Present for gender non-conforming 15 year old?

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

Any ideas? I'm not meant to know about the non-conformity but am avoiding all girly things. If no ideas forthcoming I will get books, but just in case anyone has a flash of brilliance...

But surely if they're non-binary "girl gifts" and "boy gifts" should both be fine?

And suggestions for OP: headphones, Spotify subscription, gaming vouchers if they have a console of some kind, a nice hoodie or shoes, a good book, chocolate.

@KevinTheKoala

I actually do see why the OP mentioned the 15 year olds identity - if she'd asked what to get a 15 year old she probably would have been asked girl or boy and if she had simply said girl then she would have been given lots of suggestions for hair and makeup products or perfume or jewellery because as much as those things can be used by anyone they are typically what 15 year old girls tend to get given for Christmas. I was a teenager who never had any interest in anything pink, frilly and excessively 'girly' but that is what I would be bought. Every single year.

This. It's perfectly reasonable to mention it, perfectly reasonable to ask for suggestions, and this is not the thread for people to muse about the wider implications of NB identity, imo. It's literally just asking for ideas...in the Xmas section!

@Bitofachinwag

But surely if they're non-binary "girl gifts" and "boy gifts" should both be fine?

Spectacularly missing the point here...

Random thoughts here as our teen had an expensive birthday present and is working her way through a reasonably pricey advent calendar.

Our 14 year old has/will be spending a lot of time on her computer studying/arsing about.
To stop her being hunched over her laptop we've bought her a Bluetooth ergonomic keyboard and a laptop stand. We have a nasty feeling she'll be back to online learning in 2022. We reckon she'd lose earbuds, but she often uses a jawbone earphones (and gets through charging cables and earphones).

She uses shampoo/skin washes from grüum
which is online and pretty gender neutral.

Try Oddballs for underwear if your child is sporty.

How about a phone case to stop the screen shattering etc? (Oretech or Otterbox are sturdy). DD gets a refurbished phone every 3-4 years.

Lava lamp, Joby tripod for phone, scratch map, rainbow bagel-making kit from noths, journal 29, book nook, papercut forest are some things that my DD is getting. Not nb, but also not into make up, perfume etc.

My 13 yo identifies as non-binary and likes:

Make-up
Bucket hats
Bath stuff
Squishy, cuddly things
Colourful accessories
Things in LGBTQ+ flag colours

Essentially still pretty 'girly'

I bought a non binary flag to go on wall.

There's a radical jewellery company called Topple & Burn who sell pronoun necklaces (in the style of a name necklace)

@Innocenta

Incense, blanket, cool glass lamp for her room, chopsticks, water bottle, unisex cozy scarf, canvas tote bag focused on art or science or literature.

A journal. Really nice pens. A selection of great washi tape - Etsy is incredible for this and has gazillions of interesting, non-girly ones. Ink. A desk item from Scriptum's online store - they have really nice, old-fashioned looking pieces.

Can you buy me Christmas presents, please? Lovely ideas.

@Branleuse

My non binary teen is getting decent headphones and some trainers

I'm 62 and appear as female gender conforming as you could (not) hope to find. I'm always losing/ breaking headphones.

Surely you buy anybody something they will like regardless of sex/gender/ sexual orientation and age?

Have a look at Displate for metal posters for their wall.

@KevinTheKoala

I actually do see why the OP mentioned the 15 year olds identity - if she'd asked what to get a 15 year old she probably would have been asked girl or boy and if she had simply said girl then she would have been given lots of suggestions for hair and makeup products or perfume or jewellery because as much as those things can be used by anyone they are typically what 15 year old girls tend to get given for Christmas. I was a teenager who never had any interest in anything pink, frilly and excessively 'girly' but that is what I would be bought. Every single year.

On MN?

I Think it's far more likely she'd have been asked what the 15 year old was like/ interested in. Which happened here.

If you rephrase it as a gift that's suitable for a 15yo of any sex

• something edible. Lots of YouTubers import snacks from say Japan and try and see what snacks they have. B&M and the supermarkets often have American sweets
• something wearable. Say a hoodie (not cropped). Plain colour and if you buy from a shop that sells for men and women then it's more unisex
• a Gift Voucher for a place that seeks for men and women. Eg ASOS
• an experience. Eg a Young Drivers Lesson or cinema tickets
• toiletries There are brands like CKOne that are unisex

• something gadgety. Eg a battery pack for phones.

From personal experience - just buy what you think they would like, but steering away from anything that actively draws attention to them being a girl or a boy. Be aware of it, but don't make a huge deal out of it one way or another. These days, my eldest (adult) child does want me to think of them as non binary, but they still also want all the stuff they ever did want at Christmas.

Does this mean that you can only get her gifts which aren’t typically received by one sex or the other? If she’s non binary, that must mean no “boy” gifts either? Or are “boy” gifts ok? So it massively reduces the scope of possible gifts? I’m honestly confused.

So, gifts not allowed: make up, perfume, pink clothes, fluffy clothes, nail varnish, candles, books with female lead characters.

Also not allowed: electronics set, minecraft socks, gaming chair/accessories, basket ball, adventure/spy/thriller books, grey clothes.

Allowed: headphones, Chilly water bottle (in a “neutral” colour?).

I wasn’t at all a girly teen, I didn’t wear make up, I wasn’t interested in clothes. I had short hair. I got as presents technic Lego, books, pyjamas, piano music, fimo, chocolate, a new music stand, that kind of stuff. Never occurred to me that I was therefore non binary, or whether or not these were suitable presents for a girl - I was a girl, I received those presents, therefore they were suitable presents.

I often look on both the “presents for a xx age girl” and “presents for a as age boy” threads for DD1, as she could well like stuff from either thread….

Get her stuff she’ll like! Whatever that stuff is!

I've got my dd:
cactus rubbers
cash
anime stuff
checked pjs

Other ideas:
neon lamp
smellies
fluffy socks
pastel highlighters

jellycat cactus cuddly toy
actual cactus plants
macrame plant hanger
record player
hot chocolate

I have 2 gender non-conforming dds!

I know it's a bit of a hot button topic so am not really surprised by some of the responses, but, to clarify, the reason why I mentioned it is that the introspection and reflection is important to them at the moment. I love them, but I've seen them very little since lockdown, during which time there have been a lot of changes, as there would be with any 13-15 year old shift.

I want to get a good gift, I don't want to mis-step and don't know any other 15 year olds or mums of 15 year olds, so I asked on Mumsnet because it's full of people who do know teens and what they are into very well. And actually, I lucked out because I've had brilliant suggestions here and have ordered one of the Aelfric sweatshirts and think I will win top present award (I hope!) because it rings really true as just the right thing for them at the moment.

Thank you everyone!

@ElizabethinherGermanGarden I'm so glad you found the perfect gift! And I hope they love it

Do they like bubblebath/body shop stuff.. they can identify as they wish and still favour a certain brand of a certain item

[quote Innocenta]@ElizabethinherGermanGarden I'm so glad you found the perfect gift! And I hope they love it [/quote]
Thank you - it feels as if it might be! Of course, I might be completely wrong and embarrassing but it counts as a properly decent try at least.

You still haven’t said what they’re interested in. Is talking about being non binary really their only hobby?

Or are they sporty? Artistic? Do they like reading? Cooking? Crafts? Are they a film buff?

The most popular presents with teens seem to be oodies, doc martens, and novelty food gifts such as popcorn maker, bubble tea making kit, doughnut maker and Japanese and American candy.

@Flapjak

What does gender non comforming mean? Not wearing make up? Short hair on a girl, not liking typically 50s stereotype feminine things like baking ? Its bad if you cant be a woman without falling into gender conforming (regressive) or gender nonconforming (supposedly progressive) catagories.

This Has this 15 year old person got any interests?