What's it like to be properly well off at Christmas?

[ImJustNotMeAnymore]

Just that really. We're not poor but not able to throw money around. There are things our children would like, such as new pc, gaming equipment, horse, car and so forth, that are out of the budget this year but they won't have nothing.

My question is for those who have bigger incomes and no money worries. What is it really like especially at Christmas?

My son gets what he needs when he needs it and I just bought in the past month shoes,hoodies,pajamas,socks. He gets a main present and several small ones. He actually seems to enjoy decorating the house for the holidays the most. He wants for nothing and we are very fortunate

My parents aren't super wealthy however we are definitley middle class and as an only child and grandchild I get more than most however generally I'll get clothes (400) and money (500) however whilst I'll admit i'm overly spoilt I do give back and so generally spend around 100 on each parent. Some would say it's materialistic however my families opinion is that because they came from poorer backgrounds they want to spend now.

I am not rich by any means and it means I budget and start buying gifts early on in the year and that works for me but just thinking after reading this thread how lovely it would be to sit down one evening of my choice and do christmas there and then with a nice glass of wine and a list and just order everything needed and put it to bed! I think that would be a wonderful luxury,and I am pleased for those who can, I would like to relinquish the stress more than the cost! It is time consuming when you have to budget and seems to take forever to get organised, I have been buying gifts for everyone since march so one here this month,one next month etc and I still have the food to sort out well any day now!! It takes all sorts to make the world go round! I wish you all a really happy ,healthy,christmas however you spend it with your loved ones,

Your list of things your DC might like but that are out of your budget varies wildly: PC or gaming equipment presumably £00s, a car (!) or horse (!) £000s. Presume only a tiny proportion of DC will receive a car or horse, at any time of the year!

We have a very good joint income. DC are teens and so the things they would like are more pricey. I haven’t added it up but suspect we’ve spent about £400 per child. Their piles are not large, a hoodie, couple of tops, pair of jeans, some book sets, PS games, oodie, edible bits and that’s about it.

We don’t buy things throughout the year unless it’s stuff like clothes, shoes etc. We wouldn’t just buy them a toy for example when they were younger unless it was Christmas/birthday. I grew up in a working class family though which I suspect influences my approach to that sort of thing significantly. However, if I wanted to buy something, I could and wouldn’t need to worry about saving for it (within limits of course).

We are properly well off and I find it overwhelming. I’m grateful that I can shop without thinking of the cost and I don’t need to worry about heating, but I really struggle to find the balance with presents. (DH and I both grew up in poor environments and both earn 6 figures now). As pp have said the DC get things like bikes or clothes when they need them. They have so much stuff, there is literally nothing that they need, but lots that they want. I struggle with the excess, I struggle with not giving them what they want, I struggle with the idea that they don’t know what it’s like to really want something and have to put all your birthday or Christmas money together to get that one coveted thing. We are also fortunate to have friends that want to buy for them……but I literally ran out of things to ask for. I just feel like I’m going to drown in gifts in the next week.

I actually think the main difference comes around the cost of christmas food. I feel very lucky that I can just buy whatever we fancy and no thought about it. Household income about £90k but no mortgage. Clearly not as well off as some people on this board but I feel (and know) we are very comfortable financially

The whole Dudley Dursley thing of "36 presents? But last year there were 37!!" has really stuck with me. There's absolutely no point going crazy with presents, whatever your budget, because kids almost immediately stop appreciating it anyway.

If DD7 needs something I buy it through the year. She doesn't have a games console or phone and has a £150 tablet bought on sale.

I do go present crazy at Christmas as I love spoiling my family and I am making the most of the 'Santa' thing while DD believes.
Non of us are foodies, so standard M&S/Waitrose fare, though I can't tell the difference between that and Tesco.
Lots of dog walks, a few pub Lunches and dinners and that's about it.
Our Christmas is really quite basic and traditional.

DH and I are not rich, but we are comfortable and want for nothing.

The rule in both of our families is that we only buy for children. DH and I have no budget and just buy for each niece and nephew what we think they’ll like. We don’t go crazy as we would make our siblings feel uncomfortable. We take food and alcohol to every house we visit without thinking and as pp mentioned, we can go to any events we are invited to without worrying about cost.

My biggest luxury these days (not just Christmas) is putting anything I fancy in the trolley - I remember the days when I had to do a week’s shopping on a tenner.

We genuinely buy each other absolutely nothing for Christmas. We buy what we want throughout the year when we want it. There isn’t a single thing I want or need.

I am comfortably off and go completely over the top at Christmas. There doesn't tend to be any major present for each child, just a lot of things around the £20-£40 mark and a load of little things too. I had absolutely shit Christmases growing up and am delighted my dcs don't have that. I do worry that they don't appreciate it though but that's a worry all year long for me.

Reading other responses I realise that I didn’t even consider the events/activities.

We flew to UK to see parents on Fri. Sat big event. Yesterday went climbing took nieces and newphews. Tomorrow panto for us all. Wednesday “fake Christmas” in UK full on Christmas Day with family then Thursday we fly home for “real” Christmas.

I guess OP it’s just do everything that appeals without any regard for the cost?

We are comfortable and I find Christmas quite overwhelming. I go to a shopping centre, know that I could buy almost anything in there and still afford to heat the house, and it seems too much for me. I hate it when I end up buying crap for my DC to balance out their stockings. I don't know what the answer is.

What an interesting thread! I was just curious ... What's the household income or monthly disposable income for 'well off'? Xx

What a fascinating thread!

Having been in both positions I would say that other factors are involved too. A Christmas when a loved pet is put to sleep or relative dies is still really sad and money doesn’t change that. Well paid partners have incredibly hectic Christmas schedules working every day of the week. I know of a law firm partner who worked Christmas morning from 4am on the verge of a breakdown and in reality they were no use to their family later anyway. So I will probably get criticised as patronising and I do know what it is like to completely run out of money and not be able to pay expensive bills but other things are also crap. That stuff does still happen when you have less money though and it is true that the money helps cushion you as it helps you cut corners/ get out out sudden issues. My money largely comes from my father’s sudden and traumatic death though. It is complicated

It's a chuffin nightmare because everyone just buys what they want year round. Lynx Africa. Novelty pants. Some nice clothes, jewellery. A lot of money on food and alcohol. Not piles under the tree.

I wouldn't say we are well off, but my dc do generally get what they'd like during the year, so Xmas is more about a few odds and sods for them rather than big ticket items. My dd needed a new horse riding helmet recently that cost nearly £200, so I told her if she wanted it at the time (in December) it would form part of her Xmas and birthday gifts. I think minus the helmet, we've spent approx £250 on them each this year.

My dd would love a horse, but even if we had the space for one (that's the reason we don't have one) I'm not sure it would be a Christmas gift. She's have to work for it in some way.

We are pretty well off but don't spend much tbh. Total for our teens is about £300 each as they didn't really want anything. Dh and I don't buy each other gifts apart from one small silly thing (under £10). My family and I also don't bother we just meet up for a meal out. I'm not a big fan of present giving and never want them for myself - I usually just end up with a load of stuff I don't want and feel guilty people have wasted money!

I don't buy much more for food or drinks either. I'm not a big spender!

We don't struggle for money at Christmas. Mainly because we have no kids

*not each, between the two children

@Rachae, it's all relative isn't it? I could say our hh income is xxx and some people would say we were very rich, while others (presumably from London etc) would wonder how we survived!

Personally, I feel we're able to spoil dc at Christmas, but if I could get them cars and horses every year, I wouldn't.

I spoil every one at Christmas though. Not just the dc and I feel lucky to be able to. We do spend quite a bit on good quality food and drink etc. It's obviously nice to be able to, but I always enjoyed Christmas (ignoring covid) and perhaps didn't enjoy it any less when we didn't have much money, which is quite telling.

Oh just noticed others were doing outings and stuff too. We go to Christmas at Kew every year and also get the train up to London to see the lights. Went to the Palladium panto once but it's too expensive so haven't been again.

@Dozer

Your list of things your DC might like but that are out of your budget varies wildly: PC or gaming equipment presumably £00s, a car (!) or horse (!) £000s. Presume only a tiny proportion of DC will receive a car or horse, at any time of the year!

Cars are something we give as par for the course. They’re always brand new and for when they finish their first degree or the equivalent of. Prior to that there was always a couple of run around cars that anyone could use once they had their license. The car was never a reward for uni - just the means to start their working life nicely and to set them on the road to their grown up life. After that would come weddings that are traditionally paid for by family then a helping hand towards a home/things for a home.

It doesn’t mean children are spoilt. I find it in fact means the opposite and that being on the receiving end of this kind of set up usually means the adult children are all the more mature for it.

My DS has so far been just as much, if not more, happy with his home made presents and hand me down gifts as the big ticket items! My side of the family are big present mad, DH side very much on the small/home made gifts camp and I must say I feel happier with the latter.