Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

Yet again we hosted both sets of parents despite both DH and I having siblings. Next year will be different mark my words.

Also, not receiving a birthday card from either BIL or alleged best friend really sucked. I don't want to feel hurt that you think so little of me but I do, especially when my cards to you are never late.

@FlipFlops4Me

My lovely DH had a stroke last June. He has recovered partially but does his very best. My DS and DIL invited us over to theirs - her first time hosting - and they did a great job of it. She really did. I was so grateful.

My DSis came with us. And was her usual snippy self - it's as if she doesn't realise that the expressions on her face show how irritated and pissed off she is. All the time.

DH told me that he'd felt every sneery look at him (he is blind on one side, and a bit clumsy with cutlery - but he's my miracle and I love him with a fierce, protective massive love). He said she made him feel as if he hadn't the right to sit at the table with the "normal" people. I could have cried for him.

I'm not going to ask DS and DIL to invite her next year..... she can be alone and bloody like it.

This brought a tear to my eyes

She sounds a cow no she can be on her own next year how dare she treat you and your brilliant husband whose done so well to get this far.

@Erictheavocado you total complete utter legend . Thankyou so much that has made my day. Thankyou for caring about my pickle plight :)

DH. I absolutely hate your eldest daughter. - there said it. The upset, hurt and stress she causes you and youngest Dsd is awful and been going in for years. She thinks she can sail through life scrounging money off us never paying back. She never gets any consequences to her shitty behaviour. It’s always someone else. Never her. Well I’m glad I called her out on it Xmas eve. Yet she is still refusing to payback what she owes us and you still want her to have a nice present. Well no. You desperately wanted her to choose a present to open with you at Christmas and she couldn’t. Instead chose to try and scrounge more money out of us. End of lady. Your Xmas present was paying back our money. Now please fuck off to the far end of fuck for a long time

Bit late to the party with this one. I've got terminally ill mother 3 hours drive away, siblings and I are sharing care currently. Not ideal and adds stress to a sad situation. Unsurprisingly I feel quite depressed and haven't enjoyed Xmas much this year. However I'm trying to be as cheerful as I can (not faking it, just doing what I can to enjoy things) for sake of DC and DH. We had his parents here on Xmas Day. The gripe I have is that DH is now grumpy that 'his' holiday is ruined because it's my turn to go to Mum's tomorrow. We saw my extended family on Tuesday, one of whom has now tested positive and DH is acting like it's a personal insult to him, and has decided that we have to all isolate (though none of us actually need to) and now he's also grumpy that we are now stuck inside with nothing to do. I just can't fathom how he can think this is about him, and it was his idea to isolate unnecessarily! I'm almost looking forward to going tomorrow to get away from the atmosphere.

Men often think that the most non sensical things are out to spite them though.

Only narcissistic men, @Kirstos1.

@Gracie70 that's awful. Sorry. LTB and have a better life x

Dear X,
Since COVID started I have hardly seen you. Yet you have time to meet A & B. If I ask you to call to my house, meet for a coffee or lunch I always get an excuse. I had a major birthday in the summer and you said I will call to your house with a card. You never did this or even put a card into the post for me.
Coming up to Xmas I asked you to meet me for lunch and you said you would. Then you ignored me for over a week. Then for Xmas you could not even send me a FB pm wishing me a happy Xmas or do the same on new year's eve.
All of my other friends have been in contact with me at least once over the past few days and shown some interest in me and my life currently. I have plans to meet up with them when the COVID situation improves.

Do you know what really annoys me is the fact that a few years ago you when you were going through a horrible time I was there for you. You call to my house and ring me. I never once saw you stuck when you asked me for a favour. In fact I encouraged you to have a break and I paid for a cheap holiday for us.

After all the help and support I gave you in the past do you think that I deserve to be treated this way?
I am no longer putting up with your total lack of effort and in the next few weeks that will be very clear to you. I have already dealt with 2 other people who were stepping on my toes and they understand that I won't put up with been treated poorly.

You are cold. And selfish. And narcissistic. And emotionally abusive. You are Neglectful and stupid. Blinkered and hypocritical. I actually hate you. I wish I wasn’t related to you. You are an embarrassment

DH I love you so much & know I'm BU, massively so, but I resent your mother..... and it's only getting harder as the years go on. Christmas has just reiterated this all the more.

The irony that Covid has been something of a blessing because it's limited her (monthly!) visits a bit is not lost on me.

Her poor little me/life has been a tragedy that she's dined out on ever since I've known her (27 years!) & now the onset of her dementia, you being the only child (& the one who FINALLY made it after her miscarriages, like she's the only woman ever to have experienced this!) the death of your father 16 years ago, meaning all caring responsibilities are on us, makes me feel like I'm drowning. 😢

She may live over 3 hours away from us & day to day we are not there in person but this just shifts the burden of responsibility in other ways - the constant need to liaise with carers, social workers, medical personnel, attend meetings in person or via Teams.... the constant reminders that she doesn't want to go into a home but doesn't want a live in carer even though she's ended up in hospital 3 times from falls in 2 months, sleeps in a chair because she's too frightened to go to bed (even with evening carers in place) & your job taking you out of the picture so by necessity, it's fallen on me to step in..... I'm overwhelmed.

Her need/demand for daily phone calls/ face-time & expectation you will drop everything to attend to her, even above our own children have always been hammered home hard. I know you feel guilt she's alone but even before the dementia, she was a difficult woman with a knack of disguising her rudeness by blaming it on originally coming from another country. She's lived in the UK since late teens!!

The last 5 + Christmas's have been "her last ones" & nothing I ever do is good enough. The passive aggressiveness of exclaiming in apparent wonder about the desserts I make which she couldn't possibly eat as they are "far too creamy & full of sugar" the amount of "stuff" the children have, that we spoil them/allow them too much use of their gadgets/television etc etc.

I cannot say any of this but trying to juggle it with the needs of our own family & especially DD's health/care needs being so complex, make me wish it would all just stop. I have nothing left to give.

@CreakingatTheWhinges you really do need to discuss this with your h.

It may be that not much can be done, but even a small adjustment of things or the understanding of how much this is affecting you and your children may actually echo what he’s thinking but thinks he can’t say anything about it either

Either way, you need to communicate or it’ll damage, perhaps even destroy your relationship

@creakingatthewhinges I'm sorry, this sounds awful - and terrifying as a cautionary tale.

I am fed up of never being the one who is on fire. I have 3 under 3 including four month old twins, I went into a huge new job so we can look after them without my DH fretting about his pension. This Christmas I have given up my own lovely first Christmas alone with my DC and planned chilled evening with DS I have barely seen for two years because of Covid because my DSIL is ill and MIL needy. This happens again and again. My DH gets to be depressed and take days out for his MH. Our nursery can close and nanny become ill and need January off. I (genuinely) sympathize and care and pick up the pieces... but, I have nothing left.

I want to know when I get to be the problem, just once, without the cost being paid by our lovely children.

@CreakingatTheWhinges I don't know if you visit the Elderly Parents board... but you could, we'd love to have you.

Just stfu every time I try to read or play games you talk if I do it it’s “I’m reading” in a snappy voice. I don’t care what you’re on about half the time I’ve heard it a thousand times.

I'm so sad my kids had covid this Christmas. It's the first time I've had a proper stretch of holiday time for years. We missed the Kew Christmas lights that I booked in the summer thanks to this board. I'm just going to have to go back to work now and I didn't really have fun or get rest or see family. I'm having a pity party about it all.

@BigGreen

I'm so sad my kids had covid this Christmas. It's the first time I've had a proper stretch of holiday time for years. We missed the Kew Christmas lights that I booked in the summer thanks to this board. I'm just going to have to go back to work now and I didn't really have fun or get rest or see family. I'm having a pity party about it all.

My son bought me one last Christmas and there was a lot of dark brown on it. I was quite disappointed at first when I saw it was 500 pieces as I usually do 1000 ones but once I started it I was relieved.

I’ve had two lovely ones this Christmas, one off each son, and I’ve got to find somewhere to do them. One is a long panoramic one of New York while the other is a square one of an Oasis album cover. Neither will fit on my jigsaw board, the dining table is the obvious place but I’m worried they’d get messed up.

MIL who I love and talk a lot with. When I go into the kitchen to prepare another meal for everyone I want to at least get some peace in return for this drudgery. But no Instead of chatting with DH your DS you follow me to talk at me whilst I am trying to prep or tidy.
There is no peace to be had I’m only asking the odd half an hour.

Oh god give me strength your on about wasting money on getting your cd printed no ones interested it was dreadful last time you pestered everyone by giving them away. It will come out of your pip I’m not paying for this one, hopefully I’ll be away by then not my problem 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏prays it’s not cancer you’ve got so I can leave.

BIl and SIL get bloody vaccinated!!!!!!!!

@ilovebagpuss

MIL who I love and talk a lot with. When I go into the kitchen to prepare another meal for everyone I want to at least get some peace in return for this drudgery. But no Instead of chatting with DH your DS you follow me to talk at me whilst I am trying to prep or tidy. There is no peace to be had I’m only asking the odd half an hour.

My MIL does this too. She will also literally follow me around the kitchen as well. I love her like a second mum but jeez woman please give me 5 minutes peace !

@chillydownwiththefiregang
@ilovebagpuss
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

I'm the MIL...
I love my grandson to bits and enjoy playing with him, changing him, feeding him, etc
I dont follow my DIL around because I am too busy with GS...and when He goes for a sleep, I'm very worn out so either go home if I'm not spending the night or go in my room for a nap if I am.
When MIL arrives, could you greet her with a relieved look and say, " Oh MIL, I am so glad you are here! Would you please look after ( or I really need you to watch )baby whilst I take a bath, wash my hair, take a nap, cook a meal " or whatever you need to do...it only works though if you trust her to do this or if she will actually take baby to play in his room or wherever so you don't have both of them underfoot! Good luck, OP!

Animators - may God have mercy on your soul for all the cruelty displayed to mice, cats, dogs and pink panthers in the past. For allowing them to be flattened on screen by falling weights and pianos, only to pop out into a three dimensional shape again, may the Lord help you.

You’ve been a moody bastard all day today I’ve had it up to here with you, oh yes you’re trying to be nice with the sweets and the treat tea well I’m afraid you’re in for a shock the way you’ve spoken to me this week loads of times and your father’s heard it as well on loud speaker. He’s backing me up 💯 to leave and your mums going the same way. So lad you’d better start saving your pip and not waste on studio and cd crap, because I’m making plans.