13 yo DD has asked for a bottle of Dior perfume for Christmas.....

[BaconAndAvocado]

.......to which I replied a firm No.

I’ve bought her a bottle of Nina Ricci. A third of the price.

One of my friends however didn’t think there was anything wrong in this.

To me, she’s far too young for something like this.

Like most of her friends, she does wear a bit of make up but obviously nothing high end.

Thoughts?

I don’t think you should give her the perfume you use on yourself. And I do think Nina Ricci is rather “old” in its presentation. It’s not a young person’s perfume on my view.

Why a “firm no”? Makes it sound you thought she was wrong to even ask!

@SeigneurLapindeGrantham I still love it too! Although if I smell it I’m transported back to being a teenager so I don’t tend to wear it these days, it gets me panicking about maths homework and whether Rob S will go out with me

Santa is bringing my four year old a Frozen perfume this year.

It’s an attempt to stop the wee bandit stealing my Chanel

Perfume is so personal. What a waste of money buying someone a cheaper perfume.

If its about price there are plenty of reasonable smelling dupes around for a fraction of the cost.

It might be worth doing a girly shopping trip to try on different scents to get an idea of what scent style she actually likes and treating her. Some brands do things like shower gels and lotions etc for a cheaper version of getting the scent.

It seems tbh a bit of a waste to scoff at the idea of spending money on a perfume she has asked for and risk spending that money on a perfume she may not even like or use instead. My nan always seemed to get me ones like sunflowers that I'd end up donating so it was a waste of money.

@AntiMaskersAreTwats

My 70 year old mum wears Nina Ricci poor kid

This ^ but insert an 80 year old

@Imissmoominmama

My mum always got me something slightly different to what I’d asked for. Every Christmas I hoped I’d get the exact thing, but she always went for a sale version. I knew I seemed ungrateful, but honestly, it was shit.

I don’t think it’s ungrateful. It’s not the money but the feeling of not being listened to/having to pretend to be happy with something that isn’t what you asked for. Especially as a child when you don’t have the option to buy it for yourself unless you get pocket money.

Different if the child asks for something too expensive but in that case I would say to my child we can’t afford x, is there anything similar you’d like?

@user33323

I'm baffled by all these replies. It's £100 a small bottle and she's a child. That is what is wrong. It's not hard to see the problem. They can't appreciate the value at that age and will more than likely waste it or lose it.

She’s 13, not 7. If the value of the item is explained to her then she will understand that it is expensive and to be used sparingly.

And why is a 13 year old likely to ‘lose’ perfume more than any other expensive gift or toy? If anything you’re less likely to lose perfume, you hardly take it around with you.

@Confusedteacher

My 13 year old DD has asked for a Vivienne Westwood necklace When I stopped laughing, I then explained that the ones I had seen were at least £80 and that if that was what she really wanted it would pretty much be her only present. So we’ve compromised that I’m going to find a cheaper one in that style.

I think brands are a big thing for teenagers, in a much bigger way than when we were kids, but they don’t really understand how much things cost.

Hi sorry to but in randomly, I used to work with Vivienne Westwood jewellery. The quality is that of a high street store, just plated base metal. I have some replicas from eBay which are identical (and I handled the real thing pretty much daily).

Here's a link to one much more affordable, exact same design and no compromise in quality as real Viv is nothing valuable anyway.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/194439392440?_trkparms=ispr%3D1&hash=item2d457dacb8:g:~xQAAOSwKJthaH9b&amdata=enc%3AAQAGAAACoPYe5NmHp%252B2JMhMi7yxGiTJkPrKr5t53CooMSQt2orsSd3M8ngECaRA0SmyU4KT%252FnuGcgKkDBzaNiRPeG7FenTRZL%252BIhP%252Bri97qp2GDoL%252BcxnvXQMg00tnTYAKEXR5jw11owCVci9zHSkD5mUPBp2MMPC6fGivG4UyAwxqBgfYQLZ%252Fb8NGuMYm9g67QZPNrGELKvhdcwPENM52h%252BbxN1pDks5w1GlBidXk5NCj%252BNloO%252B8vwuh5DyDp0E4GzTkmy0t106bmKdImYfpf93PBIxG6O8qEUXDNOHePBC9M7Iq%252FYeZbYtkWurDuTS1M%252BrOihhE1zp6DZI7Y%252B5GU4ivfCyiFCsahpixGLyiCiBugKtRsAKOadiAQV9tTtPL9kHEacQBGAcQT1tZcK23a97Pk4YuwVJSbDpua6%252FLYLfhRaty9UMl2TveD28T%252BlKN8hlSIMKODFVF4UHFgTBG5SN041XrZqOlVYtcxKAXt%252BqjNDTGkDdMneTldbYDj0uHjqC6b1aBFDvrXJxbS5b1ng0ugZhK8b4bPt6kmPiwb5kh2svPOxszP0M%252FqE%252Fi6LSCIaxBz1VyGVb5W5bhowTveafexW6atqEh2DdzarxlriTByBtiKSheLJXCTwEKEbx2PW%252Bs02GhZT803kJDzSLWgHteNMbuOmqBOHGniP9Q37Z2ggmbvx%252Bw%252Bhe5QzBFoGYLSKCZE%252Bhlh7A7Yv1GSBW3ZsKxlt7hQd0RQwxOfgYs0sIAOU43UJiXSkH14ouRA3%252FNdnVD4r%252Bjg%252FeICv0nD4aSn8k7ulV2OF1Q%252BgvMzYxdkqZC%252FUBtXA6alSyjlmgMiATBLHFMRMXrpCV29j%252BfjzZOXjzK8V43o1gPO%252BRWK8HdUmev3a77r%252Bqo28rhDDP5zLvkmqlssfe4w%253D%253D%7Cclp%3A2334524%7Ctkp%3ABFBMhoDB7Klf

When I was 5 I really wanted a talking Teddy Ruxpin for xmas. I got a random talking rabbit instead. 35 years later and I'm still sad*

*not really, but I do vividly remember the disappointment. Tbf in hindsight my parents just couldn't afford it

I don't get why you wouldn't get her the one that she wants? Are you like this with other things that she asks for or needs? Because I think you come across as quite controlling.

Why not take her shopping for a perfume and have a day out? I remember getting anais anais as my first perfume
She can find one she loves then, give her a budget to stick to
I adore perfume now and it's a pretty harmless hobby sometimes I buy dupes from perfume parlour, sometimes the real thing, I like perfume workshops etc

I was reading Mizz and wearing impulse body spray. I think that’s the way it should be

Ok. Others think differently.

@BaconAndAvocado

I'd already bought her the Nina Ricci perfume before she mentioned Dior, as I have it and she likes it.

She came in from school today and has said she's changed her mind about the Dior perfume!
When I asked if it was because I said No, she said that not and that she would like clothes now.

She was probably just being polite. No teenager wants to smell like their mum.

@SecretaryOfNagriculture

I was reading Mizz and wearing impulse body spray. I think that’s the way it should be

Ok. Others think differently.

I wore minging body spray and so everyone should wear minging body spray regardless of whether they like or dislike it.

I mean I also read Mizz and wore impulse o2 but I also had cerruti 1881 perfume. It doesn't have to be either/or
I would use the impulse for school and then have my nice perfume for going out with friends or parties

Now I have everything from a £5 to a £180 perfume and I love them all

I think buying her the perfume she hasn't smelt is more of a waste of money as it's a strong possibility she might not like it.

Don't buy it if you can't afford it. But equally don't get her one she didn't ask for. I'd be gutted in her place.

Oh don’t give her the same perfume you wear! I think perfume is a really special, grown up gift and I have always loved receiving it. My mum bought my first bottle of perfume and it was dior. We went to boots together and she let me smell a few different ones, then she unexpectedly said ‘I’ve got loads of boots points, which one of those do you want?’

It was the most wonderful, luxurious treat, I’ll never forget that lovely day we spent together, that’s what is so profound about scent, it evokes all these memories. Fair enough, perhaps she’s fickle about what she wants. But why not try to turn this into an occasion for you both.

Why not take her inshore to try a few cheaper alternatives. If you buy one that she doesn't like, she won't use it anyway and that'll be a waste of money. Agree that Nina Ricci a bit old fashioned for her age. I've bought mine a Britney Spears before which isn't too expensive.

If it’s a price thing then that’s alright. But if not, why not but the Dior and let her feel special? You don’t seem to have an issue with her wearing perfume so I don’t get it.

I also don’t get why she’s too young for one perfume but not another?

I think perfume is quite personal - so I would never ever buy someone this without knowing they like it.

If she loves the smell of the one she thinks she likes I might have bought it - whilst saying - this is expensive - v few other presents. I would not buy it based on a glitzy advert.

Or have taken her to somewhere where she could try a few.

My mother once had a Nina Ricci perfume ( eau de perfume / toilette - whatever ) it made me sneeze & feel faintly nauseous - it was horrid ( but that is just one opinion ) Others may love it.

In my day White Linen I considered quite the thing - ( anyone else remember that ) - might have to see if I can get it again It was less expensive than others & a step up from "Charlie"

@PleasantBirthday

It's funny how many of us remember getting not quite the thing we wanted and how utterly disappointing it was. My mother had Very Strong Views about all kinds of things and constantly vetoed what I wanted. I think it left me with very little confidence in my own judgement about what I like and what I want and that I manage to get things right.

So I think getting the thing she wants and being happy that she's got her own point of view, even about what kind of brand she likes right now, is not a bad thing.

So much this

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Yeah my mum always used to ask me what I wanted and then buy something else. Usually something cheaper. That went straight in the bin.

I was too scared to put in the bin. My mother would have gone mental.

I think this is why I'm not that bothered about the year she forgot to get me anything (well there was a hair slide, the type you put a pony tail in, I had short hair).

OP think about what you are saying to your daughter. You are telling her you can afford what she wants, but you are deliberately giving her something she doesn't want.

I know perfume is expensive, but have you looked at the samples you can get? You can get 4 Dior perfumes for about £30-35, perfume counters often have samples too.