When is having kids lovely at Xmas?

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

Mine are 3 and 1. Don't get me wrong - I've spent a small fortune and a lot of thought on presents and I know the 3 year old will love his.

But. We have to stick to routine or all he'll breaks loose. Neither of them have any concentration span or ability to play alone (or even with me on one thing for a while). I want Xmas Dinner. It will be stressful because the children will be moaning for me while I'm cooking it and then we will spend 30 mins clearing the table, floor and surrounding areas up. I can see us going to the park to get out for a bit.

When will it start to feel a bit more relaxed? It's just the 4 of us.

@Bumpsadaisie

5-10.

Mine are 12 and 10 and I fear we are coming out of the golden time into the mouldy time - DD12 going on 13, hormonal and huffing and puffing about all festivities I try to organise.

We walked home from our local cafe where I had taken them for Xmas hot chocolates in silence yesterday. In a hail back to toddler days I told them that I was not going to sit there another minute and listen to them bickering and complaining.

DD was sitting there with the most enormous delicious hot choc with cream and marshmallows and still spent the whole time complaining that her brother had a better deal with his raspberry cream cake (she had herself been given the option of a cake but chose hot choc !)

Something snapped inside and I said Right we are leaving. Once we got outside I gave them full stern mum. What an pair of absolute spoilt brats! How dare you behave like that and spoil what should be a nice occasion!! Etc etc you get the picture.

Then we walked home in silence whereupon DH also gave them a talking to.

Things have been better since then 🤣

Bloody good on you. I would have done exactly the same thing.

I think it’s a bit like family holidays - once you completely dump all your expectations of what a holiday is, it doesn’t seem too bad. Christmas with kids is like that 😂

Holding routine is important - just the key things like naps and mealtimes. Make sure you sort snacks so the dc aren’t starving before or after Christmas lunch because while the adults will be stuffed, kids don’t eat much.

Plan an activity that the dc can do by themselves after dinner (dvd maybe) and reveal it just before. That way you and dh can lounge at the table a bit longer and actually finish eating.

If you have lots of gifts don’t overwhelm the dc in the morning when you can spread it out and fill a crappy bit of the day with another gift.

In our house we invite gps on rotation, to play with the dc while I cook. Works for us.

You can have a lovely meal and cut lots of corners. This isn’t the year to make everything from scratch.

That’s all my Christmas wisdom distilled from tears of sweat and tears 😂

Mine are 4 and nearly 3 and I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year. 4 year old is full of excitement and wonder and 2 year old is picking up on it.

We'll still have to 'manage' the day a bit as we would any other day. Tag teaming so one adult takes the children while the other can get on with some jobs. Early stockings then a good hour walk to burn off some energy before heading home mid morning for relatives coming. Some treat foods of course but making sure they eat proper food too and not a stupid amount of sugar. They can have a good dose of cBeebies and tablet time in the afternoon so we get to relax a bit too. Luckily they've started to play together a bit which I'm hoping will make the difference this year.

I fully expect a couple of pinch points - late morning from all the new toys and the pre lunch grump, and later afternoon when the excitement wears off and the tiredness kicks in. But it's definitely a lot easier now they're not physically clinging to me all the time.

And yes, I agree with spreading presents through the day, helps to not overwhelm them and if you get any lulls you can just suggest it's time to open another gift.

This tends to split opinions as to whether I Was a grinch or a genius. When my son was little, I never let him know it was Christmas Eve to ensure he slept the whole night and we could both enjoy day the day.

Not with my teens. They don't care and I'd happily cancel.

I wouldn’t bother trying to cook a full Christmas meal if you don’t have anyone looking after the children. It will be stressful and you probably won’t enjoy eating it either.

When DS was 2, we had beans on toast for Christmas dinner. It was grand. DH and I both had flu but I was the one looking after DS, whilst DH was in bed. This was 10 years ago but I remember it well. We don’t have any family to help out so we muddled through.

It does get easier … they are too young at the moment but we always got a Lego set they could manage on their own while we did dinner

I also have a 3 and 1 year old... My 3 year old. Will play by himself but my 1 year old is wild, she has no interest in toys, into everything she shouldn't be.
That's why I'm only doing a buffet for Xmas day this year, walk on the beach then home for toys.
Hopefully we are going out for Xmas dinner at a pub Xmas eve.
Think it'll be a new tradition, less stress.

You need more people. Grandparents or other relatives to keep the children entertained while you do the dinner etc.

3 and 1 is tough. Mine are 5 and 3 and so far this year is bloody awesome. Youngest didn't enjoy a light trail we went on last night as much as oldest but he was fine. I think it'll just get better and better now- high hopes for 6 and 4.

4/5/6 (depending on the child) until about 11 they are fantastic

Then you get teens who are lovely too but in another way, as they need their space from you

Little pre school ones are very hard work!

The key is for both partners to take a full part - so on Christmas Day it’s very much one parent cooks whilst the other cares for the children. The one cooking doesn’t over done their part so that the other one has an interminable stretch of solo childcare with the kids getting hungry and fractious. Neither do they use every pan and condemn the other to all the washing up “because they cooked” and go off for a nap. It has to be fair basically

Grandparents there is also good, as long as your dp/ DH doesn’t think they are helping out instead of him - which can co incide with them thinking “oh there can’t be any help needed or the dp would be doing it”

Thanks everyone. More people would be so so wonderful but not possible sadly. It makes me sad.

DH and I have sat and wrapped the children's presents tonights which has been nice. He pulls more than his weight which helps enormously