Would you expect to provide all alcohol over Christmas for your young adult children?

[MacNTosh]

DC’s all at Uni are home for Christmas and it’s lovely to have them all here, but I’m feeling a little miffed about them drinking any booze we get in ie. bottle of gin was drunk in one night, I had two drinks they drank the rest. Dh and I have cut down the amount we drink over the last couple of years which has coincided with the dcs being older/going to Uni. I can’t work out if I’m being a bit miserable and should just accept that they’re enjoying not having to live on a budget at home and just let it go or if they should be getting their own drinks at this age.

Christmas Day/Boxing Day will be covered as various family members are all bringing wine etc as are we.

They have part time jobs so have money in theory although one has spent everything this month.

What do you think?
A. It’s Christmas, they’re students, provide all the booze
B. They should buy their own some of the time

Definitely A as long as you can afford it. Make home a place they want to visit and come back to.

I always seem to have a lot more spirits in my drinks cabinet than wine. Wine seems to disappear fast and so does beer. Home Bargains have some canny gins in, not expensive either.

Mine do this and it doesn't bother me but if I was short of cash it might. Love having them back.

A

DS helps himself to our drinks. He even makes cocktails sometimes. He drinks beer most of the time though and only usually drinks wine when we do. If I don't want him to use something I hide it (chocolate stash usually).

A ….without doubt.

Having said that, ‘Christmas’ is a day (or a few days)
NOT a month!

Middle ground of free flowing drinks for a day or two catching up when they first get back. Free flowing again during your actual celebrations/when friends are round/special festivities
But a random Tuesday a few days before Christmas Day for no particular reason beyond wanting to drink for the sake of it……..not so much

A, unless you can't afford it

I'd easily solve this one by providing wine and beer but not spirits. That's reasonable I think

A. My mum used to pop snowballs in my stocking and send me back to uni with various odd bits of alcohol. Plus wine etc when I was home.

They weren't massive drinkers though so most of what I drank was at the pub with home friends.

Are you assisting them financially while they are at uni? If they require assistance then they are unlikely to have spare money to contribute. Though I would expect an adult to know not to drink more than their fair share and to leave enough for others. You may need to make it clearer what they can and can't drink.

It would depend how much they’re drinking really. You don’t have to supply them with all the alcohol they want for the whole time they’re back. They are probably drinking it because it’s there. If it weren’t they wouldn’t buy any. But that means it’s never there for you.

You aren’t actually asking about Christmas. It’s more a should I supply my adult children with alcohol any time they’re home, or expect them to buy their own sometimes?

It depends on your financial situation OP. Can you afford lots of booze?

Also, a whole bottle of gin in 1 night!!! Unless you have 8 children, this is A LOT!

I would be surprised at a bottle of gin going in one evening.
But then I come from a G&T before dinner/ Wine with / afterwards culture.

My parents generally provided all the booze at home. But then none of us drank excessively while there.

However, if it's all you can afford, you tell them in advance that they can't drink it.

A - if you're a family that drinks at home id expect you to provide it. But it's all a bit alien to me. We're a drinking family but in incredibly small amounts it seems. My mum would be a bit surprised to finish a bottle of wine at one meal, and they couldn't afford spirits when I was a kid so I don't expect it. I'd be a bit stressed if ds and friends polished off a bottle of gin, I'd expect that to last months.

It's highly relevant how many children you have. Your phrase "they are all home" suggests 3+. So 5 adults drinking "home measures" of 50ml is 3 large G&Ts each over an evening, assuming the bottle is 750ml. Hardly excessive if you are only providing G&T.
Also saying how much you drink, now, as a middle aged adult is irrelevant. It sounds to me that you used to drink quite a bit as you comment that you have cut down the amount you drink. How much did you drink at 20 ?

YABU

A

A big fat B from me.

A
Used to love coming home from uni to a well stocked cosy house!
If you can afford it why wouldn’t you?

I stock up. They're welcome to it. (but just buy the cheap gin )

My children are only small but I was always made a fuss of when home from uni, especially by my dad, and so I think i'm likely to be the same when my two are home for Christmas

They drink different things from us. We buy beer for them but anything else they get themselves. We’ll offer the odd gin or whisky but they won’t take it otherwise.

They may be guzzling you out of house and home but it's likely that in a few short years they will have partners/spouses, their own homes and children, spend less time with you and you may look back fondly on these precious years, as will they.

I'm sure they will treat you in the years to come!

Tip : buy cheap supermarket spirits, sounds that they are all about quantity and not quality!

When we were students we frequently brought back bags of 'shopping' from my parents' having cleared out their cupboards. My parents have always been enormously generous with us - they never charged us rent when we lived with them, they bought our first cars, to this day they pay when we go out for lunch with them.
Now when my parents come and visit us we have toddlers so go to bed early and leave them downstairs. We frequently find our wine stock depleted including the fancy bottles that were corporate gifts. We just feel happy that they enjoyed it and get more for next time they come.

A