Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

DMIL - I make one passing comment that I like ducks and EVERY year you get me a duck ornament for Xmas… I’ve been with her son for 17 years. That’s a lot of ducks. No one needs them.

SIL - no ‘D’ because you’re a massive twat. Thanks for the Xmas present. Thoughtful, if it was our first house, or just moved in (been in 3 months) or we were students, or claimed poverty in any way. She got us a bag of loo roll, hand gel, plasters, hideous oven gloves, crisps, multipack cereal and pens. Backstory but too long for here. Just believe me when I say she’s a twat.

Dear Mum. I love you and I don’t want this cancer to kill you. You’re the only decent grandparent my kids have. Did I mention that I love you? And I’ll be with you every step of the way.
Dad. You were a disappointment to your beloved father. He hated you for the way you treated me. You weren’t his favourite because you’re a selfish prick.
MIL. Fuck off, fuck you, fuck your weird siblings, fuck your attitude to your absolutely brilliant son, fuck your coldness, fuck your lack of compassion, fuck your pretentious fakery. Fuck your last minute, totally thoughtless gift to my husband, your only son. You know. The craft beers he won’t be able to drink because of his really fucking aggressive meds he now has to take for the rest of his life. That you don’t want to know about. Because you don’t care, you never have and you never will.
FIL. I hope your new wife makes you happy and you don’t regret burning every bridge to all your family.
That felt good. I may have some more. Let me just check my resentment pocket.. yep still full 😂

My mil had no time for my lovely, kind and considerate husband. She expects us to drive for hours to visit her regularly but literally never visits us (even though she comes to the city where we live and stays with her other dc).

She is actually ok to spend time with but so indifferent to him I can't handle her. He told her all this and it was very emotional..,,, so she "picked us for Christmas" he spent so long prepping everything just how she likes it..... all I could think was this woman hates being here, she is only here because you made her feel bad. It was more awkward than when she ignores us

@Permanenttemporary @Grapewine no, there's no hidden subtext. He's just heard me rant ,saw the title and thought I might find it interesting. He didn't even read the blurb on the back.

To my horrible sister who tried to ruin my Christmas by siding with a stalker. Who invited her whole family but not mine to Christmas meals. Who accused me of stealing our late father's money and when i proved i didn't, you never apologised. Who paid for nothing but took my hospitality for 20 years and went on holiday at least twice a year leaving me to care for both parents and my small children. Who said our dying brother brought it on himself. And you weren't being tested for a kidney.

I don't like you. I think you are a closet racist, homophobic bitch. I hope you love counting your money because that is all that matters to you. And I have been putting nutmeg in the cheese sauce for years because I like it!!

Dear MIL.
Why are you so horrible to all your family? Everyone tried so hard to make Christmas nice and you ruined it. Don't be surprised if you are on your own next year. I know you are lonely but it's your fault.
That feels better!

My cat doesn’t like you grabbing her and restraining her on your lap like that. Having the cat sleep on your lap is a privilege earned through years of servitude. I should know. Unhand her Lennie!

Having a husband who works does not practically make you a single parent!!!! You have a partner who loves you, and who you love! Someone to talk to on a night, someone to share the stresses of life and finances with, someone who will look after your kids if you die of covid. Stop telling me that just because he works in an office 5 days a week, you understand how hard it is for me! I get that everyone has issues but our situations are not comparable so stop tucking comparing them! Argh!!!

‘D’H: why are you surprised that the one present I asked you for months ago was out of stock when you took me to buy it on Christmas Eve? You said you felt bad but you could have nipped to a different shop and at least have got me some chocolates so I’d have something to open. Then you sulked because I made a joke about it because you already felt bad. It’s not even a luxury present, it’s a robot vacuum cleaner that I want even though hoovering is your one and only housework job because you don’t do it now that we have the dog that you wanted because you have delegated all dog related jobs to me.

I said that all I wanted on Christmas Day was a day without you stressing and shouting at me and you just couldn’t manage it could you?

Also, stop moaning at DS about the state of his hair when you know we couldn’t get him an appointment at the hairdressers. And stop moaning about his fashion sense, he’s 12 years old and he can wear what he bloody well likes.

Can you please turn your Xbox off and stop shouting at it?

And are we going to spend the whole Christmas holidays researching and test driving electric cars that we can’t afford and sulking because we can’t afford them?

Oh and stop sulking about lack of money just because you can’t understand that we have the same amount of money as usual but our direct debits/ wages are coming out at different times due to all the bank holidays.

To our dog: why were you a massive pain in the arse at our friends’ house on Christmas Day when you have been perfect since the minute we left?

I put a lot of thought into presents everytime but in future I don't think I'll bother. I don't give to receive, I enjoy it but receiving what appears to be grabbed off the shelf with no thought what so ever (one with the sale price still on) feels like I don't matter to you, despite everything thing that is said otherwise.

@YuleiamsaidI

I was hoping not to wake up this morning,not been able to say that in RL.

I’m so sorry to read that. I hope you have someone with you who is supporting you. You can ring Samaritans on 116 123 anytime.

@notanothertakeaway - I would agree with you but this is a woman who has never praised me once in my entire life and never (and I mean never!) hugged me either. I am LC with her as I know she'll never change.

DH. Stop fucking whinging about everything. Stop being so negative and stop snapping at the kids. Is it a wonder that dd(7) talks to you the same way you talk to her?

Dm. Telling me to go out and buy myself a gift when I arrived on the 23rd is shitty. Of course I did what you said, spent a quarter of the small amount you gave as the budget and you never gave me money for it, thanked me for buying it, apologised for asking me to buy it or even wrapped or asked to see it. You’re always like this. Always. And I hate it.

@AbaloneShell thank you

To myum. I hope your life is happier without me in it. I know you think I'm an awful person very much like the first poster and her son and you don't wish to spend time with me. Your accusations of me being a narcissist and a psychopath who doesn't give a shit about anyone is so far from true and yes as you saw the results do show I'm Autistic. I'm sorry I wasn't the daughter you wanted but I didn't get a mother I deserved either. Its only now I'm seeing you for the true narcissist you are and just how you gaslight. Its a shame you did it to me, as I know you're a liar and I still wanted you to love me, yet you gaslit me so bad I almost becamea missing person and had a suicide plan. You don't care when I finally ppened up and said I thought I had depression you told me to move out as I was causing you anxiety.

To my baby sister. I'm really not the awful person our mother has said I am. I love you more than I can explain and its my biggest regret that we're not proper sisters instead of strangers. Me cutting ties isn't what you think it's not an attention exercise i don't want you to fight for me. But because I really feel that your life would be so much better without me in it. There are things you don't know because I love you so much to protect you and if you took a moment to ask what you and mum know about me and asked my friends whatthey thought of me you'd realise you don't know me at all and I would sacrifice my happiness for yours. I hope whatever you do in your life you're happy and if you ever realise that mums lying or that you need to know the full story you know you can come to me.

I'm sorry I'm Autistic. I really tried so hard not to be.

Dear MiL
Fuck off.
Thank you.

'D' H, please don't wake me up in the middle of the night by rubbing your penis against me, trying to stick your fingers in me or squeezing my breasts. I no longer find sex with you enjoyable at the best of times, and when I am asleep isn't a good opportunity. Sulking for days afterwards doesn't make me more likely to 'give in'.
Outwardly you are a great husband, you cook, clean and work hard, but you never calling your mother out for her awful behaviour towards me, nor ever correcting her lies about me to the rest of your family made me lose all respect for you. I may be a very long way from perfect, but I deserve better. I don't like the person that I've become, and a certain amount of that is my response to our family life.
I'm sad about all the Christmases we've lost, driving down to your family home, so all of you brothers and grandparents can stay in bed until afternoon, then stay up late drinking while the children are hungry and bored.
Oh, that's really helped, but does make me realise I need to do some serious thinking

MIL yes your house is freezing and no the TV does not give out any heat so put the thermostat up!!!!!!

FIL you are a tight arsed, entitled cheeky fucker.

Come for 5 days, travel funded, not a bottle of wine with you, go out pay your entry fee, buy the coffees. You couldn't even manage that could you, no you expect your son to fund everything and do everything for you you lazy, entitled twat.

I actually actively dislike my mother. She has a split personality and wants attention constantly. She came for three nights and that's all I can cope with. We've hosted her for the last three years and she's NOT coming next year. No doubt she'll be on her own but maybe she'll realise that she's just a horrible person to be around and that's why she gets no other invitations (she won't realise that, as she can do no wrong in her own eyes and will blame others). She can't host at her house as it's too cluttered to even sit with a cup of tea. I'm still reliving the horrible things she said about me this time, three days later. Nobody else makes me feel this anxious and shit.

@iguessyouarestuckwithme

Dont ever apologise for being autistic. Some of the cleverest, most artistic, kind people I know have ASD. X

@coodawoodashooda Thank you

We cleared all the surfaces for Christmas. They are now full of nonsense again. On the bookshelf next to me, there is now, calpol, a bottle, a packet of crisps, cards, roomspray, a mug of tea, a hairbrush, makeup, cellotape and facewipes. It doesn't seem to matter how many times all these things get put back where they belong. It's like digging out a hole in the sand where the sand just keeps slipping back in down the sides. I need everyone to go away for a week so I can just get on top of it all.

thanks for that.