When is having kids lovely at Xmas?

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

Mine are 3 and 1. Don't get me wrong - I've spent a small fortune and a lot of thought on presents and I know the 3 year old will love his.

But. We have to stick to routine or all he'll breaks loose. Neither of them have any concentration span or ability to play alone (or even with me on one thing for a while). I want Xmas Dinner. It will be stressful because the children will be moaning for me while I'm cooking it and then we will spend 30 mins clearing the table, floor and surrounding areas up. I can see us going to the park to get out for a bit.

When will it start to feel a bit more relaxed? It's just the 4 of us.

Yours are still so young. Ours are 7 and 8 and probably easy the past 3 years

Oh that has given me some hope.

It's so bloody hard at the moment

I like sticking to our routine and going to the park 😂. I put the tv on while cooking. Last year was sad as lockdown but quite chilled just us

5-10 is thr golden years if you ask me, but there is some magical stuff in the 3-5 range. Can't your partner step up a bit in either doing the cooking or occupying the dc?

It just feels so relentless at the moment and Christmas doesn't seem to offer any break... just more of the same with more washing up.

We pretty much posted parallel threads at the same time (I posted about the pain of being childless at this time of year)

Enjoy the magic but selfishly I’m so glad to hear it’s not all wonderful

@Youngatheart00 I'm sorry to hear that..I can't imagine how hard that is to come to terms with.

But no. Its not all wonderful. In fact I think if people were honest they would say its mostly grind - at least at this stage. Do you have any friends with children you could spend more time with? I know it isn't the same as having your own but it could give you some lovely experiences

P.s. your thoughts aren't selfish at all, they are sensible and accurate

Primary school age. Toddlers and babies are endless hard work. Teens are moody. Primary age is the best, they still believe in and love the magic of Christmas but are independent enough to not dominate every minute of your time.

Mine are 6 and 2 and Christmas is bloody hard work I'll be honest!
Especially working and all the extra jobs that seem to need doing in December

I'll be happy when all the extra Christmas stuff can be put away so much stuff everywhere it's stressing me out!

3-9 is the magic age. So one of yours will be getting there now, and in 2 years time you’ll be able to enjoy the first of 6 really magical Christmases

It's lovely when they are asleep 😂

Early primary was fab. Now too old - no Christmas magic left, just a consumerist, demanding tween who wants the latest tech. So I’d say age 4-8 was best, 9 trickier and 10 is definitely past the golden years, at least in our case

Aww it is honestly amazing from about 5 upwards! Mine are only a little bit older now and already I missing that golden time of just pure and utter magic.

I remember my child's 2nd or 3rd Christmas being awful. Seriously overtired with visiting, overwhelmed by all the presents and no time to actually play with the things they wanted to.

It got much better from there. We have a routine and limit the visiting and spread it over 2 days now xx

Reading this thread has really made me realise that I’m on the countdown to being out the other side of the ‘best’ years, with my DC -10 (still believes) and 7. . It goes so fast - don’t wish it away!

Not happened here yet - DC1 is 9, ASD and finds Christmas very difficult. DC2 is 7 and she adores Christmas but gets very very over excited and emotional. DC3 is 3 and into everything, total whirlwind. I find it all very stressful!!

DS is 4.5. Last year was lovely, but we had some tears on Christmas Eve because he was too excited to sleep.

This year he is old enough to want to buy gifts for everyone (he is very generous at the best of times). Old enough to enjoy meeting Santa, opening his advent calendar, writing in Christmas cards. It’s lovely.

Small children are very very hard work💐

About 4 on they start buying in and if you persuade them about christmas it keeps going. My 17 year old is beyond excited.

I want a Christmas like that! I’m a single mum and it’s always just us 2 in mornings. We go to my parents for dinner but I’d love to have the chaos of multiple children and cooking dinner to eat in our home.!seems silly cooking for us 2 and she always wants to see my parents. I’d love a Christmas cooking and having lots of kids around!

My eldest is 4 and last year was okay but this year has really started to be magic. Even when she jumps out of bed to see what the elf has done and me and dp look at each other in horror because we forgot so we have to distract her while one of us goes and makes a mess😬.

My youngest is 2 in January and he's still in the nightmare stage. I actually have a bald patch on my tree where he keeps grabbing things off it! He doesn't really understand yet but dd4 has started writing Christmas cards and talking non stop about Father Christmas so I'm hoping by 2023 we'll have an actual nice Christmas

My kids are older but I still relate - the only regular day thing I get to skip on Christmas is laundry (but I have to do double to catch up!). It’s still full time tidying and and catering and washing-up all day, but with presents and some enforced sit-downs at some points!

When your youngest is 4 IME.

Christmas is traditionally bloody hard work for zillions of women. In the majority of households women carry the can for present buying and wrapping, food shopping, preparation and clean up, admin around social occasions, and that's on top of the long list of children's Christmas activities.

It's a time which for some reason is promoted as enormously exciting and wonderful when the reality it means a huge increase in cost and stress to many. And that's before the expectation of family get-togethers send stress levels soaring for people who don't have family they can or want to be with.

In your case OP honestly I would keep it super simple.

You say you have spent a lot, you could possibly rethink that next year. There is no need. Very small children are usually happy with very little.

They don't need lots of outings or extras either. Decorations and songs and some presents are brilliant.

With regard to cooking and cleaning, is there a reason why your partner is not also cooking, cleaning or looking after the children?

It should never be hard work for just one member of the family.

My children got the magic of Christmas from 3 and still look forward to the traditions we have established.

It started being nice when DCs were 3 and 5yo. They are 5 and 7yo this year, and so excited. I know they will be happy to play with their new toys with little input from us or watch a film whilst we get the food cooked, as they have the last 2 years, which really takes the stress out of it.
OP you shouldn't be wrangling kids whilst trying to cook. Can either you or DP/H take them to the park to burn off some energy whilst the other gets the bulk of the cooking done? Buy in pre-made sides to ease the load? I find starting on the first glass of something cold and fizzy at breakfast aides with the stress