What's it like to be properly well off at Christmas?

[ImJustNotMeAnymore]

Just that really. We're not poor but not able to throw money around. There are things our children would like, such as new pc, gaming equipment, horse, car and so forth, that are out of the budget this year but they won't have nothing.

My question is for those who have bigger incomes and no money worries. What is it really like especially at Christmas?

It blew my mind on another thread where I was moaning about the fact that the DCs other parent won’t contribute towards university and some people commented what they just can’t go then it’s a bloody given it’s just absolutely not in question. Buying crap for Christmas though forget about in six months time in my opinion isn’t good parenting, paying their rent at uni, buying their first car, getting them driving lessons that’s what being a supportive parent is about.

@berberry not that it was his Christmas or Birthday present but he did get it very close to. However his birthday is on Christmas day so we could pick if we liked. TBF it was a very elderly ka for learning to drive in and probably cost less than some people's present piles notwithstanding the insurance

What's the household income or monthly disposable income for 'well off'?

Probably quite subjective as it depends on a number of things including age, age of dc, location, commitments.

DH is a law firm partner & earns 7 figs. The dc get conkers & satsumas on xmas day.

I can't remember the name of the op who said their dd couldn't have a horse because there wasn't space but if she had one she'd have to work to contribute. If she had a horse and was in full-time education, she wouldn't have time for a little job!

I jest of course. They are both still young so have just bought them what they asked for/I think they would like. Not added any of it up but can't see it being loads.

We are comfortable I would say. My child is only a baby but as he grows I hope to remain in the same position. I haven't went crazy this Christmas as he is literally 6 months and has no clue.
My parents were not well off but spent £500 on us each year as they saved all year for it.

What's the household income or monthly disposable income for 'well off'?

Well the OP prefaced with “properly” and it’s all in that word

Properly well off supersedes subjectivities like where you live and how many DC you have. This is irrelevant.

@Insertfunnyname

Household income about £300k

Children are 10,9,7 and 5 (all boys)
They don’t have any gaming stuff. This year they’re getting books, Lego, arts and craft stuff, clothes, board games, bath bombs, etc etc. no single item is over £100

Just personally choose not to spoil them Altho they’re hugely lucky with what they’ve got. Spend a lot on experiences, travel, hobbies.

Just because you can spend it doesn’t mean you should.

Agree hugely with this. Though our household income is nowhere near £300k, more like £130k. We don't go mad. Don't spend more than around £100 on my daughter at the moment. About £30 on cousins. About £150-200 on parents though. We shop for our food at aldi and tesco and my daughter gets supermarket clothes and toys with some secondhand bits for eco reasons mixed in. Support small local shops too buying toys there.

We do spend on xmas activities like panto and it is nice to do those without worrying about the cost. Similarly santa breakfasts and nice lunches. But I'm not talking expensive places just that these things add up and I appreciate are a luxury no matter where you go for many people.

There may be people on my income way more lavish than me but I grew up working class, am very careful with money and loved my Christmases growing up so see no huge need to change the way my parents did it for my daughter.

Not rich rich per se, but comfortable. (3 bed house with mortgage, both of us working, 2 cars.)

I've probably gone a bit more mad than I intended to this year tbh - largely because it's the second Christmas with no family visiting because of Covid and not able to do the nice Christmas things like Santa visits, Christmas parties etc. I have been spoiling both hubby and DS a bit. (I am absolutely aware that buying material stuff does not compensate in any way for lack of family visits and experiences. I think I lost my mind a bit tbh. Got a bit swept up with Christmas hype .)

Have spent about £230 on DS. About £150 on DH. About £40 on my brother. And small £10-15 pound gifts for 2 uncles and 2 close cousins.

@Iputthetrampintrampoline

I am not rich by any means and it means I budget and start buying gifts early on in the year and that works for me but just thinking after reading this thread how lovely it would be to sit down one evening of my choice and do christmas there and then with a nice glass of wine and a list and just order everything needed and put it to bed! I think that would be a wonderful luxury,and I am pleased for those who can, I would like to relinquish the stress more than the cost! It is time consuming when you have to budget and seems to take forever to get organised, I have been buying gifts for everyone since march so one here this month,one next month etc and I still have the food to sort out well any day now!! It takes all sorts to make the world go round! I wish you all a really happy ,healthy,christmas however you spend it with your loved ones,

This is the sort of difference I think it makes. The things I buy arent hugely different but it's the luxury to just buy things without thinking or worrying and whenever I have time to not having to time it with money coming in on a particular date.

We don't have a set budget for Christmas and DS is still too young to write a list of what he wants, but I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity. I always try to buy a handful of carefully chosen gifts rather than lots of meaningless ones and we don't do stockings either.

Overall DS still gets lots of "stuff" at Christmas, because immediate family generally have the opposite philosophy of wanting him to have lots of things to open, even if they're poor quality/not of interest to him. Each to their own 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do agree with some PPs though that we also buy things as he needs them throughout the year rather than piling all the pressure on one occasion.

@mclaw

DH is a law firm partner & earns 7 figs. The dc get conkers & satsumas on xmas day.

How old are DC?

We are not super wealthy but comfortable and spend around £100-150 on our one DC. We could spend much more but don’t want to spoil her. I also prefer to buy lots of little things rather than one or two big expensive items so that she has lots to open. I’m aware her tastes may change as she gets older and Christmas/birthdays will become more expensive by default, but I can’t imagine spending more than an absolute maximum of £300 and even that seems excessive to me now.

How old are DC?

5&6, I was being facetious

To be fair (we are at home for Xmas instead of going away as dd has covid and there is a beautiful luxury barn conversion standing empty with but a Christmas tree to adorn it) our half dozen presents under the tree do look a bit stingy.

We spend around £3.5k on Christmas by the time we add up gifts, parties/nights out, light things & Santa visits, food and drink for the day itself and various meet ups around it, new clothes, replacing some of the decorations, seasonal donations etc. It’s really not the gifts that cost the money in our case it’s the entertaining and family days out. We’ve so far had drinks with our friends in early December, movie night with friends for one child and crafting/cake decorating day for the other, two visits to Santa’s grotto things, a couple of family meals out. Christmas dinner planned for 10 with drinks has cost more than either of the kids gifts individually and of course it may not even happen.

@mclaw

🙌👏😂

Made me laugh so hard I spat out my tea. Thank you.

@whattodo2019

I think families on lower incomes seem to go more over board on Christmas presents than families with higher disposable incomes. We would be classes as high income earners and we buy our kids large stockingsie a pillow case full of presents- DD 16- Charlotte Tilbury makeup, Hat, scarf, books, shower gel, Victoria Secret bras and pants, Games, phone case, Oliver Bonas bits ie inscent stick holder, The White Company eye mask, slippers and hair bands, Sand and Sky face mask and scrub, silk pillow case, Hair turban,Personalised makeup bag, shampoo PJ shorts....

DS14- lots of socks, boxers, books, Guiness Book records.. shooting socks and tassels,
gloves, hat, fleece snood, shower gel, shampoo, cocktail shaker, chocolate bombs, ....

DD's main presents under the tree- new jeans and trousers from Jaded, top, handbag from zara, (not to mention the dress, black trousers and two pairs of shoes i bought her last week to wear to parties over the weekend..)

DS - all he wants ins money so he is getting £300 towards annee bike which he is saving for plus £50 as his socking is smaller than his sisters

Now i've typed it up, god it sounds an awful lot!!!!

But I would never dream of giving essentials as a gift. So clothing, underwear and toiletries dont count as gifts.

As people said above, maybe the difference between being well off and not is that you just buy your children things when they need them rather than waiting for Christmas. And you dont need to but essentials as gifts.

@RestingStitchFace 😉 I aim to pls!

@mclaw

DH is a law firm partner & earns 7 figs. The dc get conkers & satsumas on xmas day.

Who gets the 7 figs?

Do you mean Chestnuts rather than conkers?

@Rachae

What an interesting thread! I was just curious ... What's the household income or monthly disposable income for 'well off'? Xx

I would say at least £5k a month after paying for all bills, food and holidays?

crafting/cake decorating day for the other,

A day of crafts & cake decorating?!
We made gingerbread men yesterday & decorated them, clean up took longer than the actual decorating! Made some snowflakes & paper chains & the 5yo had a tantrum that their snowflakes didn't look like snowflakes (they didn't). Off to the zoo today, fingers x that's more enjoyable!

Who gets the 7 figs? DH does but it's mine really!

Do you mean Chestnuts rather than conkers?

nope

@thehoptimist I would say we are well off but my.DD will still get some socks, clothes, hair accessories etc as part of her xmas gifts. I do get her what she needs when she needs it during the year too but I guess I always got some clothes and socks etc for xmas so just do it for her too without really thinking about why :/