Present for gender non-conforming 15 year old?

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

Any ideas? I'm not meant to know about the non-conformity but am avoiding all girly things. If no ideas forthcoming I will get books, but just in case anyone has a flash of brilliance...

It’s all very well everyone poo-pooing the idea and saying “buy things for their interests” but not every teen thinks things with their interests plastered on them are cool, and they change rapidly.

If a teen has an interest it’s most likely they’ve got what they need for it after a birthday and a Christmas. There’s no point buying more art supplies for my dd, she gets games on game pass. She doesn’t want to advertise her fleeting interests to her peers on a hoody.

I’m finding there is a specific style to gender-neutral as I shop with my dd.

If you’re buying for a regular teenage girl you can pretty much pick up anything that isn’t a main outfit (too specific) from Primark womens’ section and be confident they’ll enjoy using it.

If you’re buying for a teenage girl that is put-off by the style of women’s things, you’d think you’d go to the men’s section instead - but they don’t identify with that style either.

There are few and far-between items that fit what they’re looking for, and yes they tend to be baggy or straight cut. We have some luck in the older boys’ sections sometimes.

If you’re buying for a regular teenage girl you can pretty much pick up anything that isn’t a main outfit (too specific) from Primark womens’ section and be confident they’ll enjoy using it.
That's just bullshit stereotyping.

There isn't a cookie cutter teen girl unless it comes from an adult who believes in silly stereotypes.

That's exactly why people are saying to buy based on an individual's likes, preferences and interests, like any other person.

What a ridiculous idea that teen gift giving is:

1. Generic girl gift that you can be sure a teen girl would like
2. Generic boy gift that you can be sure a teen boy would like

3 Special unique category for those people who are super different from all the other girls and boys who fit nicely into stereotypical boxes

I'd put money on the fact that lots of teens who receive gifts based on 1 and 2 will say thank you because it's the polite thing to do, use it if it fits their style and interests, and not use if if it doesn't. They'd probably rather have a gift that accounts for the fact they're an individual with their own likes, dislikes, interests, style and preferences like every other human being on earth, than whatever an adult who subscribes to sexist stereotyping thinks a child with particular genitals should like.

@LolaSmiles

Nah, it's way easier to buy for a teenage girl identifying teenage girl than it is to buy for a they/them. Not because of the teenager, but because of the powerful machine that is gendered marketing.

I agree it’s down to marketing.

Perfumes are aimed at males and females (for him…for her).

I mentioned toiletries because it’s something my dd mention as a lot. I went into boots to try and find her a gift set but found it all the female oriented products are pink or floral (look and smell), all the body spray sets seem to have pictures of lips (so etc…) and all the male gift sets are darkly coloured, come with shaving products. The only in between is the Harry Potter range but my dd grew out of HP years ago. Yes there are gender neutral beauty products but they come in white bottles which are pretty boring. My dd has ASD, she likes colourful things, she’s very much a female but doesn’t like pink floral type things and prefers things that don’t have “for him…or…for her” on them.

Most of DD’s friends shop in primark, newlook, etc… where as dd struggles to find things she likes in those shops, she does find the odd thing she likes. She buys things from the men’s and woman’s sections depending on what she likes the look of.

It’s not really about there not being any gender neutral things, it’s about the fact lots of things are labelled as being for males or females.

I wore lynx and brut as a teen 🤣, I’m not trans or gender neutral, it was kind of trendy at the time to wear something that wasn’t meant for girls. Things seem to be much different now and everything seems to be labelled due to your personal choices.

@worriedatthemoment

I really can't see why people are saying they buy xyz because there child is gay , non binary etc etc Just buy what someone likes or into surely whatever sexuality/ gender or otherwise they are Not all gay people want rainbow stuff , like not all boys want a football or girls want make up

I guess to reduce the suggestions of heavily gendered gifts such as makeup and glitter

Its hard to advise if thats the only noteable personality trait of the child though

I get why you mentioned it too OP.
If they like reading, definitely some book vouchers or perhaps a kindle? You can also get personalised kindle sleeves.

A hoodie, vans, rucksack, socks, travel mug etc. If they like scent then have a sniff around. I love masculine fragrances but go and have a sniff and see what you like.

Thank you - lots of follow-up comments since the last time I checked. I understand the principled frustration with the question in the first place, but in fact such brilliant suggestions were made for presents that it got sorted early on and then the thread took on a life of its own.

I've checked with the teen's mum and she thinks the present I've ordered is absolutely spot on, so I'm hoping that they will be very happy with it. I would never have found it on my own - not a brand that was on my radar at all - so I am glad I asked.

Can you at least tell us what you bought?

I did post about it at the time! But it was this top, in the orange colourway.

aelfriceden.co.uk/collections/new-in/products/aelfric-eden-hip-hop-style-stitching-long-sleeved-tee

Nah, it's way easier to buy for a teenage girl identifying teenage girl than it is to buy for a they/them. Not because of the teenager, but because of the powerful machine that is gendered marketing.
It doesn't mean the teen girl is going to like whatever a bunch of adults think a stereotypical girl should like though.

Just one look at my students and I could list a wide range of interests, preferences, styles, likes, dislikes. There's certainly not a one size fits all present.

It's why buying gifts based on an individual's personality and interests is best, regardless of their sex or gender identity.

I’m getting DD
Neon light for bedroom
Trainers
Candy floss machine
Trainers
Board game
Speaker pillow
Hp sprocket
Drawing tablet
Book
Marshmallow toasting kit (vegan for DD)
Book
Clothes

DS is getting
PS4 game
Concert tickets
Gym membership
NASA space pen
Speaker pillow
Pandemic board game
Aftershave
Book
Clothes

Only the clothes and aftershave is gendered, and could be swapped for a unisex fragrance

[quote ElizabethinherGermanGarden]I did post about it at the time! But it was this top, in the orange colourway.

aelfriceden.co.uk/collections/new-in/products/aelfric-eden-hip-hop-style-stitching-long-sleeved-tee[/quote]
Ooh it's very cool!!