Can’t say it to those close to you? Come say it here. Judgement free zone.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I’ve 4 grown kids. They are all here for Christmas. Ds1 is going home today. I can’t wait. (Of all of them hardest to get on with, hates his brother-it’s mutual. He’s a lazy git.) I’ll be able to relax when he’s gone.
I am also looking forward to dh being in work tomorrow so me and Dd can sprawl on sofa watching shite.
I also hate Christmas cooking.

Came home from my parents today. Have loved seeing them and spending time with all my family but back at work tomorrow.
Can't say I'm looking forward to it and will probably be busy and get told off by my manager but am quite looking forward to seeing other people and having a break from family.

Sooooo grateful reading these posts and realising i'm not alone. Please exercise some caution, talk of death and eating disorders ahead. Here goes:

MIL - I know your husband passed away this year, but i've used every single ounce of sympathy up now by responding to every sigh and groan coming out of your mouth since you got here. You also spoke to my Mum like she hadn't also lost someone she loved and made every single second of the day about you and your grief despite knowing your husband was going to pass away for about 4 years. You know full well that my Dad's death was sudden and shocking and, frankly, much less dignified than your husbands so just take a bloody hint.

I'd also like to add that you were NOT invited to come and stay here in my SD's bedroom (WITH MY SD!!) for a week (we only have 2 bedrooms and one bathroom) while your other son has a perfectly lovely 2 bed home all to himself about 30 mins away. Also YES I am getting triggered by your blatant attention seeking behaviour around food because I actually struggled with anorexia for about 10 years and have only just felt comfortable in my own skin. And no, I don't give a toss that you've only eaten one banana today and are still sh*tting through the eye of a needle and have 'tummy ache'. Go and mess someone else's toilet up and leave it for them to clean. This is the last year you're imposing on me and my family.

And finally, how about buying your son an actual Christmas present with all of that money you got from your late husband - yes you read that right, she got him absolutely nothing. Don't mind us just trying to keep our heads above water with spiralling costs of literally everything.

Rant over

This made me cry, i can relate to it. My mum has now gone and I feel both guilty and relieved at the same time..... Sending my love

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon

I'm about to switch off the wifi, confiscate DD's phone and computer indefinitely and insist she does something else. Having a sulky pre-teen that won't wash, won't eat, won't come out of her room and barely speaks to me (and won't read either) is driving me insane. I took her and her friends out for the day just before Christmas, had everyone round to dinner, friends' parents were surprised and grateful but DD won't even have a shower if I ask. I'm running out of 'nice things to do' because DD doesn't 'want tooooo'. DH has decided to go back to work and I hardly blame him. ILs are spending time with SIL's perfect children (gymnastics champ, football ace, top of every subject, school awards, get on marvellously together and do wholesome and enriching activities off their own bat..) so we're hearing a lot about how wonderful they are. I'm seriously considering moving into the shed with the hamster, who is at least speaking to me (or squeaking).

Snap! My DS is exactly like that this year. Missing the christmas magic and didn’t expect this year to be so totally different. In-laws, ungrateful screen obsessed DS, Covid disrupted plans… first world problems but I’m constantly tired and sad and angry and just want to hibernate till the world feels ok again.

@Beastieboys

This made me cry, i can relate to it. My mum has now gone and I feel both guilty and relieved at the same time..... Sending my love

Big hugs to you too

@Bitconfused75

My lovely lovely mum is in the advanced stages of dementia. She is fragile and thin and has forgotten how to eat and is all but lost to me. Listening to her keen for my dad who died many years ago is truly tragic and I really really hope this is her last Christmas because I can't bear to watch her like this any more. Please go Mum, please just don't wake up tomorrow morning. I love you too much to watch you like this.

aww this is so sad,, sending love your way x

We are at my parents house in the US and I am very, very happy to be here given the year we have all had. I love all my family & we get on well; my siblings all live nearby or are staying for Christmas and new year. Yay. So far so good.

My DP on the other hand … has spent every day hiding away; reading; going back to bed endlessly; doing no childcare, cooking, or cleaning. He expects me or his in laws to do it because he’s ‘on holiday’. He’s had some issues this year and I do have sympathy for him - and I know it’s not his house so he may not feel as comfortable here as I do (he hates his mother anyway & has no other family so I’m not denying him the chance to see his own family) but for the love of Christ pull your finger out… I’m now hiding downstairs with a book & have instructed my mom to go get him when she’s done playing with my DD. She’s 3 so she needs constant attention; it’s not like she can just chill by herself. Grrr. Is it too much to ask that I can relax too?

@psuedocream3

I fell out with a toxic family member not long before Christmas so decided not to go to their family festivities this year - and secretly it was the best decision I have ever made. I didn't have to put up with pretentious self righteous behaviour and being the subject of passive agressive comments, or have to deal wih that one family member that gets absolutely wasted, has ruined every family event including my wedding day, and becomes vile and abusive to anyone trying to help them whilst trying to keep the children shielded from it. I had a lovely day with my husband and children, completely relaxed and not a worry in the world or a sniff of drama. Truth be told, I wish we had decided this years ago!

Well done! Doesn’t it feel empowering. I went NC with MIL and PIL earlier this year after getting sick of toxic passive aggressive bollocks, playing me off against DH etc. This was my first stress free Christmas in about a decade. Felt good to do things my own way without them controlling the entire festive narrative.

My mum is very lonely, largely immobile and has (we think) early onset dementia except of course with covid getting her diagnosed (or even to see a doctor in person) is virtually impossible.

My dad has been taking the DC out and about in the fresh air doing fun things but I've stayed at home drinking tea with mum while she talks at me for hours. I love her so much and am painfully aware she won't be here forever but I'm someone who likes silence every once in a while and the lack of it is killing me.

I actually took my phone to the loo for a while earlier to read the news in peace... and when I came back she started asking me about my bowel movements because I'd been in the bathroom for so long.

Ds1 has gone home! We drive him and dog home, pull into his drive and he’s forgotten his medication. So we drive home and get it.
I do smoked salmon bagels, Christmas sandwiches, baked Camembert, cheese, nuts etc. Dh has one fucking sandwich and screws his face up like a child. Ds2 eventually comes down, won’t speak, is almost crying. Bottles everything up.
And Dh is driving mikes to do his hobby tomorrow. Dd has been here since Saturday goes back Friday,he’s spent no fucking time with her.

I hate that my parent's hate each other and I have to still alternate them for special occasions and we can't mention them to the other or if our children mention them there is an eye roll or they just ignore. They've broken up and gotten back together three times over the last 40 years, it's exhausting at times and they never ask me or my brothers how we felt about it, or if we are ok. Being an adult seems to make it seem like it shouldn't upset or bother us much but it really does and we all never talk about it, it's the elephant in the room.

Over my dead body are you coming to London with me in, no chance I’ve got plans they certainly don’t include you, whinging going on “oh I want to see church’s” well tough I’m doing museums and meeting a very special person jog on it’s not happening.

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Ds1 has gone home! We drive him and dog home, pull into his drive and he’s forgotten his medication. So we drive home and get it. I do smoked salmon bagels, Christmas sandwiches, baked Camembert, cheese, nuts etc. Dh has one fucking sandwich and screws his face up like a child. Ds2 eventually comes down, won’t speak, is almost crying. Bottles everything up. And Dh is driving mikes to do his hobby tomorrow. Dd has been here since Saturday goes back Friday,he’s spent no fucking time with her.

If he doesn't like the food, he can do it next year.

If he doesn't like the food, he can do it next year.
This is now pinned to my fb page.
(Tbf he has eaten everything in sight)

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

If he doesn't like the food, he can do it next year. This is now pinned to my fb page. (Tbf he has eaten everything in sight)

I like it.

Seriously, how rude is it to eat something and make a face like a child?

Like so many men on here, he needs to be in charge of it for one year. One year. 2022. And see how easy it is.

I hate spending time with my selfish DH who seems to think Christmas just happens and I can do it all as I’m “on holiday” Counting down the years till I can do what I want at Christmas, even if I’m my own.

My SD is being a brat and for once I think her mum is right to put her foot down for her smoking weed and bringing boys home.
My DH needs to see his DD for who she is and take responsibility for his lack of discipline and support for his ex leading to this.

Oh...and DP, we have been together for over 20 years now and if you can not possibly think of a single thing that I would like for Christmas or birthday then you must hold so much more contempt for me than I realised. You also have a nerve saying to all and sundry "oh Mothra you always get me the best presents ever". Well yes I do DP and I also get lovely gifts for all your family too and cook a lovely dinner for DSS and his mother/your ex-wife on Boxing Day and entertain them while you sit quietly and make the occasional stupid comment! God I've been such an idiot so perhaps you have given me a gift after all - the gift of falling scales from eyes.

@Mollymoostoo

My SD is being a brat and for once I think her mum is right to put her foot down for her smoking weed and bringing boys home. My DH needs to see his DD for who she is and take responsibility for his lack of discipline and support for his ex leading to this.

Forgot to add...SD is 16.

Spent Christmas on my own with my kids as going through divorce due to "D" H running off with OW a few years ago. Anyway, parents live far away. Called my Dad and my step mum spent the whole call telling him off for breaking his Christmas present, so I made my excuses and hung up. Then I called my mum to listen to her moan how she hadn't heard from my brother since July (I can see why)for 30 mins then she started reminiscing about my ex and how we had lovely Christmases together.
Yes, thanks Mum for bringing that up. I hung up thinking thank god I am on my own this year.

I'm sulking in a very childish way mainly… It was my birthday yesterday & i'm 8m pregnant & feeling crap. A relative announced her kids wanted to see my DD (2yrs old) and my DSis's DS (1 yr old), so i ended up hosting them which meant a rushed breakfast, shopping for supplies, tidying up, mess etc. Plus, despite my best efforts to put age appropriate toys out for the 1 yr old he wasn't supervised properly & got hold of some of DD's Xmas presents & chewed them badly which meant I then had a panic about him getting lead poisoning (from the paint) & now I have to replace £30 of DD's toys! 🙈 so I cancelled the rest of my birthday & I am doing it another day instead. First world problems and all that 🤣

I envy you your situations. My husband and I have just spent a fourth xmas alone & it's not nice not to be invited anywhere & all adult children doing their own thing or being with in-laws. Be careful what you wish for.

And DP.... that charity bag at the top of the stairs does actually have those toiletry gift sets in which will be dropped off at the charity shop on my way to work tomorrow. I know that you will notice them but that you do not have the balls to say anything because you are a coward to boot.

Hear that Mumsnetters? That's the sound of ducks being shooed into line!!!

Best thread ever - thankyou!
Have just returned home from family visit...I cannot wait to chill on the sofa in my PJS eat choc & catch-up on the soaps...
Family are welcoming but...
DNs are pre-teens with no discipline & stinking attitudes
My DS is a brat because he needs entertaining & feeding (he's 5) & I got him too many presents.
DBro-in-law watches sport on the tv at all times
Lunch at 4 and Dinner at 9/10pm meaning
i'm starving & had to keep a stealth selection box
DS 3hrs late going to bed & is exhausted
Badly behaved pets that rule the house...

I'm sure there is more; that was cathartic!

DS came Thursday night. Ate steak, posh dogs, turkey (including all the leftovers intended for sandwiches), roast lambl. Drank daughters apple juice. Decided moet was not to his taste (gift). Spent boxing day watching the football on my sitting room telly. I had to retreat to my bedroom. He went home last night, hoorah. I had my sofa back, a argument with my sister (long time coming, couldn't have it with him there as he interferes) and woke up to some peace. Love him , miss him but I think guests are like fish, they go off after two days!