Present for gender non-conforming 15 year old?

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

Any ideas? I'm not meant to know about the non-conformity but am avoiding all girly things. If no ideas forthcoming I will get books, but just in case anyone has a flash of brilliance...

Nothing either of my kids are getting for Christmas is gendered. Unless they’re operating it with their genitalia, I’m not sure there’s any such thing. What is the young person into? Just buy things that relate to their interests.

By non gender conforming are they identifying as non binary? I wouldn’t say that has any relation by fifteen teenagers likes are very niche!

Is there a show/film they like? Are they into art? I get about some funky art for their room? Or one of the big wall flag things are popular too! Maybe some LED lights?

If they have a hobby, are into a sporting activity or play a musical instrument, then something to do with that.

Otherwise chocolate in all its forms, and maybe a gift voucher.

What does gender non comforming mean? Not wearing make up? Short hair on a girl, not liking typically 50s stereotype feminine things like baking ? Its bad if you cant be a woman without falling into gender conforming (regressive) or gender nonconforming (supposedly progressive) catagories.

Totally depends on their interests.

Stationary, notebooks, pens, diaries. etc
Craft kits (Eg: needle felting, polymer clay, model vehicles)
Anime comic/ models etc
Clothes - Socks, underwear, jumper, hat, gloves, scarf, pyjamas,
Games (board, card or computer)
Stuff for bedroom - lights, cushion, rug
Tech - power pack for phone, headphones, fit bit watch

I'm confused. DD was born a girl, she identified as girl - can I not buy her some lego or matchbox cars or a football (traditionally boys toys) ?!?

Anyway..
Books
Paints
Mug and hot chocolate kit
An animal adoption pack
A tablet/kindle/ipad
Bluetooth speakers

I know, I know. I have already thought through all those aspects and of course will look for things that are to do with interests etc but the thing is that the gender issue (identifying as non-binary) is uppermost in their mind at the moment and is all-consuming for them and I was wondering whether anyone else had already gone through the thought process and bought something brilliant and sensitive.

I don't know why I posted really - shouldn't have. I just have got in the habit of asking Mumsnet about everything! I always get some ideas - and thank you to those of you who have made suggestions; they've been helpful.

Probably all the more reason to go for something that has nothing to do with the gender non-conformity, to reinforce there is more to life! What about some kind of experience voucher - theatre trip? Spotify subscription?

Good point

Is she an insidey or outsidey person? I have an insidey person and I buy really lovely soft fleecy blankets and slippers and dressing gowns and giant pillows.

Outsidey person you could get her really lovely socks, hats, gorgeous mittens, cashmere scarf

I have bought a sweater my dd requested from aelfric eden, it is Hong Kong style street wear and entirely unisex. I have also bought some ck unisex fragrance. I want her to be able to enjoy fashion, and smelling nice without forcing her into a traditionally female box of make up, dresses, pink toiletries.

Also novelty socks are big (shrek, grinch, sloths, not Christmas ones), jewellery for her piercing, converse in funky designs.

Or the experience thing is a good idea. Basically anything thwt isn't related to navel gazing!

Could you get her something you could do together or would that be unwelcome?

@Umbongoumbongo999

I have bought a sweater my dd requested from aelfric eden, it is Hong Kong style street wear and entirely unisex. I have also bought some ck unisex fragrance. I want her to be able to enjoy fashion, and smelling nice without forcing her into a traditionally female box of make up, dresses, pink toiletries.

Also novelty socks are big (shrek, grinch, sloths, not Christmas ones), jewellery for her piercing, converse in funky designs.

These all resonate as things they would potentially like - thank you. I've never heard of that brand before and it looks perfect.

Incense, blanket, cool glass lamp for her room, chopsticks, water bottle, unisex cozy scarf, canvas tote bag focused on art or science or literature.

A journal. Really nice pens. A selection of great washi tape - Etsy is incredible for this and has gazillions of interesting, non-girly ones. Ink. A desk item from Scriptum's online store - they have really nice, old-fashioned looking pieces.

Also maybe neon wall art, card games (genderless), recipe book not aimed at girls at all, Japanese candy of the interesting, rather than 'cute' variety?

indoor sky dive experience
teen driving experience
birds of prey experience
speedboat experience

Sky projector night light?

I'm not sure how they identify has any really impact on buying gifts. I have a 15yo that identifies as a girl and I would just buy her want I know she will enjoy. I'm unsure really why your family member identify as N-B even comes into the equation?

My non binary teen is getting decent headphones and some trainers

Also some calvin klein unisex perfume. They do loads.
Also some harry potter stuff, as thankfully they think that JK is fine and the haters are nuts

A reality check? In all seriousness nothing you get will either confirm or deny their gender or 'non-gender'.

If people allow consumerable goods and trends and people's opinions or their gifts - the external - to rule over/quash their identity, then they are on very shaky ground and will be for the rest of their lives.

What’s your budget? A pair of Doc boots, AirPods, Oculus 2, tickets to a band, Levi’s jacket (you can vintage ones on eBay for about £30-£40).

Doc Martens
Personalised journal - bargains on referral thread
Tickets to a gig/show
Converse /vans
Backpack
Lush bath stuff/shower jelly
Indie coffee shop voucher

I actually do see why the OP mentioned the 15 year olds identity - if she'd asked what to get a 15 year old she probably would have been asked girl or boy and if she had simply said girl then she would have been given lots of suggestions for hair and makeup products or perfume or jewellery because as much as those things can be used by anyone they are typically what 15 year old girls tend to get given for Christmas. I was a teenager who never had any interest in anything pink, frilly and excessively 'girly' but that is what I would be bought. Every single year.

I genuinely don't know anyone who is really gender conforming so probably can't help with that as I don't understand the question. However, I think many people who make such declarations are doing so in the context of confusion/ making sense of their sexual desires. Maybe something which shows support for LGB people then? I got my DD rainbow socks and rainbow belt last year. My son tells me that frogs are some sort of marker of being not straight? So this year we got her some frog things. The message is 'we accept you as you are' 'whatever your sexuality is, is fine'. Perhaps you could think along those lines?