13 yo DD has asked for a bottle of Dior perfume for Christmas.....

[BaconAndAvocado]

.......to which I replied a firm No.

I’ve bought her a bottle of Nina Ricci. A third of the price.

One of my friends however didn’t think there was anything wrong in this.

To me, she’s far too young for something like this.

Like most of her friends, she does wear a bit of make up but obviously nothing high end.

Thoughts?

I'm buying DD who is the same age Chanel perfume for Christmas. She asked for it, we've tested it and it smells nice on her, I can afford it. Why wouldn't I?

To me, she’s far too young for something like this.

Why is she too young?

Is it the cost or do you think that perfume has a minimum age requirement?

If you can afford it why wouldn’t you?
DS 12 wants a pair of ££££ trainers for Christmas. It’s all he wants and we can afford it so he can have them.
I don’t understand your logic at all OP

I get if it's not within your budget, nor getting it.

But not getting it based on age is just weird. And then buying her something she doesn't want? Because you think it's more age appropriate (it's not).

Dd has been wearing Olympea since she was a bit younger than your. Lasts ages, good value and she likes it, so will use it

I remember getting a bottle of Miss Dior when I was 13 - there is no age limit

Why wouldn't you buy her the one she wants?

I am also very sensitive to certain fragrances so they sadly end up in the bin ... which is what happened to the Nina Ricci "l'air du temps" that someone gave me in my teens (gave me bad headaches)

I would have bought it, I don’t really understand your logic.

I'd have got it for her if it was within budget

My 70 year old mum wears Nina Ricci poor kid

What's the point of buying her a perfume she doesn't like ? As others have said if you can't afford Dior fine to live within your budget. Personally I think your DD has excellent taste.

This is surely a joke thread!

No one would do that to their child.

Imagine her face on Christmas morning.

(The OP hasn’t said the price was the problem, so I’m assuming it wasn’t that. Just an entirely arbitrary judgement on the OP’s part.)

Another here who thinks your reaction is a bit weird. I remember when I asked for my first bottle of 'real' perfume for Christmas. It was YSL Rive Gauche and I felt so goddamn classy in it. Honestly, I felt like it was some sort of rite of 'womanhood' to have a proper dressing table with proper perfume on it after a couple of years of Charlie and So... body sprays. I would have been 14 that Christmas, but only just. And Miss Dior is totally appropriate for teens (moreso than my Rive Gauche actually!)

Obviously if you can't afford it then it's a no, but your objection seems to be that 13 year olds can't appreciate that sort of stuff and I think they very much can.

Presumably she likes the way it smells and would wear it?

If she doesn't like the one you're choosing it'll be a waste of money.

Scent is such a personal thing.

A better idea would've been taking her out and choosing one together - quality time & effective use of money.

Why would you buy anyone a Xmas present that’s a bit like the thing they want but isn’t actually the thing? She’s going to be so disappointed on the day. If it’s cost why not give her a contribution towards it or ask other family members to chip in?

As others have said, depends if there is a particular fragrance that she loves by Dior, or does she just want any Dior perfume having never showed any interest in perfume previously.

I remember getting a bottle of Dune when I was around her age. It was a really special present, not only because I loved the smell (a few friends at school had it and I would grab a squirt of it each time I went into Boots with my Mum), but because of what it represented. It made me feel grown up, I “fitted in” at school, and I loved seeing it on my dressing table and thinking about all of the above. Another perfume would not have been the same, and I would felt like my parents just didn’t “get it”.

Only you know why she might be asking for the Dior, but unless it isn’t possible due to budget, I would dig a little deeper or

Could you get her a perfume parlour dupe of the one she wants too?

If you can’t afford it, fine, but you’re acting as if she was wrong to ask. If she likes the brand and smell, it is no wonder she wanted that one.

I wouldn’t buy it OP.It’s all part of the insidious creep of seeing girls as decorative/pleasing objects OP, and I think it’s really depressing to see the amount of people buying children and teenagers make up/“beauty” products etc for Christmas. Don’t teach your children to get confidence from wearing make up or perfume, teach them to gain confidence from being their own amazing selves.

But as this is the Christmas topic and not FWR I will keep my rant short.

As you were.

I don't really understand op. Either she's old enough for perfume or not...what difference does the brand make?

It's like saying she can have a mascara but only from Maybelline, definitely not Rimmel. If not due to the price, what's the difference?

@applechips

I wouldn’t buy it OP.It’s all part of the insidious creep of seeing girls as decorative/pleasing objects OP, and I think it’s really depressing to see the amount of people buying children and teenagers make up/“beauty” products etc for Christmas. Don’t teach your children to get confidence from wearing make up or perfume, teach them to gain confidence from being their own amazing selves.

But as this is the Christmas topic and not FWR I will keep my rant short.

As you were.

And how is buying Nina Ricci avoiding that?

Does it make it any better that ds10, is getting Hugo boss this year.

Oddly, you can buy your kids perfume and aftershave and sell teach them, that this is where confidence comes from. You, obviously can't. But most of us can.

My dd is 18 and is a great woman and confident and intelligent and happy....And wore PR from about 12.

I don’t really understand your reasoning. If she’s too young for Dior she’s also too young for Nina Ricci.

@Confusedteacher

My 13 year old DD has asked for a Vivienne Westwood necklace When I stopped laughing, I then explained that the ones I had seen were at least £80 and that if that was what she really wanted it would pretty much be her only present. So we’ve compromised that I’m going to find a cheaper one in that style.

I think brands are a big thing for teenagers, in a much bigger way than when we were kids, but they don’t really understand how much things cost.

My dd asked for the same thing! They have some really nice similar ones on Etsy.

I also think that if you can afford it, you should get the perfume that she asked for. They are very choosy at that age.

I think at that age I was wearing Poison. The original one

I would have bought my 13 yo perfume for xmas. I would have bought the one she asked for providing I could afford it. I wouldn't have bought something else instead.

Recently, in conversation with my elderly father, I reminded him that when I was ten years old, he would not buy me the watch I wanted, but made me accept a cheaper one.

I have not forgotten. I am 64.

Don't cheapskate on your child. If you can't afford it, that's different, you can explain and set a budget. But the 'I'm not paying that!' attitude - that stinks. And she's not too young for perfume.

Both sexes have spent thousands of years decorating themselves for the purpose of pleasing others, applechips - but perfume is something much more personal, a way of constructing a narrative about yourself.

Which is why all these ‘dupe’ suggestions entirely miss the point. The daughter wants to see herself as part of the Dior universe - the last thing she’d want is a deliberate fake which tells a completely different story about her place in the world.