your on the naughty or nice list of your on the nice list he brings presents out of the money and a all gift off him and if your naughty you get coal and your parents lose the money.

Makes they have realistic expectations.

Show quote history

I am struggling to understand your post but what I could understand I think is pretty poor parenting.

It doesn’t teach realistic expectations, it’s just manipulating young children’s emotions for adult’s entertainment.

darjeelingrose · 10/12/2022 20:45

Totally mean and this is on you. You got yourself into this situation, you did not have to and you only have yourself to blame, so suck it up and give the kid the i pad from santa and make sure you advise any friends with younger children to opt for the "santa brings the presents but the parents pay" version or similar.