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Original poster

Would you expect to provide all alcohol over Christmas for your young adult children?

185 replies

MacNTosh · 21/12/2021 18:11

DC’s all at Uni are home for Christmas and it’s lovely to have them all here, but I’m feeling a little miffed about them drinking any booze we get in ie. bottle of gin was drunk in one night, I had two drinks they drank the rest. Dh and I have cut down the amount we drink over the last couple of years which has coincided with the dcs being older/going to Uni. I can’t work out if I’m being a bit miserable and should just accept that they’re enjoying not having to live on a budget at home and just let it go or if they should be getting their own drinks at this age.

Christmas Day/Boxing Day will be covered as various family members are all bringing wine etc as are we.

They have part time jobs so have money in theory although one has spent everything this month.

What do you think?
A. It’s Christmas, they’re students, provide all the booze
B. They should buy their own some of the time

OP posts:
motheroflions · 22/12/2021 09:31

So B!

onedayoranother · 22/12/2021 09:32

You provide it, though if you don't want them over indulging then just have beer and wine not spirits. Unless they have jobs and can afford to buy their own it seems mean just because you've cut down. I mean you are buying extra food so why not extra booze?

Comefromaway · 22/12/2021 09:36

I make sure that we have drinks in for all visitors over Christmas (including my adult daughter) and I would specifically buy what I know she likes. However I don't expect anyone to have more than their fair share.

Toplowlight · 22/12/2021 09:38

My parents always provided the booze when we were young adults, but I wouldn’t have felt hard done by if they had asked me to contribute.

SaveUs3rname · 22/12/2021 09:42

My parents always provided booze when I was younger however now I'm a "proper grown up" we divide up alcohol into a list and all buy some to spread the cost.

Nothing wrong with saying to your children that they need to buy some replacements! I wouldn't have drunk gin at uni, far too expensive!

Ragwort · 22/12/2021 09:46

Agree it does depend on your finances and, to a certain extent, your attitude towards alcohol. We all drink in our household, the norm is wine/beer most evenings, DH will occasionally have a brandy. We can afford it and our 'drinks cabinet' (don't actually have one but you know what I mean!) is always full regardless of whether it is Christmas or not. So I would totally expect to provide my Uni student DS with booze when he comes home, I know he likes gin so we buy one bottle, he often buys another ... but he wouldn't just help himself to our drinks or finish them off.

I don't buy in special alcohol for Christmas just drink it all the time.

HunkyPunk · 22/12/2021 09:48

I wouldn’t expect adult children to have to contribute when they come home, or ration themselves, but bottle of gin was drunk in one night would have me slightly concerned that they were drinking too much!

RedHelenB · 22/12/2021 09:56

A that's what I'm doing although they wouldn't drink a whole bottle of gin in one night.

I'm enjoying having them home and spoiling them.

SundayTeatime · 22/12/2021 10:03

My young adult children have more disposable income than I do. While I’m happy to provide food, anything extra special that they might want they would have to get themselves. We don’t ever have alcohol normally.

DillDanding · 22/12/2021 10:27

Unless you’re hard up, let them drink the booze!

friedeggandsauce · 22/12/2021 10:29

I was trying to think back to what happened when I came home from uni. I don't think I drank much in the house but would be out loads so spending my money in the pub!!

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2021 10:31

Ours don’t drink alcohol. We provide everything else though.

TheWeeDonkey · 22/12/2021 10:42

A although a whole bottle of gin in one night is a bit much.

Having said that DS has come back all skinny and boney and doing a good interpretation of the Very Hungry Caterpillar at the moment bless him 😂

doubleshotcappuccino · 22/12/2021 10:50

A but I would probably leave put a more generic budget brand and keep a nice bottle hidden .. I also do that with chocolate! Large quantities of whatever they like then a little squirrelled away for when I want it .. everyone happy.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 22/12/2021 10:56

B. You’re not even expecting them to buy all of their own, just some of their own!

There’s having a nice time at home and then there’s taking the piss… and I’m afraid drinking almost an entire bottle of gin in one night and not offering to replace it falls into the latter category for me!

Elnetthairnet · 22/12/2021 11:04

A all the way! But maybe buy cheaper stuff!!

shinynewapple21 · 22/12/2021 11:10

I have a DC this age, not a student . I wouldn't have provided all his alcohol either when he was living at home, or when he comes round now. If we go out for meals, we pay, and he is welcome to drink some of our alcohol at home, but not in the quantities he necks it back . If I had a DC who was just an occasional drinker I would think differently . Plus he's earning, so that may put a different slant on things .

beautifullymad · 22/12/2021 11:15

If they are brand fussy, top up with Aldi's own brand. It's cheaper and it's lovely they are wanting to be home and celebrating with siblings. I think this is more important especially after the last few years.

BornOnTwelfthNight · 22/12/2021 11:18

We provide a small amount as I don’t drink and Dh likes a can of cider now and again. So Dh has bought in a crate of cider and larger. We have a few of bottles of wine and Prosecco that Dh has been gifted that we won’t drink, so they’re welcome to that as well. We don’t have spirits in the house at all.

Dd (still at home) buys her own alcohol and when ds comes back he’ll buy extra alcohol if he’s going out/to a party. But tbf they’re both really sensible about drinking and if they “do” have a drink in the house will only have a one or two. They usually save themselves for going out with friends/partners.

DropYourSword · 22/12/2021 11:22

Depends entirely whether you can afford it or not!
If you can afford it then yeah, I think it’s nice to treat them.

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 22/12/2021 11:25

@MacNTosh

DC’s all at Uni are home for Christmas and it’s lovely to have them all here, but I’m feeling a little miffed about them drinking any booze we get in ie. bottle of gin was drunk in one night, I had two drinks they drank the rest. Dh and I have cut down the amount we drink over the last couple of years which has coincided with the dcs being older/going to Uni. I can’t work out if I’m being a bit miserable and should just accept that they’re enjoying not having to live on a budget at home and just let it go or if they should be getting their own drinks at this age.

Christmas Day/Boxing Day will be covered as various family members are all bringing wine etc as are we.

They have part time jobs so have money in theory although one has spent everything this month.

What do you think?
A. It’s Christmas, they’re students, provide all the booze
B. They should buy their own some of the time

A

In fact, we were at the pub when DS's work shift ended early so we invited him there and bought him a drink.

Would not provide it for him going out with though.

PainterMummy · 22/12/2021 11:35

Yes. I’d provide the booze. If they’re drinking that much gin, I’d go to Aldi or lidl for off brand booze. It’s just as good. Same with mixer.

Velvetbee · 22/12/2021 12:12

No way! They buy their own.

SundayTeatime · 22/12/2021 12:23

@PainterMummy

Yes. I’d provide the booze. If they’re drinking that much gin, I’d go to Aldi or lidl for off brand booze. It’s just as good. Same with mixer.
If they were drinking that much gin, I’d be concerned. I certainly wouldn’t be enabling them.
CaptaNoctem · 22/12/2021 12:44

Definitely A

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