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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

When is having kids lovely at Xmas?

114 replies

DueyCheatemAndHow · 19/12/2021 22:46

Mine are 3 and 1. Don't get me wrong - I've spent a small fortune and a lot of thought on presents and I know the 3 year old will love his.

But. We have to stick to routine or all he'll breaks loose. Neither of them have any concentration span or ability to play alone (or even with me on one thing for a while). I want Xmas Dinner. It will be stressful because the children will be moaning for me while I'm cooking it and then we will spend 30 mins clearing the table, floor and surrounding areas up. I can see us going to the park to get out for a bit.

When will it start to feel a bit more relaxed? It's just the 4 of us.

OP posts:

thetinsoldier · 19/12/2021 23:57

Not when they are 14 and 18 anyway 🙄

Then they don't give a shit...

Chocorangeinthestocking · 20/12/2021 00:02

Mine is 3.5 and I’m a massive cheese all
so am loving all the Christmas excitement, but it’s exhausting and relentless just every day and have sort of accepted that this is life and I only rest when I sleep…or not really then as I get woken up at times 😫
It *Will get better, all part of the chaos of life

Chocorangeinthestocking · 20/12/2021 00:03

*Cheeseball

Your Dh could play with them whilst you’re cooking, surely?

GoGoGretaDoll · 20/12/2021 00:06

Honest I don't mean this in a snarky 'my child has SN and therefore all my Christmases were shit' way because actually most of our Christmases have been actually amazing, but the only way to make that happen with a child with ASD is to work with their routines and I think if you do that, life gets easier much, much quicker. So:

Don't go overboard with presents, it's completely overwhelming
Open one present at a time and if it takes until the 28 of Dec to get through them, then that's what it takes.
Only have visitors who can work with you, not against you (I recognise this is hard!)
eat Christmas dinner at their normal tea time, and while I'm totally in favour of having all your favourite things, make sure their favourite things are on there too. If your one year old is in a phase where they'll only eat chicken nuggets, stick some nuggets on the table. Reduce stress at all times, but particularly 'big meal' time.
similarly, if smoked salmon and scrambled eggs will cause a toddler melt down at breakfast, give them some wheetabix.
simplifying Christmas Eve and trying to avoid a huge build up, with a late bedtime and the inevitable teariness, will knock on to Christmas Day. Make that a really calm pottering about at home day, do Christmas activities before and after but keep Christmas Eve quite simple.
If your kids aren't right without a trip to the park and a nap, take a trip to the park and give them a nap.

I know I sound like a fun sponge! But the Christmas my son was 2.5 was the day I went 'hang on, this behaviour isn't within the range of normal. That's not his fault, but I'm not having this Christmas again.' Paring it back has made it easier. Making it easier has made it fun.

GoGoGretaDoll · 20/12/2021 00:07

Just realised my first para sounds like I'm suggesting your kids have ASD - sorry, that wasn't what I meant at all! Just that the tactics I've used with my child with ASD can actually be really helpful for all kids.

AliceMcK · 20/12/2021 00:24

Do you have to make a full on Xmas dinner? We never did when ours were little, we did food the DCs would enjoy and food that didn’t take long. We have always been very relaxed Xmas day so the DCs enjoy it. They are now 4,7 & 9 so obviously older and can entertain themselves but we are still doing an easy dinner this year we are doing tapas with everyone’s favourite bits of food. Everything will be done in 30mins. We don’t eat till about 5/6pm. We just do a basic breakfast, toast, cereal while presents are done then brunch about 11/12, brunch is pancakes, bacon, sausage, fruits etc which DH makes.

We make a big deal of making the table fun, we always put out a colouring table cloth for the kids to colour in. This year I’ve also got colouring placemats. The table will be elf themed with elf legs on the table and chair covers. There is plenty of time for fancy elegant tables when they are older.

stuckinarut21 · 20/12/2021 00:24

When the youngest gets to 3 it gets easier I think (mine will be 3 in a few months and I've noticed that after 2.5 it's getting very slowly better)

CheeseyHam · 20/12/2021 00:37

Now I have boys aged 15 18 and 19 I yearn for those gorgeous Christmases we used to have , when it was all about Father Christmas and wide eyes. Now they will be hungover on Xmas morning and not long In from a club (apart from the 15 yr old who doesn't get up anyway) and will only be interested in their new iPhone upgrades and that's it.

PermanentTemporary · 20/12/2021 00:41

The best ever Christmas was when ds was 5. He loved everything in his stocking and then we spent the morning building the Lego fire engine. Utter peace and contentment.

Megan2018 · 20/12/2021 00:42

DD is obsessed with Christmas and she’s only just over 2 (but with well advanced speech and understanding), but there’s just the 3 of us Xmas Day so it will be very laid back. We will do presents over a week. We are hosting Boxing Day, but DH does all the catering, and grandparents will entertain toddler.
Christmas Day I have no expectations that she will eat anything apart from chocolate, we will just do things as they come, eat when it’s ready and I’ll stay off the wine until bedtime. I think it’s easier when the adults outnumber the children. We aren’t having any more so it’s not likely to get any harder than this. I think it sounds really hard with 2.

Due to Covid we have avoided most activities and to be honest going forward we want to keep it low key. We used to host Xmas Day and plan to revert to that again eventually. But have conceded that it’s too hard while she is tiny.

Icanflyhigh · 20/12/2021 00:47

Mine are 9, 12 and 17 and sadly I've realised last Christmas was the last one filled with any sort of magic as the youngest no longer believes.
That made me cry.
It isn't easy with tiny ones but I'd give anything to have a pre-schooler again who is in awe of everything and thinks its all magic.

stinkycheeseman · 20/12/2021 00:57

It's always going to be a let down, you have spent hours earning the money, planning the presents, buying the presents, wrapping the presents. On the day they will be overexcited and up at the crack of dawn and then will be shits for most of the day. At some point tempers will fray and there will be storming. You will go to bed thinking 'what was the point of that then?'
After time all everyone will remember is the good bits, that's why we do it again next year

Borracha · 20/12/2021 04:14

Mine are 3 and 5 and this is the first year they have both fully grasped the concept of Christmas and been able to do fun Christmas activities together (previously DC2 was too young and was still very hard work)

But then 3 months ago we had DC3 and now everything is chaos again I'm already looking forward to next year when she will be old enough to plonk in a high chair at dinner time rather than me having to a) hold her whilst I eat or b) fight to get her to sleep before we sit down for food

Blossom64265 · 20/12/2021 04:38

Age 4 was perfect Christmas magic.

Peanutmnm · 20/12/2021 04:43

Mine are 8, 7, 6 and 4. They are just gorgeous this year. They were good last year too which was a revelation, very notably easier. But this year is even better, so much fun. So much easier. Helpful even! The did the tree together right to the top with zero intervention from me!

Pysgodywibliwobli · 20/12/2021 05:37

My children are 6 and 4yo which is peak magic. They are total believers, very excited, love toys still.

However 4yo is waking at 4.30am everyday because they are so excited to see where the bloody elf has moved!!

It's exhausting being the adult preparing stuff at any age though.

icklekid · 20/12/2021 05:44

I don’t know if it helps but definitely take pressure off making it perfect for kids and parents - we used to have Christmas dinner when the children napped or after they went to bed. They didn’t care about the meal and happily had pasta or similar. We also made sure to include things they enjoyed such as the park or took them out separately. It didn’t have to be this idea of all together if that doesn’t normally work at a weekend. It’s ok for them to watch cartoons they enjoy not a Christmas film for example. Mine last year were amazing and we did everything together as I had envisioned it eg. Dinner together and nice walk, presents opened more gradually rather than in a mad present rush! They were 4 and 6. I think the previous year was nice too but definitely more child focused. This year they are excited for things they remember last few years and hopefully grandparents will be able to join. I’m also hoping grandparents can take them out during the day so dh and I can just sit and have half an hours peace!

EnidFrighten · 20/12/2021 06:20

I have a 5yo and 2.5yo. Last Christmas at home was a bit pointless and stressful, one person on cooking and one on childcare duty. The whole pandemic thing didn't help!

This year it's easier, I think when my youngest is 3 it will start to be less of a stress fest.

Pre prep anything you can to reduce work on the day - we had a christmassy pie last year that was easy to cook. Get dressed up, play with balloons, get out for fresh air. I don't think you need to go overboard on presents. Plan some simple activities that will keep them quiet, eg making Christmas shapes out of Duplo or doing play dough.

Changemaname1 · 20/12/2021 06:46

Over the years iv learnt to stress less and enjoy myself / relax more as being the key for a good Christmas

Being single probably helps as it’s just me and dc to please

Older dc here and still feels magical and fun 👍

TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 20/12/2021 06:50

Christmases can sometimes get easier now. Mine are 31, 30, 14 and 10 but my youngest has ADHD. We have to enforce rules as normal or he feels insecure and kicks off. Hormones appear to be kicking in too. I can't have him talking to me like shit but I don't know how to stop him without making him worse.

rrhuth · 20/12/2021 06:50

Maybe you need to adjust your expectations a bit and stop trying to do everything?

It sounds like you can either have a regular day with your child's routine, or you can have the full works Christmas dinner etc. You need to choose which matters more, pick one, and enjoy it.

We have never done the big Christmas dinner, because once you ditch that it is a brilliant relaxing day. We have lovely food, but not the type that requires hours in the kitchen.

So our Christmases have always been very nice, but because we did what would make us happy on the day.

rrhuth · 20/12/2021 06:52

Also going to the park for a bit is the best bit of Christmas - we would buy e.g. kite, park toy specifically for this. The best is when they get a new bike/scooter/roller skates etc.

stayathomer · 20/12/2021 07:06

I agree with the 7 and 8. Op 1 and 3 is so hard (with lovely bits of course!) You're doing great! I remember my 11yo being hyper at 5 and me thinking 'this is never going to get easier' and suddenly it did!!!

Caspianberg · 20/12/2021 07:06

Just 20 month old here.
In terms of Xmas prep and stuff I have been trying to do some bits in advance, and then some bits with him.

We made gingerbread dough whilst he napped yesterday, then actually had a nice time making gingerbread biscuits with neighbour over. Basically he just used cutters and like play dough.

We also haven’t planned any large gatherings. There’s a higher adult to child ratio most the time which helps

mistermagpie · 20/12/2021 07:06

Oh it's a never ending grind. We have three kids aged 2, 4 and 6. It's the same with holidays, I just can't imagine it being a relaxing and lovely time, The 6 year old on his own would be fine, so I'm thinking we've another 4 years to wait until they are all normal human beings?

We've had three Christmas days out recently, all of them had moments of proper joy and moments where I wondered what the hell I was doing with my life. This kind of sums up most days actually!! I'm hoping for more of the joy as they get older.

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