13 yo DD has asked for a bottle of Dior perfume for Christmas.....

[BaconAndAvocado]

.......to which I replied a firm No.

I’ve bought her a bottle of Nina Ricci. A third of the price.

One of my friends however didn’t think there was anything wrong in this.

To me, she’s far too young for something like this.

Like most of her friends, she does wear a bit of make up but obviously nothing high end.

Thoughts?

My dear gran used to give me Miss Dior perfume samples when I was around your daughter's age. I love it and spritzed it all over myself.

I would have loved a full size bottle at her age. But if she has that kind of taste at 13, I fear I must tell you what is coming. I am 29 and my mum just bought me a Charlotte Tilbury makeup set for my birthday, I didn't ask for it. But she knows that its the kind of thing I would like. The makeup set cost her £160.

For Christmas, I asked DH for a new bottle of the foundation I use- Suqqu foundation which is extremely ££££. In fact its one of the most expensive foundations in Selfridges. *blush

I would have also got this if:
a) I could afford it
b) she hadn't asked for much else
I didn't used to like it as a child when I asked for something in particular and got a cheaper version, I know that sounds spoilt but I didn't ask for much

@LiterallyKnowsBest

Both sexes have spent thousands of years decorating themselves for the purpose of pleasing others, applechips - but perfume is something much more personal, a way of constructing a narrative about yourself.

Which is why all these ‘dupe’ suggestions entirely miss the point. The daughter wants to see herself as part of the Dior universe - the last thing she’d want is a deliberate fake which tells a completely different story about her place in the world.

This is one of the most insightful things I've read in a while. Beautifully put @LiterallyKnowsBest

I would have bought it for her depending on what other gifts she was getting. If she'd already asked for say, a pair of DMs costing £150, I wouldn't but if this was the main thing she'd asked for I probably would. Assuming it was something like Miss Dior (£50) rather than one of their more exclusive fragrances that costs £300.

I’ve just bought my 14 year old daughter Chanel chance, I’d rather she’d of liked a less expensive one but she smelt every in perfume in JL and this was her favourite. When she was a lot younger- 10 or so, I would get her cheaper perfume but at 13 I would have got what she asked for.

Unless a money problem normal for a 13 year old to want a 'proper' perfume (and to choose her own).

I used to ask for, and receive, proper perfume for my main present from when I was 12. Still love perfume now, at 32.

In that case no way would I buy it. It sets a precedent too.

For a Christmas present I wouldn’t have thought twice about buying it. When DD was a similar age I remember buying her Jo Malone perfume and Dior makeup. Obviously not an everyday thing but I would rather her have fewer expensive cosmetics than millions of cheap ones.

So instead of spending 2x for a present she’d love, you’ve spent 1x for a present that’s just disappointing and shit. Why? It doesn’t sound like it’s a money thing—there are some women who seem to like to push down daughters and critique them, don’t even like that it’s deeply damaging.

At 13 there's loads of places she could have tried without you having it.

Which you know. If you thought she had never smelled any of then, you would have put that in your op.

I still don't get why you decided NR was the one she was having.

I find this really bizarre tbh you don't mind buying her perfume but not the one she has asked for???

It's funny how many of us remember getting not quite the thing we wanted and how utterly disappointing it was. My mother had Very Strong Views about all kinds of things and constantly vetoed what I wanted. I think it left me with very little confidence in my own judgement about what I like and what I want and that I manage to get things right.

So I think getting the thing she wants and being happy that she's got her own point of view, even about what kind of brand she likes right now, is not a bad thing.

Depends …. EDT is not perfume, it’s garbage. EDP is the right stuff.

Which does she want?

I lusted over Coco Mademoiselle from the age of 14 to 20 when I finally bought it for myself so I don’t think she’s necessarily too young to know she’s smelt it and likes it! It comes down to your budget ultimately.

My mum does this all the time and it drives me absolutely nuts.

She's asks me what I want for Christmas, or the kids want. I ask for something specific (and with in budget) but mum gets something similar but different and cheaper because she has put a value judgement on what I've asked for.

I'd already bought her the Nina Ricci perfume before she mentioned Dior, as I have it and she likes it.

She came in from school today and has said she's changed her mind about the Dior perfume!
When I asked if it was because I said No, she said that not and that she would like clothes now.

It's the age when you become very susceptible to advertising so brands are ridiculously important to you, plus you are trying to look like an adult and usually looking like a loon

At around that age I asked my Mum for Chanel No5 as I had been convinced it was the world's best perfume. Had I smelled it? Of course I hadn't.

My poor mum saved up and bought me a massive bottle. I pretended I liked the smell when really I didn't, I probably used it on and off for about 2 months and that was it.

30 years later I still don't like it and now it gives me migraines. Sorry mum.

If you can afford it then I think you should buy it, otherwise it’s a bit mean. Fair enough if you can’t afford it though.

Definitely wouldn’t have got a different one, makes it even more disappointing for her. If you can’t afford Dior then fine but if you can I really don’t see a problem with it. Christmas is the time to get presents you wouldn’t normally have, I like to try to get mine what they have asked for if it’s in budget.

I don't think thirteen is too young for a real perfume. What's wrong with Dior?

I’m quite surprised by the responses on this thread. Maybe shows that people on MN spend quite a lot on kids at Christmas… but I would have also said no. I understand teenagers wanting to feel grown up and girls wanting all the makeup/perfume/etc but at 13 I was reading Mizz and wearing impulse body spray. I think that’s the way it should be and kids this age should just be experimenting with beauty products. Brands like Chanel and Dior are for adult women and are priced as such. Brands aimed at younger teenagers (which is what she is, there’s a big difference between 13 and 17) are much cheaper. However I do think it’s a bit pointless getting her a different random one unless you know she definitely likes the smell.

IMO her latest reaction has proven that you were right to say no. It was obviously a whim based on something she’d heard or read or something a friend had and she didn’t really think it through or appreciate how much money that really is. Had you gone and spent that eye watering sum on a bottle for her she may well have gone off it quickly if her friends or Instagram influencers or whoever had subsequently decided that it was no longer the in thing.

It would depend on my budget not age.

I wouldn't buy any perfume that I didn't know was wanted, it's too personal.

I got a bottle of Poison when I was 14!

I would take her to a perfume counter, get her to actually smell a few and then pick her fave three, then you and her both get a say.