Would you expect to provide all alcohol over Christmas for your young adult children?

[MacNTosh]

DC’s all at Uni are home for Christmas and it’s lovely to have them all here, but I’m feeling a little miffed about them drinking any booze we get in ie. bottle of gin was drunk in one night, I had two drinks they drank the rest. Dh and I have cut down the amount we drink over the last couple of years which has coincided with the dcs being older/going to Uni. I can’t work out if I’m being a bit miserable and should just accept that they’re enjoying not having to live on a budget at home and just let it go or if they should be getting their own drinks at this age.

Christmas Day/Boxing Day will be covered as various family members are all bringing wine etc as are we.

They have part time jobs so have money in theory although one has spent everything this month.

What do you think?
A. It’s Christmas, they’re students, provide all the booze
B. They should buy their own some of the time

I still drink my parents booze at Christmas and I’m nearly 40! I do tend to bring a bottle of Prosecco but we have been known to deplete my mums gin supplies on a few occasions.

They should absolutely be pitching in! They could buy a bottle each - or, suggest cocktails on Christmas Day, each buys the ingredients for one and then all make

A. Here and one DC has graduated, and working, although only zero hours contract at the moment. All food and drink provided when they come to stay and anything else that comes in the supermarket shop. If they are out to a party and need to bring a bottle they will get that themselves.

To be fair in the past my parents have always provided the food and wine too, they don’t drink spirits although would get gin in if requested by their adult grandchildren.
Now my siblings and I usually bring and prepare the food as DP are getting on, although DF still does beer, wine and fizzy drinks for the under 18s and drivers

Put the good stuff away and stock up on cheep can and pissy Prosecco.

I have great memories of us all going home and swigging mum’s sherry in coffee mugs though

I'd get cheap beers/ciders and boxes of wine. But they'd be hidden away until Xmas eve! When it's gone, it's gone. If they want spirits, then they have to buy it themselves. I'd hide my bottle of gin in my bedroom, for my consumption only!

How many of them are there? Bottle of gin between two is a bit much in one session, if you’ve got six like I have and then add your couple of drinks doesn’t seem so bad.
Always had a couple of kegs of homemade cider ready for Christmas etc when my kids came home from college

A.

But feel free to place some restrictions on this. For example, if you buy a nice bottle of gin for you and DH, tell them it's off limits as it's your special one.

Always have and always will, just waiting for my eldest to take off and will be picking him up at the airport later. He can have champagne every night if he wants having not been able to see him for two years😍

Unless you are going to drip feed that you have 8 children, then yes drinking a whole bottle of gin is excessive.

I always had free rein at DM’s house, and would expect DS to drink whatever he likes when he’s old enough, but equally I wouldn’t be expecting that to mean litres of spirits each night. More like a couple of glasses of wine with dinner (a bottle split between three of us), and maybe a glass of mulled wine, beer or g&t later on. Not getting trollied. Our families aren’t massive drinkers though.

As soon as I left to go to uni, I had to take my own groceries to my parents house whenever I went there on holidays etc 🙈🤣

Drinking it all without asking is rude. So you go to pour yourself a glass, and guess what, there’s none left! That’s quite thoughtless.

A. But they should, of course, be reasonable about it and not greedy. A whole bottle of gin is unreasonable, a g&t each, fine.

My mother is tea-total and quite anti alcohol so has never provided more than a bottle of wine for Christmas dinner! So the idea of my parents paying for me to get drunk is alien to me
However, I don't begrudge my young adult son a drink or three of whatever I have in. The younger kids (16& 17) will also have a wee Christmas drink within reason!

I wouldn’t be worried about the cost as my local Tesco sells gin for about £16 a bottle. Cheaper than a couple of drinks in a pub.
However I would be worried that they appear to have drunk 14 units each, a weeks allowance in one night and it’s not even Christmas yet.
My DC’s in their 20’s are coming home for Christmas but they will only have a couple of drinks a night same as they did when they were at uni.

Definite A here. My dad was a total feeder and so am I, my best friend ended up with three drinks at one of his big birthdays when three of us fetched her one separately I sent them a case of Bordeaux for Christmas last year (his last one ), so it comes back around.

I wouldn’t have any in as I’m not a drinker. If they are going to be necking a bottle of gin a night, that’s a problem.

@BungleandGeorge

Drinking it all without asking is rude. So you go to pour yourself a glass, and guess what, there’s none left! That’s quite thoughtless.

Its their home Should they have to ask for food and drink?

We provide the booze for anyone here at Christmas (however painful that is 🤦‍♀️)

Definitely A.
We all used to do this. My parents loved to have us all back at home, drinking them dry and shouting and laughing until the small hours. Very happy memories.
Now we're all older we turn up with boxes of booze and meat and delicious things and quite deliberately leave them with more than they started with.

@TheHoptimist so what? Not every item in your home belongs to you. Should they go to each other’s rooms and take whatever they feel like as well? If the kids buy a bottle to take to a party is it ok if the parents help themselves over dinner?alcohol is a treat and not a staple food stuff but if you’re an adult making no contribution it’s possibly a bit thoughtless to take the entirety of anything without checking it’s ok, or having some thought to replacing it. Or should a parent have to go shopping every single day to replace any items that the kids have taken all of on a whim?

We have bought most of it but the bigger drinkers (we have 3 at university) have bought anything they specifically wanted. Dp lugged 12 bottles back on Sunday for Christmas to add to the 5 I've already bought.

Yes I would as I parents did and still do.

A but mine aren't students! They are young working adults, one with his one place.
I am more than happy to lay on food and drink so they can have what they want and when they want.

To be fair they offer to bring a case of beer or a few bottles round but I tell them not to. They do order us takeaways and bring us nice things from the Christmas markets as a treat though!

We buy our adult children all the booze even though they all have great careers now when they're home for Christmas. Then every year they never drink it so we are left with a drinks cabinet full for the whole year. Dunno why we do it!

If they are big drinkers they should buy some in

I would also suggest you put out daily rations of cheap beer and wine, and put spirits and decent wine under lock and key. (it’s what I do.)