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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

564 replies

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 27/12/2021 10:22

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

OP posts:
Christmas1988 · 27/12/2021 20:34

My husband wanted me to write a list of gifts so he doesn’t get me anything I won’t use, perfect i though!

I asked for
Nice hand wash
Nice soap
Fancy shampoo
Some nice knickers
Pjs

I thought that was quiet easy… turns out not, I received
Cheaply Antibacterial hand wash 79% extra free 🙄
One bar of dove soap
Head and shoulders shampoo
Pack of 6 plain black M&S knickers
100% polyester pjs

He was so pleased with himself I didn’t burst his bubble but I felt like I was unloading the regular shopping not my Christmas gifts!

Ginflinger · 27/12/2021 20:41

@DifficultBloodyWoman

I love my husband dearly and he is a wonderful man but if we have to do one more thing ‘together’, I’m going to start digging the foundations of a patio.
"Digging foundations of a patio" haha!
CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain · 27/12/2021 20:54

This was almost certainly DHs last Christmas. He does not currently want to know his full prognosis and leaves that knowledge to me. I think he just needs time to adapt.

Our 5 children know he is ill but currently have no idea of what really lies ahead.

I pulled on my big girl pants and pushed the boot out to make this Christmas incredibly happy and fun whilst having the odd weep when out with the dog stomping around the the fields.

I hope they carry wonderful memories with them of this week forever.

Next set of results next week when it may be time to start having hard conversations.

maddiemookins16mum · 27/12/2021 20:55

I’m bored shitless and can’t wait to go back to work.

waterlego · 27/12/2021 21:00

@CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain. Well done for making Christmas wonderful while carrying that burden of being the only one who really knows the full picture. I can’t imagine how difficult that was. You sound like an amazing woman. Flowers

Sellingstress · 27/12/2021 21:05

Great thread!
MIL please can you move off the sofa with your big lanky strip of a greyhound (the pair of you are hogging half the seats) and allow my young dog to come through from the kitchen too while your at it. Oh no, we can’t, puppies make your dog nervous. And yes, my 6 & 9 year old boys can be quite noisy over Xmas and, oh yes, they are making the fucking dog nervous too, aren’t they?

And DM - I’m trying to do this all on my own here - can you get off the other sofa and join in rather than coming all this way to watch the strictly come dancing in silence which you can watch anytime at home?

Ah better. Love them both btw. Including the lanky greyhound.

SituationCritical · 27/12/2021 21:08

@CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain

This was almost certainly DHs last Christmas. He does not currently want to know his full prognosis and leaves that knowledge to me. I think he just needs time to adapt.

Our 5 children know he is ill but currently have no idea of what really lies ahead.

I pulled on my big girl pants and pushed the boot out to make this Christmas incredibly happy and fun whilst having the odd weep when out with the dog stomping around the the fields.

I hope they carry wonderful memories with them of this week forever.

Next set of results next week when it may be time to start having hard conversations.

Flowers all my best wishes and love to you
noirchatsdeux · 27/12/2021 21:09

No DP, I don't want to talk on the phone with your mother that I have been NC with for 7 and a half bloody years - she's your mother, not mine, I don't have to have any relationship with her if I don't want. You also know that this time of year is incredibly difficult for me, this year even worse as I had to spend it completely alone due to no family and having covid, so fucking think next time.

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 27/12/2021 21:12

I love my kids. I've missed them horribly while they're with their dad. It's the first ever Christmas apart from them. BUT... I'm horribly ill with a stinking cold and I don't actually want them back just yet. One more day is not enough. Not only have I not done any of the multitude of household chores I wanted and needed to do but i still feel like I've been hit by a bus.

Bumpsadaisie · 27/12/2021 21:27

DMIL

We love you but please ... just give up a tiny bit of control in the kitchen. You'd be calmer for it and you never know you might like to be looked after by your sons, DILs and DGCs, once in a while.

Your loving DIL#3

Pasithea · 27/12/2021 21:33

I’m dangerously unwell. I’m nc with both parents and DSis. My Mother forgets as she has altzeimers and forgets and rings me as if nothings happened , or asks what’s she’s done wrong . Which inevitably ends in a row.as I now refuse to discuss it. I am due for surgery and not telling them anything.

bloodywhitecat · 27/12/2021 21:37

I love DH to the ends of the earth and back again but this has been my hardest Christmas ever. My biggest wish is to hear him say "I love you" one more time.

notanothertakeaway · 27/12/2021 21:39

@CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain

This was almost certainly DHs last Christmas. He does not currently want to know his full prognosis and leaves that knowledge to me. I think he just needs time to adapt.

Our 5 children know he is ill but currently have no idea of what really lies ahead.

I pulled on my big girl pants and pushed the boot out to make this Christmas incredibly happy and fun whilst having the odd weep when out with the dog stomping around the the fields.

I hope they carry wonderful memories with them of this week forever.

Next set of results next week when it may be time to start having hard conversations.

@CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain

That sounds really tough. Hope you can get support for yourself, so you can be strong for the rest of the family

bloodywhitecat · 27/12/2021 21:52

@CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain

This was almost certainly DHs last Christmas. He does not currently want to know his full prognosis and leaves that knowledge to me. I think he just needs time to adapt.

Our 5 children know he is ill but currently have no idea of what really lies ahead.

I pulled on my big girl pants and pushed the boot out to make this Christmas incredibly happy and fun whilst having the odd weep when out with the dog stomping around the the fields.

I hope they carry wonderful memories with them of this week forever.

Next set of results next week when it may be time to start having hard conversations.

Sounds like we have similar Christmases, I got DH's results on Christmas Eve (DH isn't able to really process it all), there is spread and no more treatment that can be given This was our last Christmas and I found the pressure of trying to make it a good one very difficult. Wishing you strength and fortitude to face the future.
52andblue · 27/12/2021 21:59

Mother - this is the last year I will bother to send a gift. I sent a small (therefore not too cluttering) framed photograph of the grandchildren, some posh slow gin mince pies (& a half bottle of sloe gin to accompany them) a silk scarf & a new book she'd like.
Eventually I emailed to check safe receipt. Reply: 'I'll open Xmas day as I'll be all alone'. (Shes married, my brother lives 5m away and she goes there for xmas). 'I'm not sending cards this year, I don't leave the house, Covid etc. Try to give your children a half decent Xmas if you can' (my exH left us this summer). Not so much h as an email over Xmas to say hello to grandkids or send them seasonal greetings. I'm 53. I'm done.

TatianaBis · 27/12/2021 22:16

@Bangolads

I find Christmas really hard. My partner is only really happy when his extended family are here and they are mostly nice to me but couldn’t really care less about me. They don’t include me or ask about me in anyway. They completely underestimate the amount of work it is to have them and they bring nothing - when they come. Sorry actually they brought a cheese cake. The FIL has his bday on Boxing Day and says he doesn’t want a fuss but does nothing the entire day to help. It’s just constant work and I’m tired of it.
So does your DP do all the hosting and cooking?
CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain · 27/12/2021 22:17

@bloodywhitecat so sorry you are facing this too. The club no one wants to join. Sigh

I lost a parent as a child and it helps me process some of what we are going through and am drawing on my own experiences to try to do things for our children that I wish my parents had done for my sisters and I.

DC are teenagers upwards so
Old enough to understand. Will let New Year’s Eve pass - receive next test results and then work with DH on him acknowledging the situation and speaking to the kids. They know it has spread but seem outwardly oblivious to his chances. I live with a bunch of eternal optimists which is refreshing and great but does mean they like to have their collective heads in the sand. Bless them all.
But they all need to know and process this - but it can wait a couple more weeks.

longtompot · 27/12/2021 22:18

@bloodywhitecat

I love DH to the ends of the earth and back again but this has been my hardest Christmas ever. My biggest wish is to hear him say "I love you" one more time.
Unmumsnetty (((hugs))) to you Flowers
pollyglot · 27/12/2021 22:37

This reply has been deleted

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Whatamess582 · 27/12/2021 22:41

Neighbours: no I don’t want to come drink your €3 bottle of wine with you. I do it every year and every year I feel sick afterwards.
Kids friends mum: no it’s not ok you brought your alcoholic boyfriend from whom you are splitting up and complain about to me every fucking other day, to my house for drinks on Christmas Eve. He is a dick and you are a sap and you should really bring wine if you are going to pop around for impromptu drinks.
DH: you are not buddy from elf so can you act like a grown up who isn’t employed at Disney and stop trying to make everything ‘magical’ for the kids. Kids get excited by Christmas whether you leave icing sugar footprints on the tiles by the fire or not.
MIL/SIL: we live in a country that is 8-10h behind you in time. Don’t call us drunk on Christmas Day morning to talk to us and the kids.
DM: we don’t spend Christmas with you because I spent the first 30 Christmases of my life with you and I hate Christmas as a result. In fact I would go as far as to say I suffer PTSD in the run up to Christmas… every fucking day from 1st November. We are not coming this Christmas next Christmas or any other Christmas. Deal with it.

Thank you for this thread OP. Very cathartic

hivemindneeded · 27/12/2021 22:44

@JustAnotherSod

Dad - please stop phoning and giving me a running commentary of the wonderful family Christmas you are having with DSis and her family and SDSis and her family.

I know we haven't given you any Grandchildren, but being the only one not invited to your 'Family Christmas' stings - I've never felt more lonely and alone that I have over the past few days - not that anyone has noticed, asked or even cares.

I'm really glad all the presents we gave were well received - even though neither sister or the kids has been in touch to say so. And, no, 'Santa' was not good to us - we had precisely no gifts to open from anyone, I don't particularly care that there are a few for us at your home or really want to arrange anything to get them from you.

Why I keep expecting anything different I don't know - I'm done from here on in.

Massive hugs. I well remember those Christmases. Being the ones without children make you invisible and unworthy. It's grim.
Runaway1 · 27/12/2021 22:51

DM - you have to play with a kid to have a relationship with them

TowandaForever · 27/12/2021 23:06

@FurFan

Stop bloody sniffing! Just blow your nose. Job done. Ugh. Snort, snort, snort, swallow.
I feel your pain.....
MuchTooTired · 27/12/2021 23:27

To my lovely little DTs, I really hope I got Christmas and Santa right for you. I’m hideously disorganised and not terribly imaginative but I did my best. You seemed excited (first year you’ve ‘got’ it) but as usual I quietly worry that I’ve done it wrong and you’ll look back on me and the childhood I gave you in a negative way. I want your childhood to be full of magic, happiness and positivity so you don’t end up crippled with anxiety and overwhelmed daily like me!

I adore the both of you, but if you could please leave me alone for a while and just stop fighting that would be grand, thank you. I need silence!

stayathomer · 27/12/2021 23:32

I don't think I can take my job (dream retail job) much longer. Only there 6 months but my body is breaking and the kids and dh seem to be falling apart. Thanks op, I have nobody to say it to, all of my friends never understoodme being a sahm. Dh says he's happy I'm happy (dream job and co workers but physically v v demanding and my kids aren't sleeping well since I started) but he seems broken (he's wfh)