Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

@Bitconfused75

I understand

I hate being made to feel shit, while everyone opened lots of presents, and I got a supermarket jumper that Mum would wear and a trite saying on a bookmark. From my mother. Siblings got quite a few, each more thoughtful (and expensive, but that’s not even the point) the jumper is in the (back of the) wardrobe, and I burst into tears at home. Every year it’s the same, even birthdays.

I don't know if I feel sad, resentful, jealous or annoyed. Maybe a bit of all 4 emotions. My DM was widowed in 2020. Since then I am the one who takes her shopping 2x weekly, to all her (many) medical appointments, for eye tests, hearing tests, chiropodist etc. She has never given me money towards petrol. At Christmas she gave cheques for £200 to all her grandchildren. She gave me a small, inexpensive toiletries set.

Hosted partner's family for Christmas eve, made a lovely lunch and then three course meal in the evening, lots of booze etc, put in a lot of effort. Present from inlaws was a recycled shopping bag, the kind that folds into itself so you can keep it in your handbag, would have cost like £3. Partner got several jars of homemade chutneys, a special coffee gadget thing and a fancy bottle of wine. Feeling a bit confused tbh, they are very well off. Mentioned it to partner but he kind of glossed over it with 'they're sometimes not great with presents'. I'm not grabby, but I feel offended tbh.

@HairyPottyMouth @Ieatmarmite people are fucking weird. Sorry you're both feeling upset xx

DH's Auntie Sheila, you are one miserable old hag. And as for that chicken you got for us, you were bragging about how you could get the most AMAZING tasting chickens, farm fresh and all that. It was a Soanes grain fed factory shite thing with the price £4.62 printed on it. It didn't taste any better than a Tesco own brand bird and I imagine the welfare standard was absolutely dreadful. So next year, you can shove your poultry up your arse.

DP's big brother - you really are an utter bellend. Really.

MIL - You're the dream MIL in so many ways, warm-hearted, easy-going and supportive. You don't interfere in my marriage, judge or demand in any way. You're brilliant with my DD, love my DH without mollycoddling him and even if you weren't my MIL I'd still want you in my life.

But the reason I can't stand spending Christmas with you is because of your dog. He has no boundaries, slobbers over everything, and stinks so badly he makes me heave.

So next year, you can shove your poultry up your arse.

I’m sorry your husband’s aunt is being an arse, @RobertaFirmino, but this is my new favourite insult

Oh blimey @nonevernotever! Is there a message in that? Did he want it himself?

@Gindrinker43

My DM died this morning. I just want to go to bed and stay there but I have to adult and apparently it's beyond the wit of DH to cook dinner. Just once I had hoped someone else would produce a meal. I'm now having wine and chocolate for dinner they can starve.

I’m so sorry to hear this, @Gindrinker43. I can’t imagine what you’re going through ❤️

@AbaloneShell what a beautiful post. I’m sorry for your loss.

@nonevernotever

DH, I love you dearly, but when I suggested that we each spend no more than £10 on a present for each other , I really wasn't envisaging that you would buy me a book of guidance and advice for people who think they're really trans. I have tried to read it, but eg the section on the joys of anal sex is not for me.

Omg, what possessed him? How bizarre.

I am with my oldest, my children are lovely but oh my, we also have his father and uncle here. Normally we get on really well and visit regularly, ex Dh being a very good friend. But oh when did you become the epitome of fussy old men, set in your ways, xenophobic, flapping about nothing and constantly commenting on what people eat.
And M if I hear another sharp intake of breath when I go to stand, I swear I’ll push you over, yes I’m crippled but I manage without you 360 days a year!
Annnd calm!

I wish the big/little sibling dynamic wouldn’t be so obvious now we’re adults.

It’d be nice when I told you my partner had covid and my child was sick so Christmas plans were cancelled if you’d acknowledge it, even a sad emoji would have done. Instead you post pics and videos of your Christmas.

@1967buglet & @Shamoo thankyou. (I may move the post bit tbh posting in bereavement or elderly seemed to just be overwhelming & making it too real)
@Gindrinker43 It's just rubbish isn't it, I'm so sorry

@JollyHollie

I feel really jealous of all the happy smiley families on Facebook. Me and husband of 20 years have grown apart and barely laugh together any more. I’m only 36 but not brave enough to leave.

Please don't. Anyone can smile for the camera and then get back to the sniping, griping and passive aggressive digs as this thread will attest.

DS's girlfriend is staying with us and she's lovely but I can't completely relax. I just want her to go home so I can have my house back. Selfish I know because DS is really happy she's here.

@Brainstorm21

Every year my mum gives me card saying "From Mum". She gave my DD one saying "From Granny".

Even my next door neighbour writes "Love NDN"

@Brainstorm21

Could be a generational/ etiquette thing. I think I was taught that cards should be to / from, not dear / love from

I’m 8 days post partum. Make your own cups of tea.
And then wash them up when you go. Soon.

@Hi246

This thread makes me really sad, all of you deserve a bit of love and kindness at Christmas, and a chance to make merry. Especially with all the crap the world has thrown at us in the last 2 years.

I very much get family drama although there is no one elderly to the point of dependence in my family yet. And I appreciate that must be very hard.
My family all live together 3 hours away (sister, BIL and kids in house with an annex for my parents). My sister and at times her OH are very judgmental, very insistent it's all done their way and very judgmental of anybody parenting different to them. Sister and BIL work hard in high end jobs, but outside of that my sister cleans like it's qn art form and its all that matters. When we visit,she ignores us though the kids adore each other. Her kids are left to wander around most of the time and don't get much attention. One Christmas day their kids waited all day to open presents, one spilt a drink whilst starving, waiting for dinner and only having been allowed to open half a dozen gifts (about 4pm, parent had to work, so he had to wait). He was then sent to his room and missed Christmas dinner, aged 7.

I love my parents but could never subject my children to that, all their ideas about 'good children' the day is about the kids for us, food, wine, happy kids and adults. We don't have the room to accommodate them all but would gladly have my parents, they'd prefer to be at home and have us all but it won't happen. I always have to work something at Xmas too so hard to work that around it.

We had a another year of us 4 pleasing ourselves, good food,good wine, kids enjoying the magic, afternoon dozing it was brilliant. A couple of years ago my sister mentioned that it would be nice for our parents to have one year with us all together and I guilty agreed, but them covid hit and a lot has happened since to make me certain we won't. It won't end well.

OH's mum usually works Christmas but is the most unassuming lovely lady and she's always welcome whenever. I just couldn't imagine having to slave over people and miss the good bits with the kids. I feel I will defend that to the death and honesty some of you must do the same, you deserve the happy times as well.

Punishing a child by denying them food is abuse. I hope this was a one off. Is anyone actually properly looking out for these children?! As in are your parents capable?

@Zzzsotired

And to my kids- I’m sorry I’ve been so sick and you’ve been so sick and our family let us down. I’m sorry there were no parties, no loving grandmas and grandads, no dad, no aunties or uncles doting on you. I’m sorry there was only a little under the tree and that I feel I’ve let you down. I’m sorry life is tough and your mum isn’t always the happy mum you deserve. I’m so proud of you, for pulling together with me, for helping in your little ways, for looking after me and each other. For trying to see the bigger picture and being amazing little people. I am proud more than You know

There's a whole bright shiny new year just around the corner, and I hope it's a good one for you and your children. You all sound lovely. x

God I am so done with the racist, homophobic conversations. I am fed up of the superiority and what ‘we’ think. I’m nc from my brother and I don’t know your current partner. What dh, dd and I, ie WE think is bloody important. Especially as it is NICE. Stop talking and you could actually learn something. But no men are superior. And while we are about it. Just fucking stop STOP talking about said golden, anointed brother. He is violent and abusive and his wife manipulative and nasty. Neither can control themselves, even at a family funerals. And thanks for telling my dd a pack of lies about him. Dd has seen him be violent to me on more than one occasion and she herself was the target of their nastiness several times whilst still in primary school.

@Shitandhills

Hosted partner's family for Christmas eve, made a lovely lunch and then three course meal in the evening, lots of booze etc, put in a lot of effort. Present from inlaws was a recycled shopping bag, the kind that folds into itself so you can keep it in your handbag, would have cost like £3. Partner got several jars of homemade chutneys, a special coffee gadget thing and a fancy bottle of wine. Feeling a bit confused tbh, they are very well off. Mentioned it to partner but he kind of glossed over it with 'they're sometimes not great with presents'. I'm not grabby, but I feel offended tbh.

I would have handed back the damn thing. FFS, I hope it's the last time you make any effort with them. How can your partner not see how insulting that was.

Read the fucking room Mil.
No one wants to see your list of jobs, sort out your list of jobs, organise when to pop round and sort out your list of jobs on Christmas Day so stop waving your phone in DH’s face at the fucking Christmas dinner table. Now is not the time to reset your Banking password. And don’t text your list of jobs on Boxing Day. You see DH or one of your other children ever single day . Your list gets done and re done every single day of the week . You are not neglected. Give your kids a day off!