Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

[AFewScrewsLucy]

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

I don’t understand why anyone would do that to their child. There are ways of teaching children the value of things, explaining that you work hard for the money to send presents to Santa for them, for example. Much better than ruining their day & spoiling the magic for them.

Really unkind and a memory that they will not forget. This is how to spoil
Christmas morning for the whole family. The time that children believe in the magic of Christmas is getting ever shorter. You should be cherishing this time for as long as you can.

I think it's mean because he doesn't understand what he's saying,he saying lies trotted out and you should have been better at managing his expectations when younger.

Our DC just told write lists And sometimes you may get a lot from it, sometimes nothing.
In fact we had a cute elf who came to stay exactly for this reason.
They came to spend time with the DC to see what sort of presents they may like should things on the list be unavailable.

Just to add a practical solution how about your friend writes a letter/note from Santa saying it was a bit much for him to afford on his own so he bought it together with mum's help to make sure he got his wish? I sort of get the angle but a 9yr old isn't mature enough to understand privilege and it should have been nipped in the bud as people have said by explaining Santa has a budget!

So the very person who told the 9 year old about Santa and has encouraged his continued belief is now going to play meanness overload on Xmas Day. Unbelievable.

It would be so mean and cruel of your friend to do this to her child. Reading your post took me straight back to a Christmas when I was about 7 years old. I still believed in Santa. I had three younger brothers and they all got lots of presents left in piles on the sofa and chair. My chair was empty. I had never felt as upset and bewildered as I was that Christmas morning. I was in tears as I thought Santa had forgotten me. After my brothers had started opening their gifts my mum told me to look behind my chair. There I found a woodentoy kitchen cabinet. I opened the cupboard door and out fell a pile of presents. I should have felt happy but I was still so heartbroken that I couldn't enjoy opening them. I am now 65 and that memory is still as clear in my mind as it was that Christmas morning. Please ask your friend not to even think about doing what she had planned about the Ipad. He might be like me and never forget it even when he's very old.

I agree. Father Christmas brings a stocking of small stuff. Presents under tree are from family/friends. So confused as to why this became a thing that ‘Santa’ brings everything. It’s nonsense.

I wouldn’t ever give big presents in stockings so would give the iPad separately but I would give it with the rest of the presents. ‘Forgetting’ it is just going to ruin your day and yes it’s mean.

sadistic

Absolutely pointless. Instead child should be sat down and told that Father Christmas also has had to make cut backs etc and can't afford to buy everyone an iPad

@ElliesAnma , that’s horrible. I’m so sorry you experienced that but thank you for sharing. It might stop others from doing something similar.

This is a you isn't it. Way to ruin your child's day who will likely remember it 👍🏼 great idea.

Mean. And pointless. It isn’t going to teach them anything.

if you wanted them to actually be humble you shouldn’t have got it.

Mean, they learn soon enough, but this memory may stay with him forever! 😔

Why on Earth would you be so mean if they are getting the iPad anyway???

Leave a note from Santa in the tree saying that he will show up with the iPad on the 26 if you want them to first enjoy the other presents but telling them that they are not getting it and that it is their fault is despicably mean if they are getting it anyway.

Despicable.

Why does he need to learn humility and how would this 'lesson' teach him to have some?
He has been brought up - by you-to think if he has been good Santa will bring him what he asked for, you didnt step in with any explanation as to why Santa isnt bringing it when this was first mentioned....... And he is going to get it anyway so what on earth is the point?! Do you think he is going to be upset and disappointed in isolation on Xmas morning, can you not see that this 'lesson' is going to ruin Christmas morning for everyone inc the younger siblings?

What a horrible thing to do. Jeez

Please don’t do this, your 9 year old could develop serious self-esteem issues as a result especially watching his younger siblings playing with their expensive gifts from Santa.
No he shouldn’t just assume that Santa will bring him an iPad but now is not the time to try and teach him about it.
Just enjoy your family Christmas and take his happy little face when he sees his iPad as all the reward you need.

Thank you. I hope so too. Christmas should be the best day of the year for a child.

Wow. Child is never going to forget that, how sad :(. Very mean

Why be a dickhead?

I cant understand why adults would take pleasure in bullying a child.

Its also not like an Ipad is out of line request when the other 2 are getting a dream house and switch, just a cruel grown up on a power trip.

Its one thing to not get it if you genuinely cant afford it (and its wierd to claim something so big is from santa) but this is just a nasty idea.

I can’t see why the parents don’t give the big gifts from themselves. They can see that Santa has to give so many children gifts that he asked the parents to get the big ones. Or something.

Mean, you won’t have too much longer of them believing

Extremely mean.