Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

In laws I do not want to spend all day Boxing Day at your house, it stresses me out and BIL is very annoying. That's why we didn't arrive until 2pm.
MIL we did not need 75 envelopes as a Christmas present thanks, we've had the same envelopes in the drawer for about 3 years.
Sister stop buying me cat ornaments, I like my actual cats, not cat ornaments. I don't really want presents, just grateful that you come and visit on Christmas Day!

@Jeannie88

Lost my darling Dad a few weeks ago so we 3 kids wiyh our partners and 3 grandkids are going round to cook dinner together and spend time as a family. You may moan about it all being a pain but believe me, if you don't make this effort once a bloody year you will look back and regret it. Step up, family really IS important! X

I'm sorry you've lost your Dad, it sounds like you have a lovely family. Not everyone is as fortunate which is the whole point of this thread.

I’m in my 50s.
I’ve been cooking Christmas dinner and hosting Christmas since I was 17.
For the first time ever we went away with our young adult children and it was bloody marvellous.
My mother has been horrible on the phone today and I’ve realised that I’m going to take control of my future.
I’ve broken the dysfunctional cycles of the past and I’m not going back.

DH I'm still upset you made me go to your family all day after we compromised on a few hours. I'm still so sad from miscarriage and IVF and it killed me to sit there all day while everyone just talked about / to your baby niece. They don't care what we've been through, why couldn't we have stayed at home. 😔

I can remember awful Christmases ( particularly the last one) married to a drunken waster. So glad I broke free of him, met my lovely OH who sadly died much too young.
I have peaceful Christmases now, not jolly, not rocking, but peaceful.
I hope everyone posting here who is going through tough times, and especially anyone in danger from DV has happier, freer times to come.
If I had a magic wand I’d sprinkle 2022 magic fairy dust over you all. Stay safe and stay strong.

I am baffled by you
All year of cryptic messages and drip feed about your depression and your unhappy marriage, endless drama about 'will they/ won't they' be coming for Christmas.
Passive aggressive sniping on the family group chat that moved me to tears.
And then when you are here it's all lovey dovey PDA all round and everyone is so happy in this best of all possible worlds
I don't know what to believe. I don't know how to support you or if you want my support
I am tending to the view that you have made your bed and you better lie in it.

My mum will not wear her bloody hearing aid, and then can’t join in the conversation. When I call her out on it she gets very cross and suggests that I’m being unkind

@Belleoverandover

I can't wait for OH to go back to work. Sick of his moaning and threatening to leave (yet doesn't as he spends all his money on his adult son, fags or booze). Nothing is ever his fault, everyone else gets the blame for everything

You leave then.

A lighthearted one.....adult DD, that large, beautiful, thrice-wicked candle you lovingly chose for me for Christmas smells, to me, of chewed celery.......

@Middleagedspreadisreal

I envy you your situations. My husband and I have just spent a fourth xmas alone & it's not nice not to be invited anywhere & all adult children doing their own thing or being with in-laws. Be careful what you wish for.

I can imagine my inlaws saying the same thing, but as they've done absolutely nothing to support us over the last 30+ years and show zero interest in their grandchildren, they can stay on their own.

I’ve been on my own with dcs for weeks, they had to isolate due to Covid way before schools closed for Xmas. Today nearly finished me with all the fighting and eldest dc autistic meltdowns. On top of this dm had a go at me because I accidentally farted in the kitchen. She went on and on about it until I ended up in floods of tears. I’ve been tears since and now wish they’d all bugger off and leave me in peace.

I fucking hate my mother in law and resent that I have to spend ahh time with her. Because of cross communications I ended up spending three days with her.

Pleasant enough days but constant digs and ignorance fuels my hatred 😂

How I needed this thread. If it's truly a judgement free zone, I will say that I hope my abusive XH dies over the course of the next year, so I don't have to spend another Christmas with him crying/poisoning everything and everyone (i.e. our DC) just with the force of his personality.

I have three adultish children with their own incomes. They asked what I wanted for Christmas. I gave them DETAILED info:

• a sofa snuggle blanket $25 (size, color, and Amazon number)

_ a pair of bedroom slippers $20 (size, color, brand and Amazon number)

• The name and where to buy my favorite bath gel fragrance $10/bottle

What I got: -10 pounds of ground beef (mince) neatly wrapped for the freezer.

• a vinyl record of Christmas songs recorded by two singers long dead (I do not have a record player. My son has a record player.)

-$100 cash. (Buying myself a blanket, a pair of shoes and some grapefruit bath gel.)

I don’t like Christmas dinner. Or roast dinner in general unless I’ve not had one for at least two months. Spending time with my in-laws is fresh hell and although they have such good intentions their constant bickering and micromanaging (followed by sighing, huffing etc) of any basic meal is tedious. I do like the wine though

No I didn't need another candle and why didn't you listen when you asked what size ring I wear before buying me one that only just squeezes on my little finger, it isn't funny when again I am left tidying up and funnily enough I don't actually enjoy hunting everyone's clothes down over the house that they want washed and dried to wear in 3 hours time!! Aaaahhhh tell me this isn't just me!?

This thread makes me really sad, all of you deserve a bit of love and kindness at Christmas, and a chance to make merry. Especially with all the crap the world has thrown at us in the last 2 years.

I very much get family drama although there is no one elderly to the point of dependence in my family yet. And I appreciate that must be very hard.
My family all live together 3 hours away (sister, BIL and kids in house with an annex for my parents). My sister and at times her OH are very judgmental, very insistent it's all done their way and very judgmental of anybody parenting different to them. Sister and BIL work hard in high end jobs, but outside of that my sister cleans like it's qn art form and its all that matters. When we visit,she ignores us though the kids adore each other. Her kids are left to wander around most of the time and don't get much attention. One Christmas day their kids waited all day to open presents, one spilt a drink whilst starving, waiting for dinner and only having been allowed to open half a dozen gifts (about 4pm, parent had to work, so he had to wait). He was then sent to his room and missed Christmas dinner, aged 7.

I love my parents but could never subject my children to that, all their ideas about 'good children' the day is about the kids for us, food, wine, happy kids and adults. We don't have the room to accommodate them all but would gladly have my parents, they'd prefer to be at home and have us all but it won't happen. I always have to work something at Xmas too so hard to work that around it.

We had a another year of us 4 pleasing ourselves, good food,good wine, kids enjoying the magic, afternoon dozing it was brilliant. A couple of years ago my sister mentioned that it would be nice for our parents to have one year with us all together and I guilty agreed, but them covid hit and a lot has happened since to make me certain we won't. It won't end well.

OH's mum usually works Christmas but is the most unassuming lovely lady and she's always welcome whenever. I just couldn't imagine having to slave over people and miss the good bits with the kids. I feel I will defend that to the death and honesty some of you must do the same, you deserve the happy times as well.

@GeorgiaGirl52

I have three adultish children with their own incomes. They asked what I wanted for Christmas. I gave them DETAILED info:

• a sofa snuggle blanket $25 (size, color, and Amazon number)

_ a pair of bedroom slippers $20 (size, color, brand and Amazon number)

• The name and where to buy my favorite bath gel fragrance $10/bottle

What I got: -10 pounds of ground beef (mince) neatly wrapped for the freezer.

• a vinyl record of Christmas songs recorded by two singers long dead (I do not have a record player. My son has a record player.)

-$100 cash. (Buying myself a blanket, a pair of shoes and some grapefruit bath gel.)

Beef mince

SIL - my DD isn't coming to your New Year party because she doesn't want to, not because she can't. She prefers her boyfriend's family's company to your family's. Stop pressuring her, or eventually she's going to stop being polite and you'll throw a wobbler.

@FlipFlops4Me

@YuleiamsaidI so sad to read this. Can you speak to someone in real life? Maybe call the Samaritans?

Every year my mum gives me card saying "From Mum". She gave my DD one saying "From Granny".

Even my next door neighbour writes "Love NDN"

I’m fed up of having to be brave for everyone else. This is the first Christmas since my mum passed away and I just wish someone cared about me and actually wanted to know if I was ok or not.

DH, I love you dearly, but when I suggested that we each spend no more than £10 on a present for each other , I really wasn't envisaging that you would buy me a book of guidance and advice for people who think they're really trans. I have tried to read it, but eg the section on the joys of anal sex is not for me.

No , it isn't someone else's turn to do it (applies to several people in this house this week). If it's someone's turn not to do it, that someone is me.