Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:
Longsleepneeded · 11/12/2022 17:46

Survey99 · 11/12/2022 16:16

Jeez, are you always this aggressive and unable to comprehend families do it different ways, neither are right or wrong, they choose what is right for them.

We always said all the gifts under the tree came from Santa, never had to mean or deceitful. And being honest about where any expensive gifts came from would not have changed whether he was "spoiled" or not. Never heard of anyone in RL who did stockings only from Santa, maybe it is less popular around here, but if that's how you prefer to do it, fair enough I am not going to insist you are wrong.

Show quote history

I know people do things differently, but look at the problems this causes every year! Why would you not want your children to know that special gifts are from you? How do you explain gifts to each other as adults or other family members? Why does Santa get presents for the children but the parents don't?

Dragonella · 11/12/2022 17:46

It can back fire especially with such a large present... I did that with one of my daughters presents when she was 10...we genuinely didn't think we could get hold of it and we found one 2 days before Christmas.. She told everyone on Christmas day that her most wanted present wasn't there but my son 'pretended' he found it in the bottom of his santa sack later that afternoon she wasn't impressed with me at all

SpiralHecate · 11/12/2022 17:47

Don't do it. Those parents who go viral for trolling their kids always look like assholes.

SofaLola33 · 11/12/2022 17:47

I can understand your reasoning but let DC have this as a last Christmas believing and for next year have a conversation with him about him.

Davygran · 11/12/2022 17:48

This is why it’s always a bad move for kids to believe Santa actually provides presents. I was always brought up to believe people buy presents & send them to Father Christmas for him to deliver if children have been good. I was astonished when a colleague at work said they had never had a clue who had bought presents & they never thanked anyone for them because Santa brought them all.

Thatgirl45 · 11/12/2022 17:48

In the kindest way possible I suggest you learn empathy. Imagine the pain inside that poor child on Christmas day (or any day) - I am sure you do not want to be the cause of that!

Grrrrdarling · 11/12/2022 17:50

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

Mean. They are just excited & if you have brought them up to think that Santa brings expensive gifts why wouldn’t they expect to get that gift from Santa.
Santa brings a game for the family or something of no more value than £20 in our house. Big gifts come from us.

SLeanne · 11/12/2022 17:50

Can't you just buy a cheaper version? At that age they probably won't notice. My daughter asked for an iPhone pro 11 or whatever it is. Ridiculous. My husband and I don't have devices that cost so much. They probably want to play Roblox on it and a few other games

KaleToChristmas · 11/12/2022 17:50

It doesn't make any sense. The child is not being arrogant, he has been told that Santa exists and brings things of this magnitude. It is a horrible thing to do. I worry what else this parent thinks is a good idea.

Mummadeze · 11/12/2022 17:50

Hope your friend changes her mind. Very mean and pointless.

SpiralHecate · 11/12/2022 17:50

I just saw that OP is not the parent in question. In which case I would advise advising the parents not to do this. Stunts like this often backfire and it's lousy to prank children.

Fernticket · 11/12/2022 17:51

Really mean and cruel.

SuperCamp · 11/12/2022 17:55

So, @AFewScrewsLucy are you going to talk with your friend?

And did you really not have the confidence of your own conviction to recognise this as a horrible thing to do?

In truth something like this would affect my friendship with anyone who could treat a child like this.

changeme4this · 11/12/2022 17:55

That’s mean! Look if you can’t afford an iPad or a reconditioned one (that’s the way I would have probably gone) he still deserves a present from Santa at the same time as his siblings.

however I would have nipped the expectation of “knowing what Santa is bringing” earlier on. That bit is on you as a parent to have managed better.

mumofgirl1 · 11/12/2022 17:56

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

It's not mean. We did this to my youngest brother a few years ago it wasn't to teach him a lesson. He'd asked for a console I can't remember which one it was at the time he's 22 now and I think he was around 10 at the time, we hid the console and didn't put it out with his other presents after opening his present he tried not to look disappointed that he didn't get said console about an hour or so later when we was out of the room having breakfast an extra present with his name "appeared" under the tree his face was a picture when he opened it and just added abit of magic to the last year he believed as he thought Santa had forgot to leave it and snook back in when we was all in the kitchen having breakfast. He still laughs about it now

bumpytrumpy · 11/12/2022 18:00

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:15

I'm not the parent. Btw.
My friend is going to do this.
I'm trying to guage if my reaction/thoughts are "right". I'm thinking it's a fucking pointless and mean thing to do and the kid will be miserable and confused the entire day and will (quite rightly) be upset by it all and end up angry/crying etc
And probably never forgive or forget the "lesson".

I would be reevaluating my friendship with this person. She is bullying her eldest and is doing serious damage. Why does she not treat him the same as the youngest ones? Why would she want him to think Santa has brought his siblings what they wanted but not him? That's just so mean.

BigMommafromBolton · 11/12/2022 18:01

Mean.
I don’t understand why you would want to cause such disappointment and ruin the day.

Wibbly1008 · 11/12/2022 18:02

TheYummyPatler · 10/12/2022 19:13

What are you imagining your 9 year old is going to do all Christmas Day? Sit and watch their siblings play with their big presents from Santa and contemplate the error of their ways?

This. Ridiculous post.

MissDaisySky · 11/12/2022 18:02

I don't celebrate, but wouldn't it be better if DC knows that his parents have forked out an exorbitant amount to give him what he likes? Let a cheaper gift be from Santa and then take the credit for gifting your child his heart's desire. Wear the crown. You deserve it.

Adkim · 11/12/2022 18:02

You are nuts to even consider playing such a prank on an innocent child. It's such a special day - why spoil it?

Icantfindmykeys · 11/12/2022 18:03

Really mean and when that child grows up they’ll always remember it as a really unkind and upsetting thing to happen.
My great great grandad once actually put coal in my great grandfathers Christmas stocking. He thought it was hilarious… every generation since has declared him an utter bastard.

Seahorsemama · 11/12/2022 18:03

So mean

pinkpantherpink · 11/12/2022 18:05

Expensive stuff came from Mum. Not father Christmas

sumayyah · 11/12/2022 18:08

Mean
What is the point the parents are trying to make?
If they didn't want their child expecting whatever they want from Santa then they shouldn't have told the child everything comes from the man in the red suit
It's too late now to change this expectation and not only will it ruin the day for the oldest it will leave an impression on the younger ones too
Give all the kids their gifts at the usual time with no fuckery

magicthree · 11/12/2022 18:08

It's mean, and I would say the parent has lost the meaning of Christmas somewhere. It's not about "teaching them to be more humble" - there are other days for doing that.