Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

All the years you’ve made Christmas miserable I got my own back this year I’ve loved it no crap from you I brought my own very little food so little waste, I watched what I wanted on tv yes I had dreadful headache but I’ve laughed inside all Christmas if things go to -plan I’ll be off this year and you can be grumpy on your own.

BIL and SIL have left my home at last. Four hours feel like four weeks. Neither has made the effort to get on with me in 20+ years. Yet I host and show them a good time. If I had a firework, I'd let it off now in jubilation.

Looking back over quite a few years i must admit the Christmas i have the best memories about is the one I spent by myself. Got myself a few little treats of food I liked (so no turkey or sprouts!), a nice bottle of wine and a book I wanted to read that had nothing to do with anything. I went for a walk and heard carol singing when I went by a church - nice as I didn't have to do anything churchy. And basically that was it.

I hate the pressure of presents, eating a big meal too early in the day, which means drinking much too early (what!?! you're not having something before dinner??) feeling massively bloated, fake smiles, lurking arguments and all the dreadful mashup music garbage and carpy movies. GAG!

DS, when I suggested the new love of your life could come for Christmas because they are from a country far away, I didn't mean for a month. And since they are six years older than you and a proper grown up., a bit of contribution occasionally towards the food and wine would be nice. Also, a bit cheeky of them to instruct me what cake they wanted for their birthday and that they'd like to go out for a Chinese meal in the evening. Being an endless moneybags for our own late teens adult DC is one thing but for a grown up stranger, it's something else. They have seriously cost us about a grand in Christmas and birthday presents, outings and weekly food and wine!

DP, stop being such an arse! Why have you put shit loads of salt into the potatoes when we don’t normally cook with salt? Just because your parents and DB are here - they all have health issues and don’t need the salt and neither do I because of my blood pressure! Stop ignoring this issue.

I wish you’d fucking stop swanning around like you are some sort of celebrity chef. You aren’t. Your cooking is OK, nothing special. You think you’re Gordon Sodding Ramsey the way you carry on.

I cannot wait for the house to be back to normal. No family and friends expecting to see me. I just want to be curled up by myself with something trashy on the TV which I missed on Christmas Day. I want DP to revert to normal rather than being such a twatty show off when he’s with family and friends. Grrrr.

This thread is so cathartic. Thanks.

@FlipFlops4Me

My lovely DH had a stroke last June. He has recovered partially but does his very best. My DS and DIL invited us over to theirs - her first time hosting - and they did a great job of it. She really did. I was so grateful.

My DSis came with us. And was her usual snippy self - it's as if she doesn't realise that the expressions on her face show how irritated and pissed off she is. All the time.

DH told me that he'd felt every sneery look at him (he is blind on one side, and a bit clumsy with cutlery - but he's my miracle and I love him with a fierce, protective massive love). He said she made him feel as if he hadn't the right to sit at the table with the "normal" people. I could have cried for him.

I'm not going to ask DS and DIL to invite her next year..... she can be alone and bloody like it.

I wouldn't see her at all. She sounds horrible.

This is completely outing as I know DM is on here but I can’t afford a therapist so here goes…

My dad treats us all like sh** he has found on his shoes. He’s controlling and rule obsessed except the rules are constantly changing so there’s no way you can keep up and manage to stay out of trouble. He’s vile to my lovely mum and constantly remarks on how little she does, whilst she cooks, cleans, bakes, wraps presents, shops, works and he sits doing all his ‘much more important’ jobs at his laptop and not lifting a finger. He also likes to make a point of telling us all how little my DM contributes financially, this is the man who keeps signing up to do more and more qualifications (degree/PHD X2) leaving him on PHD student money, knowing that it will not lead to anything and he will still hate every job he has, whilst my mum maintains her own client list for her business and is about to start a new full time job in addition, to bring in even more money in an effort to please him. It won’t work, nothing is ever enough. He also makes disgusting personal remarks about her (and all of us), think misogynistic, body shaming, really hurtful things and smiles whilst he says them. The only real joy I see him get is from making his elderly mother cry on the phone. This Christmas he has been especially nasty to my lovely, caring, brilliant DH who does everything he can to be nice to him, make his life easier and to try and make him happy. DH pushed a 4 month old baby around Manchester City centre a week before Christmas in the dark and rain to make sure he had the perfect present and in return he got griped at and picked on all through Xmas day and Boxing Day.

My dad has ruined every Christmas I can remember and truly wish my mum could get out and enjoy her life but it will never happen as she’s the most forgiving person I’ve ever met.

Unfortunately my kids adore him and we have no way of seeing my lovely mum and sister without seeing him as they are so under the thumb screws. He undermines our parenting and let’s my eldest son do and have anything he pleases so obviously my son thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread. We all give him endless chances and we are all disappointed, EVERY TIME.

I wish I could at least say this is limited to Christmas but this is the man who told me as a child that I had driven a wedge in his marriage by being born and he wished I hadn’t have been.

Bizarrely, he keeps giving out big chunks of money i.e house deposit/wedding fund etc to me and dsis but honestly it just makes it more of a head fuck really.

I can’t have nothing to do with him because it would cause my mum even more distress.

Eugh.

OMFG I don't believe it. DH took BIL and MIL out for two hours of shopping, innocently thinking that would give me a rest. (It didn't, it gave me two hours to clean the toilet, bathroom, kitchen, run the hoover round, prepare sandwiches and cake for their return plus prepare the evening meal). She's only bloody come back with a dozen items and some wrapping paper, cheerfully saying "I have a small job for you later Jennifer ..." I did suggest DH help her, as I had already wrapped the mountain of presents that we opened a few days ago; he said "But I took her shopping". She's HIS flamin' mother!

When DH and BIL take her home tomorrow, I tell you, DS and I are chilling in front of the cheesiest Christmas movies we can find and filling ourselves with crisps and sweets. NOTHING is going to get done while DH is out. I may even finish the Baileys that was bought for me but which she has drunk most of (despite allegedly not liking it).

I don't have to have her back for ten years, do I? I've done my duty.

I can’t wait for my guests to go tomorrow two left today the rest tomorrow. Yippee. Yet another Christmas where they have done eff to help but have been able to make sly digs about one thing or another. All H says is they’ve been like it for years and we don’t know how much longer they will be here… he means both sides because both are equally as idle as the other. And for the 3rd year running got the children to open presents whilst I was getting stuff in the oven and fetching drinks. So other than Santa gifts I have no clue who bought gifts for 3 children. Didn’t even know what they got until I went in to tidy bedrooms. Yes I shed a few silent tears in the bathroom on Xmas day. Today I really can’t muster the energy to even speak to them.
Sorry to the rest of you who have had equally shit times it does make me feel better that I’m not alone with having selfish arseholes for families 😘

@babouchette

DM: it is rude to tell me you didn't want the flowers I sent you last week.

It is rude to "helpfully" point out things that need doing in my house.

It is rude to refuse to open your main Christmas present until you get home.

It is rude to say "next year we'll do it differently" as you are leaving.

Just because I am your daughter does not make it acceptable. When you say these things, you are being rude!!!!!

Well, next year you can do it differently

Both in your own homes...

OMFFFG. DH offered to go to the corner shop to see if he could get any sellotape (as I'm almost out) and MIL just said "Bless him". As though DH is so hard done by, and now he's doing me an almighty favour.

This is cathartic. I feel I may need a name change soon though!

@EnjoyingTheSilence

My mum has turned into a child. She does this every time on the day she’s due to go home but it’s really doing my head in this time

I love her to bits and she’s be gutted if she knew so I’m having to really bite my tongue but it’s so damn hard.

And I already posted on the thread about narrating everything. Why? Just why? Is this what I and my children’s have to look forward to?

My granny does this on holiday. Even speaks in baby voice - she is 89. She is perfectly sane and normal any other time.

DM: please just something positive about my life, my children and my husband. It won't hurt you. I've had enough of your constant passive agressive comments and put downs. I hate the way I act when your around and the way you make me feel like usless crap.

I am exhausted. I really do not enjoy Christmas but make a huge effort (divorced, grown up children, elderly parents). I also work full time, so by the time it gets to Christmas I just can't wait for it to be over. Children are all lovely (untidy though). This year they took it in turns to cook so it wasn't all down to me. I think it's probably the constant questions (from children but more particularly from my mother). Where is X? when are we doing y? shall we do this? what time is x happening? etc a gazillion times a day! Thank you for starting this thread - I just needed to say it!!

Mil, if you make one more snippy comment about how we do Christmas, you’ll be spending it on your own. You’re only here because your other son is too bone fucking idle to deal with anyone other than himself. It’s not out of the goodness of our hearts. Fucking belt up or fuck off.

This year has shown me just how unappreciated and taken for granted I am. Every year I spend hundreds on food and drink for my ungrateful family and siblings, get up at 5am busting my arse making sure their Christmas Day is perfect all for them to turn up enjoy their day whilst acting as if I don’t exist and piss off again at midnight without any thanks or offers of help to clean up.

This year I have an injury which means I couldnt lift things without help, SIL helped and fuck me I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words ‘thank you for this SIL’ or ‘you’re so clever cooking all this’ ‘you’re so kind’ excuse me??? Not once in the last 4 years has anyone ever said thank you to me for all I do? And then to add insult to injury I say there and watched them fight over who was going to help her clean up? Wtf? No one has ever even offered for me, I just stand there hand washing everything on my own usually, it takes over an hour. And no I’m no martyr, I have absolutely asked for help every year.

Don’t even get me started on presents, they all got each other ones worth £30/40 and mine was £8? I know it’s not about the money b it at this point I’m already feeling invisible and emotional.

I’ve already decided next year I’m doing Christmas with me and my kids alone, no one else and I’m not doing presents for anyone barring the kids in the family. They can all fuck off and arse lick each other from now.

Sounds daft but it’s being up all the old wounds from being a perpetually ignored left out child that was only wanted when she could babysit for free or be chief cook and bottle washed 😒

I’ve just got down the tee I’ve kept that and the advent calendar but everything I’m throwing out over the next few weeks I can’t wait I’ve had my last Christmas with you.

My DP's mum slags off her DIL to me in a really passive aggressive way and I have to shut it down every single time. She doesn't like that I won't join in, God alone knows the slagging I must get behind my back. Oh and her beloved son is a spineless, indecisive, arrogant dickhead and it's a bloody wonder SIL can stick him.

My lovely Dsis, she's been through so much but her current partner is using her and will never give her the respect she deserves. My parents encourage the relationship because he's rich and they place huge importance on that.

@CurlyMango

Having had two ops in 3.5 weeks could not sit in the car for long. Mil and fil invited up to celebrate. However they wanted to host and even when told three times by their son, my DH they said him and the kids could come. They went I was excluded. The hosting included not a cooked meal but cheese and cake, when asked what flavour my son said it was dry cake. Horrid. They are not nice people. They have told my dd they will come for their birthday, what 17 year o,d twins really want to share their day with grandparents. Anyway I’m not going to host them dh can if he wishes.

What utter pricks, and I don't feel too favourable about your DH going anyway. I def think you need to be 'away' if they do follow up their threat to come for the kids birthday!

I want to live by myself just to see if I like it

Titsinasentia. Exactly my thought. A cowardly dh and am going to be out when they come. Ideally with the kids also 😁

BIL arrives today (early 60’s, single, nice enough but likes things just so and will constantly try to parent my son and won’t lift a single finger) and is apparently staying a week. I kid you not.

Pray for me.

After 4 days of hosting (2 x great, 1 ok and 1 awful), I am fit to drop. DH family of course praised him for all the hard work in cooking etc (I cooked). I was given 3 x second hand cheap presents, whilst DH and 2 x DC’s were given very lovely presents (I would prefer a single box of chocs or nothing at all to be honest).

Nit picking at me all day….so relieved to have no one around tmrw, no cooking to do and no one.

Why do some in laws have to be so bloody awful?

And breathe…….