What's it like to be properly well off at Christmas?

[ImJustNotMeAnymore]

Just that really. We're not poor but not able to throw money around. There are things our children would like, such as new pc, gaming equipment, horse, car and so forth, that are out of the budget this year but they won't have nothing.

My question is for those who have bigger incomes and no money worries. What is it really like especially at Christmas?

I don't ever eat more than 1 fig though, too risky!

We're not rich but comfortable with a household income of around 190k in a very expensive area.

We don't spend loads at Christmas, we just buy DS what he wants/needs without really thinking about it. We also spend quite a lot on outings at this time of year.

We're definitely not rich and not poor either, but I think we spend a considerably smaller amount on Christmas and birthday presents proportionate to our income than lots of people we know. It's not 'sneering', it's just that neither dh nor I grew up in families who spent loads on presents! We don't spend much on our dc the rest of the year either tbh!

This is true for us.

My DC, 9, got 4 presents from us totalling less than £55, but they were things he wanted and he's really happy with them.

We know a very well known couple who have more money than I can dream of 🤪

Anyway, they spend very little on their children at Christmas as they went to teach them the value of money and that they have to work for what they want.

Genuinely it's the relief of not having to worry about money and the ability to cope with changes in plans/the unexpected without panicking. I still feel gratitude that I earn enough money to be able to spend within my means and don't need to dwell on every penny. I mean a horse or car is not in my budget but that doesn't really matter - everyone has their own definition of means - it's just horrible when you can't even achieve that.

@TheHoptimist ok I realise I am NOT well off after all

[quote chillimice]@TheHoptimist ok I realise I am NOT well off after all [/quote]
That was a guess. I dont know the answer. But for cars and horses you need that much.

We’re well off and Christmas is lovely but not elaborate. I think it’s maybe because we buy items as we need/want them throughout the year so there is never a big build-up of gifts. I have a big family so do spend a lot, but not an excessive amount per person.

I’ll be lynched for this bit but anyway…

The people I know who go most overboard at Christmas are the ones who I know can’t afford it. It’s starting already with the Instagram/Facebook and WhatsApp posts with hundreds of resents in elaborate paper and “I hope I have enough for the kids, they deserve the world”.

Household income just under 200k. We
don’t mad at Christmas, we spend under £1000 on presents for our family of five (all adults). I don’t notice the increase in food as we already spend really a lot each week. We’re having Christmas lunch out and going to the panto on Boxing Day and then have a 2 night hotel break the next day.
We enjoy Christmas but because we do nice things all year and can buy what we like it isn’t as big a deal as it is for other families.

It offers the opportunity to host more (if you want to) or to disappear to the other side of the planet if you don't want to. I guess finer vintage wines and produce and less stress perhaps, but beyond that I am not sure wealth changes that much about Christmas.
Christmas is about love, family, friends and goodwill and you can enjoy those thing without wealth. The best things in life are not always the 'things' you can buy.

Anyway, they spend very little on their children at Christmas as they went to teach them the value of money and that they have to work for what they want

This is such bullshit because as someone has posted up thread it’s always accompanied by unimaginable luxuries.

Claiming you’re not going to buy DC a play station so they learn the value of money whilst DC live in an enormous house with their own suite or annexe, never having to worry about whether to put the heating on or whether there’ll be a fridge of food (or open account at the local luxury food store); ski in winter sail in summer, membership at tennis clubs and all the other trappings is smuggery of the highest order.

Now i've typed it up, god it sounds an awful lot!!!!

I think that once you take the essentials out of much of your list they’re really aren’t that many presents.

My no budget Christmas compared to one in poverty:

2 trees
Beauty advent calendars
£70 turkey from butcher
High end/ made from scratch with the best ingredients trimmings
Lots of extras- nice chocolates and nuts, nice cheeses and biscuits
No frozen food
New PJs and books for all
Presents from shops rather than school fairs/ charity shops
Going to events
A variety of alcoholic drinks/ cocktails

I never thought of myself as properly well off until I realised how much we actually have. Our income isn't extremely high, but we do have a very good standard of living. We own our home with a low mortgage in a desirable area, have done work on the home without going into debt, own a car, have a membership at a local club, our daughter doesn't want for anything, and we don't go into debt around Christmas. We buy her items year round as she needs them, and don't make her wait for Christmas or her birthday (unless it's a month before either). We go on holidays, visit my family in the States yearly (sometimes twice a year if Covid wasn't here), and have the money to send our daughter to a very good (expensive AF) nursery without struggle.

We also don't buy huge gifts for Christmas. This year our 4 year old is getting a "new" iPad. Air. It's my iPad, but she's essentially taken it as hers so we've found the old packaging, wiping it clean, bought a new case for it, and giving it to her as a "new" tablet. She's also getting quite a bit of new little things, like a little camera to take photos (about £25), some books, more paints, and some clothes for her Barbies. That's essentially it. We also donate toys in her name at Christmas, so we take half of her budget and donate those toys/food/money to a local charity.

She also gets a lot of experiences, so Disney on Ice in London. So, she gets a weekend in London, with DoI and ice skating. We live in York, so that's a weekend trip. We're going to the States in February, and taking her to Frozen musical, Grand Canyon, hiking, professional basketball and hockey games, etc.. Taking a trip into Mexico with my family. All of these experiences are bought as her Christmas gifts. And some of these experiences are gifts from my family.

So, while our income isn't exceedingly high (£95k combined), with our low cost of living, we feel quite well off.

I’ve experienced both ends of the scale, raised by a single mum on a very rough council estate growing up to now being a 120k per year household and Christmas isn’t really any different. Santa brings the stocking and that’s it. Just because I can spoil my daughter doesn’t mean I will. Christmas should be about family and spending time together, not presents.

We do a mix in terms of presents. Normally spend about £60 per child, but could be more depending on need (oldest is 11), which I think is quite enough. And will generally buy what is required through the year (eg bike) if I need to, though that being said, I do have a tendancy to 'group things' to make more of Xmas/Bday. Eg for instance this year DS needed a new cricket bat, which became apparent in november, but he is getting it for Xmas rather than my buying it in november. However, if I had seen the need for it in spring I would have got it then, rather than waiting 9 months for Xmas to come round, if you see what I mean. Same with books - any books I have bought them over past couple of months will be given at Xmas, rather than drip fed before, but that's just so they have the feeling Xmas is more special. And I do same thing for a few weeks before their birthdays, but I don't 'store things up' more than that.

My parents had hardly anything, but they made sure me and my sibling had bloody loads to unwrap on Christmas day - just pre-tech days, so we're talking toys and socks and games and books etc., but my mum would buy straight from the January sales and throughout the year to make it a really special, lovely day where we really got treated with thoughtful presents, wearing secondhand clothes the rest of the year. I look back with such joy and thanks and felt so rich for a day 💝

It’s lovely just being able to choose, and I’m very grateful for that choice.

We don’t spend loads on presents, except sometimes we do. DD got a silver flute last year because that was what she really wanted. She’s got a hoodie and some books this year. I’ve commissioned a special painting for DH. None ever got a car, or, thank god, a pony!

We host multiple dinners over Christmas. And that’s where most of our money is spent. On many Waitrose shops, wine orders, floristry, and visits to the butcher/ game dealer. Goose, beef fillet, venison fillet, grouse, turkey and side of salmon for various dinners with family and friends this year. We also have room to put people up which is fun ( usually).

And we don’t have to think about the cost of trips to London to see shows and visit restaurants. We never do ‘shopping trips’ but I do treat myself in Liberty and Fortnums when I’m nearby. But most trips out are dog walks and carol services.

It’s not really much different in feeling to christmases of my childhood. Happy, muddy, with people we love. But with better wine!

DHs family are much better off than mine. He doesn't get big gifts, just at least 2-3kg of cheap chocolate & sweets which is mad - he would absolutely rather have 300g of something really nice!! But he does get cash, usually between £400-1k and has had that amount since being a teen.

PILs spend about £150 on each DGC but my family do the same despite it being a bigger part of their budget.

Yes we work in reasonable jobs but to be honest his windfalls at Christmas and Birthdays make a big difference to being able to get on with some job on the house we'd been thinking about etc so we're really grateful for it. And the occasional £50 from my side can make a month much more fun!

Having been poor and now being comfortably well off, I can say it's bloody wonderful.

Being able to buy presents that I love for family and friends
Being able to buy any food and drink that I want
Not having to count the days til January payday
Being able to attend all the Christmas parties and social events that I want and buy outfits for them
Not having to worry about the boiler or car or anything else breaking

Anyone who says there's no difference has never been poor.

I don't usually comment on stuff like this but I do think there is a bit of a faux ignorance from some posters regarding the underbuying/overbuying associated with middle and working classes respectively.

I do think it is a general trend/statement regarding "consumerism" and "tackiness" so while I don't think any of you are sitting there wrapping your DC's presents literally thinking "this will show those working class heathens how it's supposed to be done", I do think you'd have to live under a rock or be in denial so say that no one is influenced by that. Obviously it's not the be all and end all of why people choose to give what/how much they give though!

The experiences over material things at Christmas makes sense to me if you are well off. I am not well off by any means but my kids do get quite a lot between me and my mum and I'm already looking at non material gifts for next year. So if you can afford it I bet there is actually much more scope to do that rather than to constantly think of actual objects to buy.

Also I don't get the "no gaming" posters.

Games are really good for kids as long as they aren't the sit online all day type ones like Roblox and Fortnite, etc.

There's also the joy of giving to take into account. For the seriously well off that's something that's part of their daily lives but for a single mum on universal credit it's something that has to be planned for and can only happen occasionally like at Christmas.

But in answer to the op, it's very nice not to have to worry at Christmas or at any other time. Both our dc are quite careful with their money as are we. That doesn't alter the fact that they and we are privileged but I hope they are grateful for it.

DH had very comfortable parents but they were killjoys and he looks back at times like Christmas and holidays with a degree of distate due to the constant scrimping.

If it works for a family there's no shame in a big pile of presents once a year. I'm sure the dc don't expect it continuously and are glad and thankful and have a great day.

Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus - birthday presents come with celebrating birthdays. As long as we remember that's the meaning of Christmas and the worship of material consumerism is a by product that's surely what matters.

@Rachae

What an interesting thread! I was just curious ... What's the household income or monthly disposable income for 'well off'? Xx

I think being ‘well off’ means being able to fulfil all your desires (and save money) without worrying about your budget or going into debt.

So I guess that figure will vary depending on how many children you have, your outgoings, where you live and what you consume.

It's the absolute lack of worry. I think we're pretty well off (not sure if it quite counts as properly!) and we don't go overboard on gifts.

But we have a lovely big house and are having 15 friends and family staying over Christmas Day and Boxing Day, Covid permitting, and I know that being able to do that, with all the expense it entails, is a huge luxury.