Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

DH, I and our 3 DS's went to my family for boxing day. I had been dreading it for months and for good reason. My sisters are borderline bullies and continuously picked on me throughout the day. My middle DS picked up on it (for the first time) and was obviously confused and upset and mad about it. He threw a huge temper tantrum at the dinner table and I could see lots of eye rolling. DH and I took him upstairs to talk to him and it literally broke my heart to listen to him genuinely ask me why my sisters and mum are soo horrible to me.
There are lots of things I don't say toy mum and sisters for fear of arguments (they can get very nasty, very quickly) but I absolutely draw the line at my children. I will not have anyone say anything about them. If anything had been said about his tantrum I would have told them to shut the F up immediately.
The whole day was horrible tbh and I wanted to leave by 5pm but we were staying so we could visit my DH's family the following day.
I couldn't wait to go home. I tolerate my family and prefer them in small doses. They're always difficult but this boxing day they were particularly on form.

Oh yesI had that from mum as I called her never love on a card I’m glad she died about 7 years ago now I never went to the funeral I don’t miss my birth parents either and don’t feel guilty about it.

Dear MIL, I’m utterly fuming that you sprang on us on Christmas Eve that you’d agreed we’d all spend Christmas Day at your friend’s house who has now developed Covid. We isolated for a week before visiting you, cancelled all our plans once cases started rising so that we could see you for Christmas and you’ve now put us at risk as well as my elderly mother who has dementia. I was doing DP a favour by even spending Christmas with you, we would never have come if we’d known you’d accepted an invite on our behalf to someone else’s Christmas lunch who we’ve never even met.

If we can’t get away for new year (the only part of Christmas I have looked forward to) I will be (probably unreasonably) extremely upset.

OH, you complain about mess/no money/everything and blame everyone else. Yet won't lift a finger, according to you I have it easy working from home full time and should be able to do everything, pay for everything and look after our young child while also facing redundancy. You waste ALL your money on fags/booze etc then go into debt for stupid presents I never asked for. You NEVER buy our young child a present. In their entire life you've bought 3 things, 2 after Christmas 2 years ago to score points against my parents who bought our child the exact thing they asked for. You keep threatening to leave yet I know you won't as you have it too easy. You moan about the cost of things yet pay none of the bills. What you hand over doesn't even cover childcare and you squander £1200 a month or more yet always claim poverty. You prioritise your adult child who isn't mine over our young child and spend thousands. I wish you would leave as you make Christmas and any celebration a misery. You expect huge gifts and no point in trying to book a holiday as you'd never put your hand in your pocket and you'd always wreck it

My ex was a total tosser a real tosser. It took me a long long time to have the guts to leave him. I have met a lovely man now. He is fabulous. We chat, laugh, he is sexy. he is great. But some days I still fight not to contact my ex

@GeorgiaGirl52

I have three adultish children with their own incomes. They asked what I wanted for Christmas. I gave them DETAILED info:

• a sofa snuggle blanket $25 (size, color, and Amazon number)

_ a pair of bedroom slippers $20 (size, color, brand and Amazon number)

• The name and where to buy my favorite bath gel fragrance $10/bottle

What I got: -10 pounds of ground beef (mince) neatly wrapped for the freezer.

• a vinyl record of Christmas songs recorded by two singers long dead (I do not have a record player. My son has a record player.)

-$100 cash. (Buying myself a blanket, a pair of shoes and some grapefruit bath gel.)

That sounds like a win to me. Buy the things you want yourself and have enough to treat yourself to a bottle of wine / cup of coffee. Also you can re-gift the record to your son next year (or sell on eBay).

Yes, I am really pissed off you didn’t have time to wrap my presents and I got handed them from a carrier bag, because you were ‘too busy’. You absolutely could have found 10 minutes to wrap them. And no, I didn’t want oven gloves and a fucking penguin calendar.

Feel better now.

@Magnited

Bell ends. All the kids vegan, alcohol-free and woke. Pretty much overnight. I have half a forest in my larder, a small vineyard in the cellar and evenings are like recording an episode of Newsnight.

I feel your pain.

Adult ds2 don't come over if our lifestyle is so terrible

Oh, some of these…I want to hug so many of you.

This year as you go on about all the things I’ve heard before I switch off mentally I couldn’t give a fuck about Donald or Jeremy oh yes the sainted Jeremy who could no no wrong year you wasted money on him big time. Well I can’t wait to save this year you can waste your pip you properly will anyway, fags vapes, booze studio crap oh yes carry on. For every penny you spend on yourself I’m putting away. Oh yes you’re for a shock big time this year the worm has turned and you don’t like it do you? Why do you think nine o’clock for years I’ve buggered off to the bedroom because I can’t stand the crap you watch also stfu while I do watch a program in the living room which isn’t very often. And thank god 9m shorted sighted enough not to watch you stuff of a knife that’s why I read so I don’t see you eat.

Also as I haven’t said this to anyone else. My 17 year old daughter really upset me this Christmas. She works and bought amazing presents for her boyfriend and friends at college. I tried to give her money like I always do to buy me Christmas presents but she said no, she had plenty of money. I had said I was going to buy a new duvet cover as I’ve just bought a king size bed and only have one set - she said no, she will buy me one. Tried to give her money but nope. Come Christmas Day she hadn’t even wrapped the Apple Watch that I bought for myself let alone buying me a duvet cover etc. Just sad like normal that I come so low in the list of priorities. Next year I’ll spoil myself like I did the girls (her main present was a Dyson air wrap). It’s not about the money, it’s the thought and actually thinking of me that I care about. Obviously I don’t matter.

Paraphrasing my toxic mother's Christmas email: Woe is me, my friend hasn't spoken to me in 6 months, she must be in a deep depression, poor love.

.....No mum, we all love how you shift responsibility for anything, but she's clearly had enough of your sht, your demanding voicemails, desperate victimhood, manufactured drama, blatant lies, casual racism, open homophobia and religious discrimination.

PS If I can find out which elderly individuals you've been visiting on your "welfare" visits without taking a single precautionary LFT (and lying about it, yes I've just found out) I will contact their families personally....

...is what I would say. Thanks, OP. Took a load off.

Blimey.

My parents are selfish. They are nasty to my children and passive aggressive to me. They judge me and look down their nose at me and everything I've worked so hard for. They are tight and mean and simultaneously mange to congratulate themselves on what excellent parents they are and generous grandparents which only demonstrates a staggering lack of self awareness that is utterly breathtaking. It does my head in and I'm planning a way to spend Christmas just with my kids next year.

Ah, that's better Thankyou

1. Why did you say, in response to my telling you that I had been sexually abused by the babysitter, "Are you blaming me?" and "What do you want me to do about it?"
2. Why did you tell me that I had killed my grandmother, and I believed you?
3. Why did you go out of your way to publicly humiliate me?
4. Why did you continually say "I'm giving all the (100 year old Family trust) money to the Cats' Home, after I've spent as much as I can first"? And spend, spend, spend you did.
5. Why did you turn your three clever, academic, professional, and above all, NICE children into gibbering wrecks who still require counselling, in their 70s?
6. Why did you keep a horse whip beside the fireplace, and frequently use it on us, as defenceless kids? And use your size and strength to make it really hurt?

And on, and on ... Now you know why, after you died, I put your photo on a post in the back garden and put 6 rounds of the .22 through your face.

DSIL is divorcing DB. He is outraged and depressed and won't stop calling me. I can't stand him. My sympathies are with her. I just answer his calls and make the right noises while secretly wishing that she is happy. Good Luck, M.

@psuedocream3

I fell out with a toxic family member not long before Christmas so decided not to go to their family festivities this year - and secretly it was the best decision I have ever made. I didn't have to put up with pretentious self righteous behaviour and being the subject of passive agressive comments, or have to deal wih that one family member that gets absolutely wasted, has ruined every family event including my wedding day, and becomes vile and abusive to anyone trying to help them whilst trying to keep the children shielded from it. I had a lovely day with my husband and children, completely relaxed and not a worry in the world or a sniff of drama. Truth be told, I wish we had decided this years ago!

I did this too. It was amazing. Already wondering how I can pull it off again next year. I'm so done with toxicity.

It's my birthday just before Christmas. DP & I have hardly seen each other at all this year (both have children, live separately), so we had planned to go away for two nights, as a super massive birthday/Christmas treat for us both. We both arranged our entire Christmas/ New Year plans around it. His DiL arrived unexpectedly early at his house last week. 48hrs after she arrived, she mentioned in passing that her housemate had tested positive for covid.

'Oh! But I didn't have to isolate, did I? I just came here early so I didn't get it from her.' Immediate test for DiL - positive. Now spread through their entire household, and I have no idea when, or if, I'll see him again. I have missed him so much, and I had been so fucking careful not to see anyone or do anything that might jeopardise seeing him. I could say a few rude words to his DiL right now. But mostly I've just cried a lot, so she might have to settle for me wiping my non-Covidy snot on her face.

@pollyglot I'm sorry x

My DM died this morning. I just want to go to bed and stay there but I have to adult and apparently it's beyond the wit of DH to cook dinner. Just once I had hoped someone else would produce a meal. I'm now having wine and chocolate for dinner they can starve.

@Zzzsotired

And to my kids- I’m sorry I’ve been so sick and you’ve been so sick and our family let us down. I’m sorry there were no parties, no loving grandmas and grandads, no dad, no aunties or uncles doting on you. I’m sorry there was only a little under the tree and that I feel I’ve let you down. I’m sorry life is tough and your mum isn’t always the happy mum you deserve. I’m so proud of you, for pulling together with me, for helping in your little ways, for looking after me and each other. For trying to see the bigger picture and being amazing little people. I am proud more than You know

Hugs to you sweetheart 🤗 your kids sound amazing x

I have to see family tomorrow and am considering making a bingo card to tick off the events e.g. - you having minimal interaction with my child - hearing about what my nephew has done and how amazing he is ( maybe if you made the effort with my child like his other grandparents do you’d find an interesting and funny character) - how any requests about my health are merely an opening into their woes - a general narrative about people I neither know or care about - how my t**t of a sibling wants to make up with me again after stopping talking to me for the umpteenth time for some perceived slight or that I didn’t do what they wanted me to (yeah, I’ll talk to who I want to thanks) and because I have now said no more I’m the bad guy and am the one left out of family gatherings. Reckon I’ll get ‘House’ within half an hour.

Gindrinker43 I'm so very, very sorry

@nonevernotever - that's... quite the gift. Is he trying to tell you something?

MIL, I have no idea why you think giving your golden grandson a load of lovely personal presents, infront of his brother who got 3 bits of random tat is in anyway acceptable. It broke my heart to see DS2 face, and I think it was even worse that he didn't even say anything. He knows you don't like him that much.
It's your loss. I will love him enough for both of us.

Don't tell me you know more about the medication you are abusing, I have looked after addicts for years, you are ticking all the boxes and are a hugely selfish individual to boot.