Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain
Take care

No of course not @TatianaBis - obviously he doesn’t🤷🏼‍♀️Are you deliberately trying to be nasty?! I host, care for a disabled child and my mother with dementia and look after the guests needs whilst they do fairly little. You utter plonker.

Dear mum if you don’t like my gift then do what everyone else does and hide it until we visit or smile politely and give it to charity and forget it ever existed. Don’t go all amateur dramatics on me about how nobody cares for you and no one can be bothered to get you a decent present especially when you won’t give anyone any realistic ideas (and yes Paul Hollywood is out of my price range) … you knew I’d been very unwell and had horrendous work deadlines in the weeks leading up to Christmas all while coping with DH’s never ending breakdown so I’m sorry the gift wasn’t to your satisfaction. You didn’t need to tell everyone at dinner I was ungrateful though. Bit of an exaggeration

@YuleiamsaidI

I was hoping not to wake up this morning,not been able to say that in RL.

@YuleiamsaidI - I’m sorry to read that. Do you want to tell us more about why you feel this way?

@DrSeuss

I am soooo glad I spent so much time searching for the perfect gift for my husband. He got from me tickets to his favourite musical, a calendar with stuff all about his main interest and two books on other interests, one by his favourite youtuber. Also his favourite chocolates.

I got a chocolates, several boxes, a number of which are ones I have said many times I dislike. I arranged gifts from our kids to him. He arranged nothing from the kids for me. His family and my brother also sent chocolates as, after many years of knowing me, that is the only thing they know about me and that barely. So, I spent hours online, carefully finding things. They spent five minutes in a supermarket.

Yes, I know that it's the thought that counts but I put in masses of thought and they all put in none!

I would remember this, if I were you, and next year put the time and care into buying presents for yourself.

Sod the rest of them.

@YuleiamsaidI

I was hoping not to wake up this morning,not been able to say that in RL.

@YuleiamsaidI I am so sorry to hear that, it is really sad. Please try to find someone in real life you can talk to

My mother has a thing about drinking, any more than what she would drink (probably 2 glasses of wine over several hours) is having too much.....ever. She assumes that anyone laughing and being a bit loud is pissed. My father, who is only allowed to have one drink a couple of times a week, gets let off the leash at Xmas so goes a bit ott but not massively so, he just gets a bit gobby. She is like this about everything, if you do anything differently to her then you are WRONG. End. Of.

I had 4 glasses of wine over 7 hours. DD1 didnt have any, DS1 didnt have any and DD2 did but took herself off to bed when it went to her head a bit, she was the quietest. My father was being loud and know-it-all about something we were doing but no harm done, everyone else was being loud as we were playing a very competitive game (think and Uno type thing where you can stitch each other up). She refused to join in.

She was in a foul mood. Had a go at me for being "so drunk", got in a right sulk with my father who said "oh God forbid I should have a bit of fun occasionally!" so that didnt help!

I went to pick my car up at 1pm on Boxing day, I had finished my last glass of wine at 6pm Xmas day and she threatened to not hand over my car keys as I would still be "massively" over the limit.

A discussion has been had with me and the DC and we have agreed that I will host next year and my mother and father can attend as they wish. Hunch tells me that she will refuse to come until father says he is coming and then she will come because of FOMO.....

Sick of her being a joy vampire and sucking the fun out of everything when she has a mood on. The thing is, when she is in a good mood she can be the life and soul but when she isnt........ wish she would grow the fuck up and stop being so bloody mardy.

Dd1: no, I don't have lots of money. I bloody work hard and plan carefully. So no, it's not fucking ok to leave food hidden in drawers going mouldy, throw stuff around, wreck your recently decorated room and then shrug at me for "being dramatic" when I tell you off.

Dd2: I realise that you find your presents really exciting but I don't have the same enthusiasm or time to know loads of marvel stuff. Please stop following me around asking me the questions. And when you do leave me alone stop taking offence that Dd1 doesn't always agree with you. You don't need to have a complete meltdown about it.

Exh: it would be really nice if you could actually communicate with me rather than randomly messaging the kids to make plans. I rather value my child free time so it would be nice to know about it in advance so I can make plans. Also, stop telling the kids that I have more money than you - you out-earn me, you have a wife that works, if you have nothing left at the end of the month then maybe try being more careful with your spending

Can’t wait for mine to go back to school.

Limpet is an understatement. I’m suffocated. The house is an absolute bomb site and it’s making me angry I’ll clean something and I go back in and it’s trashed. It’s not my bloody clothes littering half the house. I’m fucked off with it.

Reading with intrigue

Exh: it would be really nice if you could actually communicate with me rather than randomly messaging the kids to make plans. I rather value my child free time so it would be nice to know about it in advance so I can make plans. Also, stop telling the kids that I have more money than you - you out-earn me, you have a wife that works, if you have nothing left at the end of the month then maybe try being more careful with your spending

This.

DMIL, you said you did not want to come over for Xmas/Boxing Day for lunch. You didn’t want us over as you don’t want to cook, and you didn’t want us to take you for a meal out. OK. That’s no problem at all.

So, We came by to drop off a hamper of goodies for you to eat and visited, subsequently sent flowers, and DH spent Christmas eve sorting out your lost bank card on the phone. He came by on Boxing Day to replace your cellar lights with LEDs and check the electrics because you were worried. He also did shopping for you and gave you cash as your bank card hadn’t arrived. We then called to make sure you were all right on Christmas and for the next few days. That’s no problem either.

But don’t then ask him today to come over yet again to fix one light in an upstairs room you don’t use. It isn’t an emergency. We need time to relax too. DH has spent countless weekends over the past 30 years fixing your house. You have almost a million quid in the bank…how about hiring a workman for once please? we have referrals. We love you, but we have lives too, and DH doesn’t need to be on a ladder every other weekend at your house after a full work week. He’s almost 58 and has been doing this for you since he’s been 21. Give him a break.

I really want to sleep with my BIL. I get the feeling he feels the same.

I'm also feeling very fucking disgruntled at my family back in the UK for their lack of effort to communicate. It's pitiful and I just feel now that they CBA. It's me making the effort ALL the time. They can't figure out facetime/skuoe/Google meet/WhatsApp etc?? Give me a break

DP and I have split up. We're still living together for now but in different rooms, the relationship is over.

We've been with the ILS for Christmas till NYE and are playing happy families, neither our DC nor the ILs know.

Turns out it's fairly easy to play along with this charade as:

a. I now realise I've been going through the motions for years so going on autopilot is easy

b. The ILs never ask me anything about my life and seem actively uninterested in most things I say. BIL especially just wants to talk at me.

I really wish I could send spiteful, toxic, troublemaking extended family members on a one way trip into space! I’ve had enough of all of their button pushing and spite over Christmas and they ALWAYS crawl out from under their rocks this time of year. I’ve daydreamed about it so much this Christmas. I feel massively angry inside that karma never bites these people.

DH, I'm happy you are able to prepare some of the traditional foods that remind you of your childhood, but the mess you leave behind beggars belief! True, I benefit from some of it, too, but there are so many disgustingly greasy bowls, pans, etc.! You say you'll do the washing up, but almost inevitably it falls to me (because you have to go back to work and I give in to the need for a clean kitchen).

BIL, you're better than you used to be, but you still have a knack for asking awkward questions and irritating me. I'm glad we don't have to live under the same roof, because you'd drive me mad.

I'm glad it's done! I look forward to Christmas every year, but it's exhausting, and I always forget the dark side of it, the work, stress, sadness, and disappointment!

Very glad my DM & DF have left the building as their poor manners made me cringe the whole time they were here.

Dropping DMIL at the airport tomorrow and then the DSC arrive until new year - I know plans change and we should be flexible but I just want some alone time now.

I’m in the doghouse today for not having made enough effort for my wedding anniversary. I’m totally burnt out with Christmas and the year that’s gone by.
I will make sure we mark it somehow I just don’t have the energy today, is that really terrible?

DM don't expect me to do your dirty work for you like telling X that we are going to Y house after you told X you cook Xmas dinner for me and you. Also when Y or I ask you for some help or support can you once say yes and stop giving us excuses. We have both noticed that you help out and support your other children far more than us. Also neither of us want to hear your complain about the smallest thing.
Can you also stop the little barbed comments if we say or do something you don't like.
It getting to a stage now that I will say something soon if your attitude does not improve.

Sorry mil but next year you will not be staying. I will not have you dropping all your stuff at your arsed and staying in my spare room when you live 20 minutes away. I can’t take the noises you make …what is that clicking thing you do with your teeth? Just stop!!!! Stop talking at us about people we don’t know… I especially do not want to look in my spare room and see your false teeth placed on my work laptop and your dirty scants slung on my work chair!!!

I’m in US with DH. Sent here by his company literally just before lockdown. Been on our own over here for 2 years now ( through Trump, COVID, batshit right wing politics and worst of all separation from our sons due to COVID travel restrictions). Our boys made it out here this Christmas - joy! They brought with them small Christmas gifts from my MIL. Sons and husband got a T-shirt and I got a necklace that honest to God looks like it came out of a cracker. We zoomed the other family members on Christmas Day and we certainly seem to be on the naughty list(MIL is not financially challenged). We got nothing at all from DH’s siblings ( not even cards). I sent a large box of cards and gifts back in October. All gifts we sent were carefully chosen, craft items ( garden sculpture, handmade jewellery etc) and it cost an arm and a leg to post it to the U.K. I sent the box off early as post here in the US is a political football and therefore very slow. This box was received by MIL in November yet nothing was reciprocated except for the cheap items my sons brought over from just my MIL I.e nothing from my 2 SILs and BIL. Feeling really hurt especially as MIL made a comment about visiting us here for a sunshine holiday as soon as Covid subsides and travel is safer. Been so isolated over here I do want visitors but really hurt by the cracker toy necklace I’ve just been given as a Christmas gift when I’ll be expected to play generous host.

Dear elderly relative. Please don’t kick your fingers at the table. That is what the napkin is for.

ds had us over for the day in his new home with his fairly new gf.
he did not buy dd a present
i had heard him saying to his gf that she never gets him anything so he wasnt getting her anything,
however i know that is not true.
my dc always make an effort to buy presents for each other.
i am very upset but there is nothing i can do

Adult dd "can I help?"
Me "Yes, could you peel/cut the carrots?"
Her"No, I draw the line at that"
She had just woken up from a solid 2 hr sleep"
There were no carrots on the table and next year I'm not fucking cooking Christmas Dinner. I've done it for 26 years. Not doing it ever again.